Washington Post Style (Stale) Invitational and neologisms

Garson O'Toole adsgarsonotoole at GMAIL.COM
Thu Feb 3 18:51:08 UTC 2011


Ronald Butters wrote:
> Did this list already get posted here? If so, my apologies.
> I found it delightful.

A partial version of this list was sent to the ADS list in 1999.
Other versions of the list were sent in 2000, 2001 and 2010. Joel
asked about one version that was sent to him:

Joel S. Berson wrote on 27 May 2010
> Recently sent to me is the following alleged winners' list from the
> Washington Post yearly neologism contest.  However, I find in a
> message in the ADS-L archives from 9 Feb 2001
> --Subject: Neologisms
> -- ten of the same words.*  What's going round --

Periodically a list like this "goes viral". The introduction to the
list and the list of words are sometimes altered. The name of the
contest varies, e.g., "Style Invitational" or "Mensa Invitational". I
think the actual title for one of the relevant contests was the "Stale
Invitational" and it was part of the "Style Invitational". Stale was
created by changing one letter of Style. This contest was based on
generating a new word by changing one letter. A contest announcement
appeared 1998 July 12:

The Style Invitational; Week 278: The Stale Invitational:
The Washington Post [Washington, D.C] 12 July 1998: pp. F02. (ProQuest)

The results of the contest for Week 278 were published during Week 281
on 1998 August 2:

The Stool Invitational; Week 281: Calculate the Odds:
The Washington Post [Washington, D.C] 02 Aug 1998: pp. F02. (ProQuest)

...
Report from week 278:

in which you were asked to take any word from the dictionary, alter it
by adding, subtracting, or changing a letter, and supply a new
definition.

Fifth Runner-Up: Foreploy: any misrepresentation about yourself for
the purpose of obtaining sex. (Greg Oetjen, Lorton)

Fourth Runner-Up: Fortissimoe: the musical moment produced when
someone serially slaps the faces of the first-violin section. (Jean
Sorensen, Herndon)

Third Runner-Up: Tatyr: a lecherous Mr. Potato Head. (Chuck Smith, Woodbridge)

Second Runner-Up: Doltergeist: a spirit that decides to haunt
someplace stupid, such as your septic tank. (David Genser, Arlington)

First Runner-Up: Giraffiti: vandalism spray-painted very, very high,
such as the famous "Surrender Dorothy" on the Beltway overpass. (Robin
D. Grove, Arlington)

And the winner of the two-foot-high baby bottle:

Sarchasm: the gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and

the recipient who doesn't get it. (Tom Witte, Gaithersburg)

Honorable Mentions:

Necronancy: communication with the late Ernie Bushmiller. (Chuck
Smith, Woodbridge)

Contratemps: the resentment permanent workers feel toward the fill-in workers.

(Kevin Mellema, Falls Church)

Coiterie: a very very close-knit group.

(Jonathan Paul, Garrett Park)

Whitetater: a political hot potato.

(Art Grinath, Takoma Park)

Impotience: eager anticipation by men awaiting their Viagra
prescription. (Meg Sullivan, Potomac)

Elepants: too-tight jeans on broad-beamed people. (Steve Fahey, Kensington)

Lollapalooka: someone who has taken one too many turns in the mosh
pit. (Philip Delduke, Bethesda)

Auto-da-feh: the extermination of heretics via drowning in a vat of
pus. (Jonathan Paul, Garrett Park)

Stupfather: Woody Allen. (Tom Witte, Gaithersburg)

Reintarnation: coming back to life as a hillbilly. (Barry Blyveis, Columbia)

DIOS: the one true operating system.

(Tom Witte, Gaithersburg)

Inoculatte: to take coffee intravenously when you are running late.
(Chuck Smith, Woodbridge)

Thripp: a bug. (Bee Perrin, Washington)

Hipatitis: terminal coolness. (Tom Witte, Gaithersburg)

Writer's tramp: a woman who practices poetic licentiousness. (Meg
Sullivan, Potomac)

Goodzilla: a giant lizard that puts out forest fires by stamping on
them. (Sandra Hull, Arlington)

Taterfamilias: the head of the Potato Head family. (Chuck Smith, Woodbridge)

Guillozine: a magazine for executioners.

(Barry Blyveis, Columbia)

Osteopornosis: a degenerate disease.

(Sandra Hull, Arlington)

Adulatery: cheating on one's wife with a much younger woman who holds
you in awe.

(Joseph Romm, Washington)

Suckotash: a dish consisting of corn, lima beans and tofu. (Russ
Beland, Springfield)

Emasculathe: a tool for castration.

(Steve Fahey, Kensington)

Sata: a mythical being who brings toys to bad children. (Tom Witte,
Gaithersburg)

Burglesque: a poorly planned break-in.

(See: Watergate) (Jennifer Hart, Arlington)

Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really
bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like a
serious bummer. (Meg Sullivan, Potomac)

Genitaliar: an image-enhancing object that can be carried in a man's
front pocket.

