W. C. Fields (continued)

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     The W. C. Fields clippings in the Performing Arts Library are in
terrible shape.  This is from whatever, whenever:

     H. Allen Smith, in his nutty tome, "Lost in the Horse Latitudes," lists
Fields as a "tank car."  In the chapter headed "Notes on a Swan Hunter," he
tells of the time the Quiz Kids visited the comedian's home.  One of the
juniors timidly asked Fields for a glass of water, with the actor replying:
"Water?...Oh, I've heard of the stuff...it fell on the property here one
night...ran right off.  No, I regret to say I cannot gratify your desires.
Now, I could fix you up a nice scotch and soda."

     From the NEW YORK POST, 13 June 1936, pg. 9, col. 2:

_Fields Coins_
_Film Words_
Actor Prefers His Own Vo-
cabulary to Webster's--
As Illustrated in His Movies
   (...)  Both on and off the screen, Fields has a way of coining words when
none of the Webster brand seems to fit.  He likes the Fields brands better,
and audiences seem to agree with his verdict.
     Terms of endearment coined by the star in his past pictures have won a
place for themselves in film history.  For example, he called Alison
Skipworth in "If I Had a Million" by the various names of "My little
chickadee," "My little glow-worm," "My little penguin," and others.
     Peggy Hopkins Joyce, in "International House," was called "My little
laplander," "My little pineapple" and "My little Mexican jumping bean."
     On the studio lot, FIelds has coined a number of film terms for movie
types.  Some of the best of them are:
     Squeemudgeon: Director who calls an actor down to the studio at 6 A. M.
and doesn't use him till 11.
     Obstructroid:  Male camera hog.
     Obstructrix:  Female ditto.
     Philanthroac:  One whose mission in life seems to be taking care of
drunks who don't want to be taken care of.
     Blurdubble:  Lyrical big game hunter.
     Bibliodemon:  One who looks through your volumes of the classics for
uncut pages.