Another immaculate conception

Wilson Gray hwgray at GMAIL.COM
Sat May 18 09:02:23 UTC 2013

On Sat, May 18, 2013 at 1:22 AM, Benjamin Barrett <gogaku at>

> 892&I=3D-3&X=3D0B5885737CEF3FC2B4, people often misunderstand
> what "immaculate conception" means. (The virgin conception of Mary being =
> included in the term "virgin birth" is not transparent.)

"people often misunderstand what 'immaculate conception' means."

True, but it's not meant to be understood by random "people," though it's
not Masonically "secret" or anything. It's Catholic in-group jargon and we
know what it means.

"The virgin conception of Mary being included in the term 'virgin birth' is
not transparent."

This sentence isn't transparent, either. I don't know what's meant by "the
virgin conception of Mary" and "virgin birth has nothing to do with the
Immaculate Conception, a concept that became a necessary part of Catholic
mythology only in 1854, when Pope Pius IX, speaking _ex cathedra_ and,
hence, by definition, infallibly, said, in effect, that God "had chosen" -
so to speak, WRT to tense, since God is in no sense bound by any known
human concept of "time" - to create a soul without original sin - hence, an
"immaculate" soul - for the first time since Adam and Eve. This decision
was motivated by God's will to have His Son gestated in a pure vessel, one
"conceived without (original) sin." In no Catholic sense is fucking in and
of itself any kind of sin or in any way "unclean" - if the couple are [for
some reason, _couple_ is plural in my lexicon] married "in the eyes of God"
and not necessarily in the eyes of the Catholic Church. The Immaculate
Conception refers only to the "fact" - in the Catholic-theological sense -
that, at Mary's conception, God infused her zygote with a soul was without
the stain of original sin from the BE-ginnin. Therefore, she clearly had no
need of the yet-to-be invented sacrament of Baptism in order that her soul
be cleansed of original sin.

The first time that this problem of how to get the Son of God into a human
vessel worthy of His Presence popped into some proto-Catholic's mind, he
must have freaked! As we see, it took nearly two millennia for a Pope to
become fully persuaded that the Church, finally, truly *knew* how God had
done it and that it had to be, therefore, made a necessary part of the
belief-system of Christian - read "Catholic" - theology and had to be
proclaimed as such "to the (Catholic, like there's some other!) Church and
to the world" by the Pope, speaking infallibly "from the Chair" of St.

Four years later, Catholicism got irrefutable proof that the Church had
*nailed* it - nothing but net! - when Mary herself appeared to a Bearnese
peasant-girl, Maria-Bernarda "Bernadeta" Sobirós, and spoke to that girl in
her own language - the native tongue of Henri V de Navarre - saying,

_Que sòi era Imaculada Concepcion_ "[Que] I-am the Immaculate Conception"

This statement is so important that, amazingly, given that it's been the
stated policy of the French government to extinguish *all* regional
languages, it's allowed to remain in the original language, though
expressed in French eye-phonetics:

_Que soy era Immaculada Councepciou_

The _n_ of the original is phonetically [N], but there's no way to weite
that in French without a following segmental symbol.

The "virgin-birth" bit is a different matter, altogether. It's like
somebody unnecessarily began to ponder the situation - and, IMO,
unnecessary thinking is the cause of much baseless modification - coming up
with something like,

"We all agree that, since the Christ was begotten on Mary of the Holy
Spirit, and not the old-fashioned way, the conception of Jesus necessarily
did *not* entail loss of her *physical* virginity, right? Now, wouldn't it
be *really* cool, if even the *birth* of Jesus didn't entail the loss of
her physical virginity, *either*?! Think about it! Not *only* virgin
*conception*, but *also* virgin *birth*! That kicks ASS! It's dy-no-MITE!"

"Well, for one thing, what about the Nicaean Creed, which encapsulates our
core beliefs? You know, like, 'true God *and* true *man*'? How can a *true*
man be born of woman and she stays a physical virgin?"

"But it *also* says 'Mary, *ever* virgin.' How about *that*?"

"Aw, man, that just means that *Joseph* wan't getting any! He prefigured
the Catholic priesthood, subordinating the natural desire to get him some
to the will of God. You BIN knowing that! Or, maybe he had a chick on the
side. You never know. That would explain those "brothers." Besides, we
don't need post-natal virginity for anything. We already got game."


The Immaculate Conception is the patron-saint of the United States.

How do patron-saints differ from polytheism? By being "defined* as not

All say, "How hard it is that we have to die!"---a strange complaint to
come from the mouths of people who have had to live.
-Mark Twain

The American Dialect Society -

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