"Simplified Spelling"

Joel S. Berson Berson at ATT.NET
Tue Apr 22 14:11:18 UTC 2008

the simplified speling bords stand
      4 the shorter and uglier word
they want the old fashund stuf cand
      joshbillingsgate stuf is preferd

and i in the noshun rejoic
      it shud hav bin dun long b4
4 my ego in finding a voic
      is making my cranium sor

i find it a heluva strain
      2 but in2 yor colum by hek
and i think in the end that my brain
      wil telescope in2 my nek

in the small of my bak theres a kink
      and the rapid sukseshin of shocks
is putting my chin on the blink
      and merging my nees with my hocks

but the thing that most hurts me i swear
      is more than a fizical wo
tis the fact that the forid i wear
      is becuming uncomonly lo

i wunc had a brow that was hi
      with the thots in it lofty and wide
but now it sags over my eye
      and theres nothing important in side

heres luk 2 the simplified bord
      may they finish the work theyve begun
my hart with that harts in akord
     my mind and thare minds r as i

April 10, 1916]

The American Dialect Society - http://www.americandialect.org

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