Precious Nonsense (1895) ("Hen Reward Beecher" poem)

Bapopik at AOL.COM Bapopik at AOL.COM
Sun Apr 17 07:11:03 UTC 2005


You do an extra search, the computer stops, another ten bucks to Kinko's. Ah
well, thank goodness I make no money and lost everything in the stock market
this week.
...
...
PRECIOUS NONSENSE
by Francis & Newton (Newton Mackintosh)
New York: SImpson & Lyall
1895
(not paginated)
...
There was a young lady of Niger
Who smiled as she rode on a tiger.
They returned from the ride
With the lady inside
And the smile on the face of the tiger.
...
An old lady in Nicaragua
Had her back hair bit off by a jaguar, (Compare with the auto commercial--ed.)
She said to him, "Ha!"
He said to her, "Bah!"
What a vile, artificial old hag you are!
...
There once was an eloquent preacher
Who said to a hen, "You dear creature!"
When she, just for that,
Laid three eggs in his hat.
And thus did the Henry Ward Beecher.
...
(This one is famous. I was searching for "hen" and "eggs" and "Henry Ward
Beecher" when the computer died--ed.)
...
...
KHAKI KOMEDY
by Sergeant-Major Edward D. Rose
Chicago: The Howell Publishing Co.
1918
...
Read it in the spirit in which it is written and remember that our soldier's
own song bids us:
"Pack your troubles in your old kit bag,
And Smile, Smile, Smile."
...
Pg. 16:
I tossed a bomb into the air;
It came to earth right over there;
And when that little bomb it fell
A dozen Fritzies went to Hell.
...
Pg. 19:
WANTED: AN INTERPRETER
A guest ordering his dinner at a fashionable hotel.
"Noodle soup, veal cutlet with tomato sauce and a cream puff."
"Bowl of submarines, camouflage the calf and a custard grenade."



More information about the Ads-l mailing list