<html><head></head><BODY bgcolor="#FFFFFF"><p><font size=2 color="#000000" face="Arial">great poem!<br>Susan<br><br>----------<br>> From: Kim & Rima McKinzey <<font color="#0000FF"><u>rkm@SLIP.NET</u><font color="#000000">><br>> To: <font color="#0000FF"><u>ADS-L@LISTSERV.UGA.EDU</u><font color="#000000"><br>> Subject: Poetry?<br>> Date: Tuesday, December 28, 1999 2:29 AM<br>> <br>> Got this from a friend. Now don't go and quibble about some of the terms -<br>> or some of the rhymes - or some of his attitude, but he certainly spent<br>> some time on it. Rima<br>> <br>> Pack It In!<br>> <br>> By Geoff Nunberg<br>> Language Commentary, "Fresh Air," (Nat. Public Radio)<br>> December 20, 1999<br>> <br>> <br>> Before we start on the carousin'<br>> <br>> On the eve of year two thousan',<br>> <br>> Let's clean out our linguistic closets<br>> <br>> Of their detritus and deposits,<br>> <br>> The babble, balderdash, and bugs<br>> <br>> That rankle underneath the rugs<br>> <br>> With solecisms, slang, and slag,<br>> <br>> And sweep it all into a bag.<br>> <br>> Then, as the afternoon gets late,<br>> <br>> Let's gather on the Golden Gate,<br>> <br>> And with one stroke, bold and defiant,<br>> <br>> Make English Y2K compliant.<br>> <br>> <br>> Let's clear out our congested cargo<br>> <br>> Of business cant and corporate argot.<br>> <br>> We'll ditch proactive for a starter,<br>> <br>> And "We don't work harder, just work smarter"<br>> <br>> <br>> <br>> <br>> Lose sight of visions, goals and missions,<br>> <br>> And pitch out value propositions.<br>> <br>> Synergistic or synergetic? --<br>> <br>> Either one gives me a headache,<br>> <br>> And the concept of convergence<br>> <br>> Is in need of some submergence.<br>> <br>> Consign restructure to the void,<br>> <br>> And downsize should be redeployed.<br>> <br>> At least, the next time we get canned,<br>> <br>> We'll know exactly where we stand.<br>> <br>> <br>> Let's lose "win-win," that favorite phrase<br>> <br>> Of all the Harvard MBA's,<br>> <br>> And cast on the outgoing tide<br>> <br>> The box they like to think outside,<br>> <br>> In hopes that in the coming age,<br>> <br>> We'll all be on a different page.<br>> <br>> <br>> It wasn't very long ago<br>> <br>> The Internet was comme il faut,<br>> <br>> And only the most avant-garde<br>> <br>> Had @-signs on their business card.<br>> <br>> But now that even aunt Estelle<br>> <br>> Has got herself a url,<br>> <br>> And Vinnie at the barber shop<br>> <br>> Made millions on his first-day pop,<br>> <br>> We've reached the point where talking geekish<br>> <br>> Is starting to sound so last weekish.<br>> <br>> Emoticon and digerati<br>> <br>> Aren't worth a wooden zloty.<br>> <br>> To portal we can give the gate,<br>> <br>> Mindshare will do for tuna bait,<br>> <br>> And since you asked, IMHO,<br>> <br>> Those email acronyms should go.<br>> <br>> <br>> And ere the sun sets, let us jettison<br>> <br>> Newbie, netiquette, and netizen,<br>> <br>> Nor should we miss this opportunity<br>> <br>> To deep-six "virtual community,"<br>> <br>> e-this, i-that, and without qualm,<br>> <br>> Let's unplug everything.com.<br>> <br>> <br>> On literary critics' patois<br>> <br>> I think we must declare a fatwah;<br>> <br>> It's hard to part with hegemonic,<br>> <br>> But in the end you'll find it tonic.<br>> <br>> Think how much groovier texts are rendered<br>> <br>> When they're just sexed instead of gendered,<br>> <br>> And curling up at bedtime, who wants<br>> <br>> To be holding something nuanced?<br>> <br>> <br>> Of that chic expression "pomo,"<br>> <br>> I'd just as soon that we heard no mo',<br>> <br>> Nor any others of the host<br>> <br>> Of vocables prefixed with post-.<br>> <br>> We seem to be, for all our fears,<br>> <br>> Still modern after all these years.<br>> <br>> <br>> I'm sure that ages hence will honor us<br>> <br>> If we stop cooking up new genres,<br>> <br>> Let's spare the coming centuries<br>> <br>> Prequels and rockumentaries,<br>> <br>> And pause not even for a comma<br>> <br>> Before discarding "docudrama."<br>> <br>> And ere the clock chimes, let us vow<br>> <br>> That critics twenty years from now<br>> <br>> Will earn themselves an instant wedgie<br>> <br>> Whenever they use "taut" or "edgy."<br>> <br>> <br>> Before we can put on our nightcaps,<br>> <br>> We've other words to feed the whitecaps:<br>> <br>> Let's leave off calling rumors "buzz,"<br>> <br>> And blow off anyone who does.<br>> <br>> "Wake up call" has gotten thin --<br>> <br>> Next year we'll all be sleeping in.<br>> <br>> And anything you feel like sharing<br>> <br>> Kindly offer to the herring.<br>> <br>> <br>> And as we're chucking out the dross,<br>> <br>> Make sure we don't neglect to toss<br>> <br>> Those interjections, coy and clever --<br>> <br>> Like "Let's not go there," and "whatever!"<br>> <br>> (And while we're at it, do I gotta<br>> <br>> Even mention "yadda yadda"?)<br>> <br>> Arrivederci to "ExCUSE me";<br>> <br>> You simply no longer amuse me.<br>> <br>> Farewell to "Duh!," and, apropos,<br>> <br>> Let's say buh-bye now to "hellO?"<br>> <br>> <br>> Now as we watch the century go out,<br>> <br>> There's only one more thing to throw out:<br>> <br>> Let's cast onto the coastal shelf<br>> <br>> The word millennium itself<br>> <br>> (I'm glad to bid that one adieu --<br>> <br>> The fact is that I never knew<br>> <br>> If it should have one n or two.)<br>> <br>> <br>> And as night falls on the Presidio,<br>> <br>> Let's all go home and watch a video,<br>> <br>> To pass the century's final hour<br>> <br>> (That is, assuming we've got power).<br>> <br>> <br>> <br>> END</p>
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