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<div>Just got this from my Texan father-in-law. Rima</div>
<div><br></div>
<blockquote type="cite" cite><font
face="Arial"
> <u
><b> "Southern Heritage" Shared by a True California
Southerner</b></u></font></blockquote>
<blockquote type="cite" cite><font face="Arial" color="#000000"><br>
It is always important to visit one's roots and
recall the things which live on forever. The Southern heritage is a
rich blend of life like no other culture you can find...especially
when looking at the influence on women in society. This is probably
why I ended up with a westerner. I felt compelled this morning to
share some of this heritage with my dearest friends. I want you all to
now this comes with blessing your hearts!<br>
This is for<b> Southern
Belles,</b> Ladies who should have been Southern Belles, and<br>
those who would be Southern Belles IF they knew the rules. Someone
once noted that a Southerner can get away with the most awful kind of
insult just as long as it's prefaced with the words,<u><i> "Bless
her heart" or "Bless his heart." </i></u> As in,
"Bless his heart, if they put his brain on the head of a pin,
it'd roll around like a BB on a six lane highway." Or,
"Bless her heart, she's so buck- toothed, she could eat an apple
through a picket fence." There are also the sneakier ones:
"You know, it's amazing<br>
that even though she had that baby 7 months after they were married,
bless<br>
her heart, it weighed 10 pounds." As long as the heart is
sufficiently<br>
blessed, the insult can't be all that bad.<br>
<br>
I was thinking about this the other day when a friend was telling
about her new<br>
transplanted<b> Northern friend</b> who was upset because her toddler
is just<br>
beginning to talk and he has a Southern<i> accent</i>. My friend, who
is very kind<br>
and, bless her heart, cannot do a thing about those thighs of hers,
was<br>
justifiably miffed about this. After all, this woman had CHOSEN to
move to the<br>
South a couple of years ago. "Can you believe it?" said her
friend. "A child of<br>
mine is going to be 'taaaallllkkin liiiike thiiiissss.."<br>
<br>
Now, don't get me wrong. Some of my dearest friends are from the north
and other parts of this big place, bless their hearts. I welcome their
perspective, their friendships and their recipes for authentic
Northern Italian food. I've even gotten past their endless complaints
that you can't find good bread down here. And the heathens, bless
their hearts, don't like<b> cornbread!<br>
</b><br>
The ones that really gore my ox are the native Southerners who have
begun to<br>
act<u> almost embarrassed</u> about their speech. We've already lost
too much. I was<br>
raised to say<b> "swanee,"</b> not swear, but you hardly
ever hear anyone say that<br>
anymore, I swanee you don't.<br>
<br>
And I've caught myself thinking twice before saying something is<b>
"right<br>
much," "right close," or "right good"</b>
because non-natives think this is right<br>
funny indeed. I have a friend from Bawston who thinks it's hilarious
when I say<br>
I've got to<i> "carry"</i> my daughter to the doctor or<i>
"cut off"</i> the light. She also<br>
gets a giggle everytime I am<u> "fixin'"</u> to do
something. And, bless their hearts,<br>
they don't even know where<b> "over yonder"</b> is or
what<b> "I reckon"</b> means!<br>
<br>
My personal favorite was my Aunt Faye, saying, "Bless her heart,
she can't help<br>
being ugly, but she could've stayed home, Don't you reckon."<br>
<br>
To those of us who're still a little embarrassed by our Southerness:
...take<br>
a dose of<b> sausage gravy 'n' grits</b> and call me in the morning,
bless your heart!<br>
