OK, a joke But it's about dialect

Thomas Paikeday t.paikeday at SYMPATICO.CA
Sat Jan 13 13:20:18 UTC 2001

Very unscholarly/unacademic, but quite delightful, I must say. I have
printed it out to pass around to a special-interest group of mine,
without infringing copyright, if any claimed.

Tom Paikeday
"Donald M. Lance" wrote:
> I just finished posting an e-mail reeking of scholarliness, so may I now be excused for
> violating protocol and dumping a dialect joke on you?  Warning:  PG, offensive language.
> DMLance
> A construction site boss was interviewing men for a job, when along came a New Yorker.
> "I'm not hiring any wise-ass New Yorker," the foreman thought to himself, so he made up a
> test hoping that the New Yorker wouldn't be able to answer the questions, and he'd be able
> to refuse him the job without getting into an argument"
> Here's your first question" the foreman said. "Without using numbers, represent the number
> 9."
> "Without numbiz?" the New Yorker says. "Dat's easy'" and proceeds to draw three trees.
> "What's this?" the boss asks.
> "Ain't you got no brains? Tree 'n tree n' tree makes nine."
> "Fair enough," says the boss "Here is your second question. Use the same rules, but this
> time the number is 99."
> "Dare ya go," he says.
> The New Yorker stares into space for a while, then picks up the picture that he has just
> drawn and makes a smudge on each tree. "Dare ya go," he says.
> The boss scratches his head and says, "How on earth do you get that to represent 99"
> "Each a da tree's is dirty now! So it's dirty tree, 'n dirty tree, 'n dirty tree. Dat's
> 99."
> The boss is getting worried he's going to have to hire him, so he says "Alright, last
> question. Same rules again, but represent the number 100."
> Mr. New York stares into space again, then he picks up the picture again and makes a
> little mark at the base of each tree, and says, "Dare ya go. A hunnert."
> The boss looks at the attempt. "You must be nuts if you think that represents a hundred."
> The New Yorker leans forward and points to the marks at the tree bases, and says, . . . .
> . . . .
> . . . . . . . . . . . ARE YOU READY FOR THIS?
> A little dog comes along and craps by each tree, so now you've got dirty tree an' a turd,
> dirty tree an' a turd, an' dirty tree an' a turd, which makes one hundred. When do I
> freakin' start?

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