"If you have to ask, you can't afford it" (1926)
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Bapopik at AOL.COM
Sat May 22 02:56:23 UTC 2004
IF YOU HAVE TO ASK + AFFORD--6,020 Google hits, 6,100 Google Groups hits
From an editorial cartoon in AM NEW YORK, May 21-23, 2004, pg. 10:
GAS (seen on the roof of a station--ed.)
(From a sign just outside:--ed.)
PRICE PER GAL
IF YOU HAVE
We've discussed this before, but I don't see it in the archives. Morgan is credited with "If you have to ask..." regarding a yacht, and Louis Armstrong is credited with "If you have to ask..." regarding jazz.
Daily Northwestern - 2/7/1933
...remarked: "Any man who ASKs how much a YACHT costs can't AFFORD one.....to It may have been J. P. MORGAN or someone else equally gilt..
Oshkosh, Wisconsin Tuesday, February 07, 1933 771 k
Zanesville Signal - 6/26/1934
...a. YACHT, that "nobody can AFFORD a YACHT who even has .to think about the.....steam YACHT Elfreda. Has crew of J. P. MORGAN's big black Corsair is most of..
Zanesville, Ohio Tuesday, June 26, 1934 983 k
Indiana Weekly Messenger - 2/20/1936
...But If Philo can't AFFORD to run a YACHT why does he put it overboard? He.....it cost to own a YACHT? Well, J. P. MORGAN once answered that question by..
Indiana, Pennsylvania Thursday, February 20, 1936 792 k
Lima News - 8/26/1938
...TO keep up a yacht: "IF YOU HAVE TO ASK such a question, YOU can't afford.....popular film j teams of recent years, HAVE been j reunited and they will come..
Lima, Ohio Friday, August 26, 1938 1011 k
Pg. 5?, col. 3:
A large yacht costs from half a million dollars upwards, and maintenance runs into five figures yearly--which forms the basis for the elder J. P. Morgan's famous comment, when asked by a friend how much it cost to keep up a yacht: "If you have to ask such a question, you can't afford one."
Mansfield News Journal - 11/13/1949
...orchestra like a yacht? IF YOU HAVE TO ASK how much a yacht will cost, YOU can.....J. P. Morgan once said. IF YOU HAVE TO ASK how much a symphony will cost, YOU..
Mansfield, Ohio Sunday, November 13, 1949 993 k
Nebraska State Journal - 11/15/1949
...orchestra like a yacht? IF YOU HAVE TO ASK how much jgcht will cost, YOU can't.....af_ J. P. Morgan once said. IF TO ASK how much a symphony will cost, YOU..
Lincoln, Nebraska Tuesday, November 15, 1949 636 k
Lowell Sun - 5/23/1953
...who ASKed how much it cost to run a YACHT? "If you have to ASK. don't buy.....and models to find the kind he could AFFORD for the type of pictures he was..
Lowell, Massachusetts Saturday, May 23, 1953 760 k
Gettysburg Times - 9/5/1954
...that if he had to 'ASK what running a YACHT cost, he couldn't AFFORD It.....have changed a good deal since J. P. MORGAN frostily told the fellow..
Gettysburg, Pennsylvania Sunday, September 05, 1954 800 k
(PROQUEST HISTORICAL NEWSPAPERS)
The Wall Street Journal Straws; Paternalistic Exchange Control
Wall Street Journal (1889-Current file). New York, N.Y.: Sep 14, 1926. p. 2 (1 page):
_Can You Afford a Yacht?_
There are two degrees of millionaires: the kind who can afford a yacht, and those who can't. At least that is what the late J. P. Morgan seemed to think. As witness the following:
A banker, who by most people would be considered very wealthy, able to own a town house, a country estate, a hunting lodge, all kinds of automobiles, and several college bredchildren, one day decided he needed only a yacht to round out his possessions. After a bit of investigation he thought he'd better ask the advice of an owner of a yacht, and went to the late J. P. Morgan. "John," he said (that's the kind of banker he was), "do you think I can afford a yacht?" And the answer was:
"If there is any doubt in your mind, you can't."
Almost the Naked Truth
By JAMES S. COLLINS. The Washington Post (1877-1954). Washington, D.C.: Mar 6, 1929. p. 15 (1 page):
His attitude recalls the advice of J. Pierpont Morgan, the elder, once gave a friend who told him he was thinking of buying a yacht.
"I am wondering if I can afford a yacht," he told Morgan. "How much would it cost to maintain one?"
"No man who asks himself that question can afford to own a yacht," replied the master of the Corsair.
SEA-GOING WHITE HOUSE; SEA-GOING WHITE HOUSE
By FRANK L. KLUCKHOHNWASHINGTON.. New York Times (1857-Current file). New York, N.Y.: May 18, 1941. p. SM12 (2 pages)
First page: Thus far there is nothing to differentiate this ship sharply from the yacht of a moderately wealthy individual. To it, certainly, does not apply the dictum attributed to the elder J. P. Morgan, who, when asked by a young friend what it cost to operate a yacht, is reported to have said, "Young man, if you have to ask, don't get one." It cost, however, $60,000 to convert the ship for Presidential use.
Apostle of Swing; Benny Goodman thinks it's on the upbeat, and sets out on tour to test his point.
By GILBERT MILLSTEIN. New York Times (1857-Current file). New York, N.Y.: Apr 19, 1953. p. SM17 (2 pages)
Second page: Like Fats Waller used to say: 'Man, if you have to ask questions about it, don't mess with it.'"
(AMERICAN PERIODICAL SERIES)
The EXPENSE Of YACHTING; THE AMORAITA. THE COLUMBIA.
By LAWRENCE PERRY.. Frank Leslie's Popular Monthly (1876-1904). New York: Aug 1901. Vol. Vol. LII., Iss. No. 4.; p. 0_014 (11 pages)
Secon page: Some years ago, when persons were not as rich in worldy goods as they are now, a man of no small means remarked that he did not see how it were possible for any one, try as he might, to spend more than $100,000 a year. Later this gentleman bought a large steam yacht. It cost him $70,000 or more yearly to run it. History fails to (Third page--ed.) record whether he ever qualified his statement by adding, "Unless he takes to yachting."
(This is also a popular yachting phrase--ed.)
OT: THE ETYMOLOGIST'S YACHT
Every time I arrive home to my studio apartment, my doorman asks: "How many people did you put behind bars today?" The doorman then asked the handyman how much the judge makes an hour.
"$200?" the handyman guessed.
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