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<DIV><FONT size=2>The following was sent to me by a chief surgical resident of a
Manhattan hospital:</FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT size=2><BR>boxed: v died rapidly "that jumper boxed up a
storm"<BR><BR>bagged: v to shoot someone in the lower abdomen in order to cause
an injury requiring a colostomy, reportedly an L.A. usage<BR><BR>malkarmagenize:
v to create bad karma; "he malkarmagenized us by wishing us an easy night on
call, now all hell's going to break loose -that malkarmagenizer!"<BR><BR>bus: n
ambulance "that guy barfed (bled, defecated, exploded) all over the
bus"<BR><BR>shake and bake: adj to have a high fever, alt. early alcohol
withdrawal<BR><BR>suck-cut: n from Wayne's World, liposuction<BR><BR>carriage
trade: n having practice restricted to wealthy patients<BR><BR>chits: n short
for chitlins, small intestines "that guy had his chits hanging out!"<BR><BR>code
master: n one who excels at bringing people back from cardiac
arrest<BR><BR>trauma mama: n female chief resident who excels at trauma
surgery<BR><BR>lock in: adj refers ICU on-call where the resident cannot leave
the ICU<BR><BR>medatrons: n residents in the department of medicine, friendly
confreres of surgeons<BR><BR>turf: v to transfer the patient to another service
(usually the department of medicine)<BR><BR>placement: n disposition of the
patient, often very difficult in the case of the homeless, unethically solved
with a turf<BR><BR>HMO+: adj state of being covered by a bad health maintenance
organization and likely to suffer because of it, like being
HIV+.<BR><BR>flamethrower: n Bovie electrocautery, a device that coagulates
blood and tissue with alternating electrical current<BR><BR>extra crispy: adj
highest setting on electrocautery (electric scalpel)<BR><BR>stun: adj lightest
effective setting on the electrocautery "set the Bovie on stun."<BR><BR>FMG's: n
foreign medical graduates, needed to fill vacant residency positions not filled
by US graduates<BR><BR>circle jerk: n attendings calling on unnecessary
consultations from friends in other specialties when the diagnosis is clear; alt
usage, calling numerous consults for medicolegal reasons<BR><BR>W.O.F.F.: abbr
will operate for food, surgical resident's status in life<BR><BR>Tubes and
Fingers in Every Hole: phr essential part of trauma
resuscitation<BR><BR>Surgical Nutrition Rounds: n lunch or dinner, usually
announced over PA<BR><BR>troll: n intern<BR><BR>punt: v delay, "Let's punt, get
a medicine consult."; alt a synonym for turf<BR><BR>WHMO: n HMO on-hold music on
speakerphone for the enjoyment of the ward<BR><BR>Preparation-H: adj state of
having attended Harvard college, medical school, and residency at a
Harvard-affiliated hospital, used by people in Boston or by people who hate
Boston, ie just about everyone<BR><BR>Cipro slut, Fluconazole floozy,
Bristol-Mayer babe, etc: n mini-skirt clad female drug company
representative<BR><BR>doing my job: v lying to HMO's about the severity of a
patient's condition to get a medically indicated procedure, medication, or test
approved<BR><BR>New York thing: n a condition particular to New York where
doctors (and sometimes patients, sadly) have to beg and plead to non-medical
hospital staff to get things done; "I had to grovel to housekeeping to get that
patient's vomit mopped up... it's a New York thing."; there is also a Boston
thing. <BR><BR>Hillaried: adj rhymes with pilloried, when something popular and
sensible is made unpalatable by the personage championing it<BR><BR>bisque: n
pus that looks (and smells) like bisque, var salmon bisque, lobster
bisque<BR><BR>chowder: n thick creamy pus that looks like chowder because it's
chunky<BR><BR>minestrone: n chunky, more liquified reddish pus that looks like
minestrone<BR><BR>seize: v from seizure, literally having a seizure, feel
exhilaration and elation, "Haag seized when he found out we were letting him
have this weekend off."<BR><BR><BR>W.S. Michael Park, MD<BR>Chief
Resident<BR>Dept of Surgery<BR>in some hospital in
Manhattan<BR><BR></DIV></FONT></BODY></HTML>