(Jonathan Paul, Garrett Park)

Glibido: all talk and no action. (Tom Witte, Gaithersburg)

Antifun gal: a prude. (Elden Carnahan, Laurel)

Vaseball: a game of catch played by children in the living room. (Russ
Beland, Springfield)

Eunouch: the pain of castration.

(Jonathan Paul, Garrett park)

Hindkerchief: really expensive toilet paper; toilet paper at Buckingham Palace.

(Dave Zarrow, Herndon)

Deifenestration: to throw all talk of God out the window. (Paul
Kondis, Alexandria)

Hozone: the area around 14th Street.

(Stephen Dudzik, Silver Spring)

Acme: a generic skin disease. (Sandra Hull, Arlington)

Dopeler effect: the tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they
come at you rapidly. (Greg Oetjen, Lorton)

Hindprint: indentation made by a couch potato. (Dave Zarrow, Herndon)

Intaxication: euphoria at getting a refund from the IRS, which lasts
until you realize it was your money to start with. (Greg Oetjen,
Lorton)

On Thu, Feb 3, 2011 at 11:18 AM, Ronald Butters <RonButters at aol.com> wrote:
> ---------------------- Information from the mail header -----------------------
> Sender:       American Dialect Society <ADS-L at LISTSERV.UGA.EDU>
> Poster:       Ronald Butters <RonButters at AOL.COM>
> -------------------------------------------------------------------------------
>
> Did this list already get posted here? If so, my apologies. I found it =
> delightful.
>
>> The Washington Post's Mensa Invitational once again invited readers to =
> take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or =
> changing one letter, and supply a new definition. =20
>>=20
>> Here are the winners: =20
>>   =20
>> 1. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the =
> subject financially impotent for an indefinite period of time.=20
>>  =20
>> 2 Ignoranus : A person who's both stupid and an asshole.=20
>>   =20
>> 3. Intaxicaton : Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until =
> you realize it was your money to start with.=20
>>   =20
>> 4. Reintarnation : Coming back to life as a hillbilly.=20
>>   =20
>> 5. Bozone ( n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops =
> bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows =
> little sign of breaking down in the near future. =20
>>  =20
>> 6. Foreploy : Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of =
> getting laid. =20
>>   =20
>> 7. Giraffiti : Vandalism spray-painted very, very high. =20
>>   =20
>> 8. Sarchasm : The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the =
> person who doesn't get it.=20
>>   =20
>> 9. Inoculatte : To take coffee intravenously when you are running =
> late.=20
>>   =20
>> 10. Osteopornosis : A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)=20=
>
>>   =20
>> 11. Karmageddon : It's like, when everybody is sending off all these =
> really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's =
> like, a serious bummer. =20
>>   =20
>> 12. Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day =
> consuming only things that are good for you.=20
>>   =20
>> 13. Glibido : All talk and no action. =20
>>   =20
>> 14. Dopeler Effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when =
> they come at you rapidly. =20
>>   =20
>> 15. Arachnoleptic Fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after =
> you've accidentally walked through a  spider web.=20
>>   =20
>> 16. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into =
> your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.=20
>>   =20
>> 17. Caterpallor ( n.): The color you turn after finding half a worm in =
> the fruit you're eating.
>> =20
>> =20
>> The Washington Post has also published the winning submissions to its =
> yearly contest, in which readers are asked to supply alternate meanings =
> for common words.=20
>>   =20
>> And the winners are:=20
>>=20
>> 1. Coffee, n. The person upon whom one coughs. =20
>>   =20
>> 2. Flabbergasted, adj. Appalled by discovering how much weight one has =
> gained. =20
>>   =20
>> 3.  Abdicate, v. To give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.=20
>>   =20
>> 4. Esplanade, v. To attempt an explanation while drunk.=20
>>   =20
>> 5. Willy-nilly, adj. Impotent. =20
>>   =20
>> 6. Negligent, adj. Absentmindedly answering the door when wearing only =
> a nightgown.=20
>>   =20
>> 7. Lymph, v. To walk with a lisp.=20
>>   =20
>> 8. Gargoyle, n. Olive-flavored mouthwash.=20
>>   =20
>> 9. Flatulence, n. Emergency vehicle that picks up someone who has been =
> run over by a steamroller.=20
>>   =20
>> 10. Balderdash, n. A rapidly receding hairline.=20
>>   =20
>> 11. Testicle, n. A humorous question on an exam. =20
>>   =20
>> 12. Rectitude, n. The formal, dignified bearing adopted by =
> proctologists. =20
>>   =20
>> 13. Pokemon, n. A Rastafarian proctologist.=20
>>=20
>> 14. Oyster, n. A person who sprinkles his conversation with =
> Yiddishisms. =20
>>   =20
>> 15. Frisbeetarianism, n. The belief that, after death, the soul flies =
> up onto the roof and gets stuck there.=20
>>   =20
>> 16. Circumvent, n. An opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by =
> Jewish men.
>
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>

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