And to those of you who are still having a hard time understanding all
this<br>
Southern stuff, bless your hearts, I hear they're fixin' to have
classes on<br>
<b>Southernese</b> as a second language! It is so much fun pretending
to be somebody you ain't!<br>
<br>
Now, let,s review a few things that will help you understand the
southern heritage , from an insiders viewpoint.<br>
<br>
Southern girls know<b> bad manners</b> when they see them:<br>
Drinking straight out of a can.<br>
Not sending thank you notes.<br>
Velvet after February.<br>
White shoes before Easter or after Labor
Day.<br>
<br>
Southern girls appreciate their<b> natural assets</b>:<br>
Dewy skin.<br>
A winning smile.<br>
That unforgettable, Southern drawl.<br>
<br>
Southern girls know their<b> manners</b>:<br>
"Yes, ma'am."</font></blockquote>
<blockquote type="cite" cite><font face="Arial"
color="#000000"> "Yes, sir."<br>
<br>
Southern girls have a distinct way with<b> fond expressions</b>:<br>
"Y'all come back! now ya
heaah,"<br>
"Well, bless your heart."<br>
"Drop by when you can."<br>
"How's your mother?"<br>
"Love your hair."<br>
"Well, shut my mouth."<br>
<br>
Southern girls<b> don't sweat....they<i> glisten</i>!<br>
</b><br>
Southern girls know their<b> summer weather</b> report:<br>
Humidity<br>
Humidity<br>
Humidity<br>
<br>
Southern girls know their<b> three R's!</b>:<br>
Rich<br>
Richer<br>
Richest<br>
<br>
Southern girls know their<b> vacation spots</b>:<br>
The Beach<br>
The Beach<br>
The Beach<br>
<br>
Southern girls know the<b> joys of June, July, and Augus</b>t:<br>
Swimmin<br>
Summer tans<br>
Wide brimmed hats<br>
Mint juleps<br>
Just Lollygaggin Around<br>
<br>
Southern girls know everybody's<b> first name</b>:<br>
Honey<br>
Darlin'<br>
Sugah<br>
<br>
Southern girls know the<b> movies</b><u><i> that speak to their
hearts:</i></u><br>
"Gone With the Wind"<br>
"Fried Green Tomatoes"<br>
"Driving Miss Daisy"<br>
"Steel Magnolias"<br>
<br>
Southern girls know their country<b> breakfasts</b>:<br>
Red-eye gravy, thicknin white gravy (wiennie
gravy for the die-hard)<br>
GRITS-GRITS-GRITS,<br>
Mouth-watering homemade buttered biscuits
with<br>
Cantalope, Honey Dew Melons, and Streak 'O'
Lean.<br>
<br>
Southern girls know their<b> cities</b><i> dripping with Southern
charm:</i><br>
Hotlanta or Adlanna =(Atlanta as outsiders
say)<br>
Richmon<br>
Challston<br>
S'vannah<br>
Birminham<br>
Nawlins'<br>
OH! And that city in Alabama? It's pronounced
MUNTGUMRY!<br>
<br>
Southern girls know their elegant<b> gentlemen</b>:<br>
Men in uniform.<br>
Men in tuxedos.<br>
Rhett Butler, of course.<br>
<br>
Y'all know Southern girls are quick on the drawl.<br>
<br>
Southern girls know their prime real estate:<br>
The Mall<br>
The Beauty Salon9 My Aunt Faye has one of the
finest in Raleigh)<br>
The Ranch with the longest stretch of river
bottom<br>
<br>
Southern girls know the<b> three deadly sins</b>:<br>
Bad hair ( My Aunt Faye is a beautician, she
knows how to pick the right job)<br>
Bad manners<br>
Bad blind dates<br>
<br>
Southern girls know men may come and go,<br>
...........but friends are fo'evah!<br>
<br>
<u><b>G.R.I.T.S</b></u>. = Girls Raised in The South!<br>
<br>
Well, I hope you have truly
enjoyed this "sharing time". I have truly appreciated this
opportunity to recall what Southerh Heritage means to me. It shall
live on forever if it is shared.<br>
<br>
Now you run along, Sugah, and send this to someone else Raised In The
South,<br>
i.e., Southern Belles, or ANY females aspiring to be GRITS. Even
the northern</font></blockquote>
<blockquote type="cite" cite><font face="Arial" color="#000000">ones,
"Bless Their Hearts".</font></blockquote>
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