Mullins, Bill Bill.Mullins at US.ARMY.MIL
Fri Dec 17 17:31:10 UTC 2004

This was reminiscent of a monologue on Saturday Night Live, by Alec Baldwin,
from January 20th, 1996:

Alec Baldwin:
During the Christmas season, I received many Christmas cards. Unfortunately,
because I was so busy, I didn't have time to send out any myself. So, if I
could, I'd like to use this as my Christmas card to everyone who was kind
enough to send one to me.

[ puts Santa hat on his head and begins ]

"Dear Friend, or Relative, or Business Associate. Merry Christmas, or
Hanukkah, or Kwanzaa, or Solstice, or Voodoo Day.

Boy, what a year it's been - me, with my acting, and, you doing whatever it
is that you do. Thanks for the Christmas card, it was very beautiful, or
humorous. I enjoyed the photo of your kid, or kids. Boy, he, or she, or they
are really getting big. Have you seen our mutual friend, if we have one? Can
you believe what he or she is up to? Boy, some people! Has your son, or
daughter, or sister, or brother, or husband, or wife still have that drug
problem? All you can do is trust in God, or, if you prefer, voodoo.

How is Granny, or Nana, or Mimi, or Yaya? So so? Hey, how about the
professional sports team that we both root for? They should fire, or rehire
that manager of theirs. He's a character!

Well, gotta go. By the way, sorry about throwing up on your carpet that
time, or times. I hope you receive many presents from Santa, or Hanukkah
Guy, or the Voodoo Man.. and that the coming year is as good as, or better
than, or nothing like the last year.

Love, Alec.

> -----Original Message-----
> From: neil [mailto:neil at TYPOG.CO.UK]
> Sent: Thursday, December 16, 2004 9:19 AM
> Subject: Re: RamaHanuKwanzMas
> ---------------------- Information from the mail header
> -----------------------
> Sender:       American Dialect Society <ADS-L at LISTSERV.UGA.EDU>
> Poster:       neil <neil at TYPOG.CO.UK>
> Subject:      Re: RamaHanuKwanzMas
> --------------------------------------------------------------
> -----------------
> In 2000 I received a Xmas card which bore on the front 'Best
> wishes...'
> Inside was the following:
>   for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low
> stress, non-addictive, gender neutral, winter solstice
> holiday, practised within the most joyous traditions of the
> religious persuasion of your choice, but with respect for the
> religious persuasion of others who choose to practise their
> own religion as well as those who choose not to practise a
> religion at all; plus a fiscally successful, personally
> fulfilling, and medically uncomplicated recognition of the
> generally accepted calendar year 2000, but not without due
> respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures whose
> contributions have helped make our society great, without
> regard to the race, creed, colour, religious, or sexual
> preferences of the wishes.²*
> *Disclaimer: This greeting is subject to clarification or
> withdrawal. It implies no promise by the wisher to actually
> implement any of the wishes for her/ himself or others and no
> responsibility for any unintended emotional stress these
> greetings may bring to those not caught up in the holiday spirit.
> The back bore a graphic of two felled trees, with the
> following statement:
> This card is manufactured from
> illegally imported wood,
> stolen from persecuted Indians
> in a country you¹ve never heard of.
> For every tree cut down at least
> two more are wasted.
> Neil Crawford
> typoG
> Flat A
> 70 Muswell Hill Road
> London
> N10 3JR
> +44 (0)20 8444 1234
> neil at typog.co.uk
> typog at ridgepaperprint.co.uk
> 01245 458675
> on 16/12/04 3:12 pm, David Bowie at db.list at PMPKN.NET wrote:
> > ---------------------- Information from the mail header
> > -----------------------
> > Sender:       American Dialect Society <ADS-L at LISTSERV.UGA.EDU>
> > Poster:       David Bowie <db.list at PMPKN.NET>
> > Subject:      RamaHanuKwanzMas
> >
> --------------------------------------------------------------
> ------------

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