"You can't polish a turd"

[Jonathan Lighter]

Accurate or not, the claim that it's an "old Texas expression" may derive from its use in a 1993 episode of _Bevis & Butthead_, created by Mike Judge, famous Texan.  Yet the sedulous Ken Weaver seems not to include it in his admirably glossarial _Texas Crude_ (N.Y.: Dutton, 1984. This is a book all dialectologists should aspire to own, not least for R. Crumb's insightful illuminations of salient entries.

  Maybe the phrase is an "old Maine expression," since it appeared a decade earlier in the film of Stephen King's _Christine_ (screenplay by Stephen King and Bill Philips).  The phrase may also be in King's novel, also published in 1983.

  At any rate, the one-two pop-cult punch of Stephen King and Mike Judge may be chiefly responsible for the startling 45,000 Googlits (plus a few more for "...terd" and ..."tird") associated with this now all-American proverb.

  JL

  Bapopik at AOL.COM wrote:
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Sender: American Dialect Society
Poster: Bapopik at AOL.COM
Subject: "You can't polish a turd"
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I doubt this is an "old Texas saying," but it goes back to at least 1992.
HDAS for "turd"?
...
...
...
(GOOGLE)
_MySA.com: Commentary_
(http://www.mysanantonio.com/opinion/stories/MYSA071606.3H.gurwitz.477fa9.html) - 8:03pm As an old Texas saying goes, you just
can't polish a cow patty. And no matter how DeLay tries to exculpate
himself, the bottom line is this: the Sugar Land ...
www.mysanantonio.com/opinion/www.mysanantonio.com/opinion/stories/MYSA071
606.3H.gu
...
...
_http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Can't+polish+a+turd_
(http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Can't+polish+a+turd)
_http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=you+can't+polish+a+turd_
(http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=you+can't+polish+a+turd)
...
...
(GOOGLE GROUPS)
_Best games of all time_
(http://groups.google.com/group/rec.games.video/browse_thread/thread/fd2374686487a6a5/43769ee170549185?lnk=st&q=&rnum=11&hl=en#4376
9ee170549185) ... most Activision games, though, it's closed-ended; it
stopped being fun once I could
get to 999999 points all the time.) Vanguard 2 : you can't polish a turd.
...
_rec.games.video_
(http://groups.google.com/group/rec.games.video?lnk=sg&hl=en) - Sep 26 1990, 3:11 am by Mark Phaedrus - 42 messages - 32 authors
...
...
(GOOGLE GROUPS)
_Heavy Metal_
(http://groups.google.com/group/bit.listserv.allmusic/browse_thread/thread/84aac320059b935b/1afa350dd34eab5a?lnk=st&q=&rnum=1&hl=en#1afa350dd3
4eab5a) ... Has anyone ever heard the Texas based radio station
Z-ROCK? Yes, Lee has. Seeya,
Gary "You can't polish a terd, you will only get a dirty rag"
_bit.listserv.allmusic_
(http://groups.google.com/group/bit.listserv.allmusic?lnk=sg&hl=en) - Nov 3 1992, 5:29 pm by gmget... at THAMA1.APGEA.ARMY.MIL - 14
messages - 10 authors

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