Poetry?

[Alexey I. Fuchs]

This is very long.
He must have spent some time on it indeed.
:)

Merry Y2K.
I suppose it can be proclaimed the year of ignorance.
Whole lotta people think we are now in the third millenium.
Why didn't it start with the 20th century then, if it might have started
with the last year of the second one?
I congratulate you and rejoice myself being still in the 20th century,
home sweet home.
Merry fin de ciecle.

P.S. The verse is sweet indeed.


                                                                  _
Alexey

On Mon, 27 Dec 1999, Kim & Rima McKinzey wrote:

> Got this from a friend.  Now don't go and quibble about some of the terms -
> or some of the rhymes - or some of his attitude, but he certainly spent
> some time on it.  Rima
>
> Pack It In!
>
> By Geoff Nunberg
> Language Commentary, "Fresh Air," (Nat. Public Radio)
> December 20, 1999
>
>
> Before we start on the carousin'
>
> On the eve of year two thousan',
>
> Let's clean out our linguistic closets
>
> Of their detritus and deposits,
>
> The babble, balderdash, and bugs
>
> That rankle underneath the rugs
>
> With solecisms, slang, and slag,
>
> And sweep it all into a bag.
>
> Then, as the afternoon gets late,
>
> Let's gather on the Golden Gate,
>
> And with one stroke, bold and defiant,
>
> Make English Y2K compliant.
>
>
> Let's clear out our congested cargo
>
> Of business cant and corporate argot.
>
> We'll ditch proactive for a starter,
>
> And "We don't work harder, just work smarter"
>
>
>
>
> Lose sight of visions, goals and missions,
>
> And pitch out value propositions.
>
> Synergistic or synergetic? --
>
> Either one gives me a headache,
>
> And the concept of convergence
>
> Is in need of some submergence.
>
> Consign restructure to the void,
>
> And downsize should be redeployed.
>
> At least, the next time we get canned,
>
> We'll know exactly where we stand.
>
>
> Let's lose "win-win," that favorite phrase
>
> Of all the Harvard MBA's,
>
> And cast on the outgoing tide
>
> The box they like to think outside,
>
> In hopes that in the coming age,
>
> We'll all be on a different page.
>
>
> It wasn't very long ago
>
> The Internet was comme il faut,
>
> And only the most avant-garde
>
> Had @-signs on their business card.
>
> But now that even aunt Estelle
>
> Has got herself a url,
>
> And Vinnie at the barber shop
>
> Made millions on his first-day pop,
>
> We've reached the point where talking geekish
>
> Is starting to sound so last weekish.
>
> Emoticon and digerati
>
> Aren't worth a wooden zloty.
>
> To portal we can give the gate,
>
> Mindshare will do for tuna bait,
>
> And since you asked, IMHO,
>
> Those email acronyms should go.
>
>
> And ere the sun sets, let us jettison
>
> Newbie, netiquette, and netizen,
>
> Nor should we miss this opportunity
>
> To deep-six "virtual community,"
>
> e-this, i-that, and without qualm,
>
> Let's unplug everything.com.
>
>
> On literary critics' patois
>
> I think we must declare a fatwah;
>
> It's hard to part with hegemonic,
>
> But in the end you'll find it tonic.
>
> Think how much groovier texts are rendered
>
> When they're just sexed instead of gendered,
>
> And curling up at bedtime, who wants
>
> To be holding something nuanced?
>
>
> Of that chic expression "pomo,"
>
> I'd just as soon that we heard no mo',
>
> Nor any others of the host
>
> Of vocables prefixed with post-.
>
> We seem to be, for all our fears,
>
> Still modern after all these years.
>
>
> I'm sure that ages hence will honor us
>
> If we stop cooking up new genres,
>
> Let's spare the coming centuries
>
> Prequels and rockumentaries,
>
> And pause not even for a comma
>
> Before discarding "docudrama."
>
> And ere the clock chimes, let us vow
>
> That critics twenty years from now
>
> Will earn themselves an instant wedgie
>
> Whenever they use "taut" or "edgy."
>
>
> Before we can put on our nightcaps,
>
> We've other words to feed the whitecaps:
>
> Let's leave off calling rumors "buzz,"
>
> And blow off anyone who does.
>
> "Wake up call" has gotten thin --
>
> Next year we'll all be sleeping in.
>
> And anything you feel like sharing
>
> Kindly offer to the herring.
>
>
> And as we're chucking out the dross,
>
> Make sure we don't neglect to toss
>
> Those interjections, coy and clever --
>
> Like "Let's not go there," and "whatever!"
>
> (And while we're at it, do I gotta
>
> Even mention "yadda yadda"?)
>
> Arrivederci to "ExCUSE me";
>
> You simply no longer amuse me.
>
> Farewell to "Duh!," and, apropos,
>
> Let's say buh-bye now to "hellO?"
>
>
> Now as we watch the century go out,
>
> There's only one more thing to throw out:
>
> Let's cast onto the coastal shelf
>
> The word millennium itself
>
> (I'm glad to bid that one adieu --
>
> The fact is that I never knew
>
> If it should have one n or two.)
>
>
> And as night falls on the Presidio,
>
> Let's all go home and watch a video,
>
> To pass the century's final hour
>
> (That is, assuming we've got power).
>
>
>
> END
>