Arnold M. Zwicky
zwicky at CSLI.STANFORD.EDU
Mon Nov 28 19:43:58 UTC 2005
the following bit of dialect mockery was posted by mike mckinley on
soc.motss, 11/.23/05. it can be found several places on the web, but
so far no attribution has been found. for for those of you who are
entertained by this sort of thing:
The Association of Southern Schools has decided to pursue some of the
seemingly endless taxpayer dollar pipeline through Washington
designating Southern slang, or y'allbonics, as a
language to be taught in all Southern schools.
The following are excerpts from the Y'allbonics/English dictionary:
HEIDI - (noun) -Greeting.
HIRE YEW - Complete sentence. Remainder of greeting. Usage
"Heidi, Hire yew?"
BARD - (verb) - Past tense of the infinitive "to borrow. "Usage
"My brother bard my pickup truck."
JAWJUH - (noun) - The State north of Florida. Capitol is Lanner.
Usage "My brother from Jawjuh bard my pickup truck."
BAMMER - (noun) - The State west of Jawjuh. Capitol is
Berminhayum. Usage "A tornader jes went through Bammer an' left
$20,000,000 in improvements."
MUNTS - (noun) - A calendar division. Usage "My brother from
Jawjuh bard my pickup truck, and I ain't herd from him in
THANK - (verb) - Cognitive process. Usage "Ah thank ah'll have a
BARE - (noun) - An alcoholic beverage made of barley, hops, and
yeast. Usage "Ah thank ah'll have a bare."
IGNERT - (adjective) - Not smart. See "Arkansas native." Usage
"Them bammer boys sure are ignert!"
RANCH - (noun) - A tool used for tight'nin' bolts. Usage "I
thank I left my ranch in the back of that pickup truck my
brother from Jawjuh bard a few munts ago."
ALL - (noun) - A petroleum-based lubricant. Usage "I sure hope
my brother from Jawjuh puts all in my pickup truck."
FAR - (noun) - A conflagration. Usage "If my brother from Jawjuh
don't change the all in my pickup truck, that thing's gonna
TAR - (noun) - A rubber wheel. Usage "Gee, I hope that brother
of mine from Jawjuh don't git a flat tar in my pickup truck."
TIRE - (noun) - A tall monument. Usage "Lord willin' and the
creek don't rise, I sure do hope to see that Eiffel Tire in
RETARD - (verb) - To stop working. Usage "My grampaw retard at
FAT - (noun), (verb) -- a battle or combat; to engage in battle
or combat. Usage "You younguns keep fat'n, n' ah'm gonna whup
RATS - (noun) - Entitled power or privilege. Usage "We
Southerners are willin' to fat for are rats."
CHEER - (adverb) In this place. Usage "Just set that bare rat
FARN - (adjective) - Not domestic. Usage "I cuddint unnerstand a
wurd he sed ... must be from some farn country."
DID - (adjective) - Not alive. Usage "He's did, Jim."
ARE - (noun) - A colorless, odorless gas Oxygen. Usage "He
cain't breathe...give 'im some ARE!"
BOB WAR - (noun) - A sharp, twisted cable. Usage "Boy, stay away
from that bob war fence."
JEW HERE - (noun) and (verb) contraction. Usage "Jew here that
my brother from Jawjuh got a job with that bob war fence
HAZE - a contraction. Usage "Is Bubba smart?" "Nah...haze
ignert. He ain't thanked but a minnit'n 'is laf."
SEED - (verb) -- past tense of "to see".
VIEW - contraction (verb) and pronoun. Usage "I ain't never seed
New York City ... view?"
GUBMINT - (noun) - A bureaucratic institution. Usage "Them
gubmint boys shore is ignert."
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