[Lexicog] New stock market terms

[Fritz Goerling]

NEW STOCK MARKET TERMS

 

 CEO - Chief Embezzlement Officer.

 

 CFO - Corporate Fraud Officer.

 

 BULL MARKET -- A random market movement causing an investor to  

 mistake himself for a financial genius.

 

 BEAR MARKET -- A 6 to 18  month period when the kids get no allowance, 

 the wife gets no jewelry, and  the husband gets no sex.

 

 VALUE INVESTING -- The art of buying low and selling lower.

 

 P/E RATIO -- The percentage of investors wetting their pants as the 

 market keeps crashing.

 

 BROKER -- What my broker has made me.

 

 STANDARD & POOR -- Your life in a nutshell.

 

 STOCK  ANALYST -- Idiot who just downgraded your stock.

 

 STOCK SPLIT -- When  your ex-wife and her lawyer split your assets 

 equally between  themselves.

 

 FINANCIAL PLANNER -- A guy whose phone has been disconnected.

 

 MARKET CORRECTION -- The day after you buy stocks.

 

 CASH FLOW-- The movement your money makes as it disappears down the toilet.

 

 YAHOO -- What you yell after selling it to some poor sucker for $240 

 per share.

 

 WINDOWS -- What you jump out of when you're the  sucker who bought 

 Yahoo @ $240 per share.

 

 INSTITUTIONAL INVESTOR --  Past year investor who's now locked up in a 

 nuthouse.

 

 PROFIT -- An  archaic word no longer in  use.

 

 

 

 

 

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