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<TITLE>Gender: Crazy English and the awful German language</TITLE>
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<P ALIGN=LEFT><SPAN LANG="en-us"><FONT FACE="Arial">In Richard Lederer</FONT></SPAN><SPAN LANG="en-us"><FONT FACE="Arial">’</FONT></SPAN><SPAN LANG="en-us"><FONT FACE="Arial">s</FONT></SPAN><SPAN LANG="en-us"> <FONT FACE="Arial">“</FONT></SPAN><SPAN LANG="en-us"><FONT FACE="Arial">Crazy English</FONT></SPAN><SPAN LANG="en-us"><FONT FACE="Arial">”</FONT></SPAN><SPAN LANG="en-us"><FONT FACE="Arial"></FONT></SPAN><SPAN LANG="en-us"> <FONT FACE="Arial">)(Pocket Books, New York) </FONT></SPAN></P>
<P ALIGN=LEFT><SPAN LANG="en-us"><FONT FACE="Arial">the author wonders:</FONT></SPAN><SPAN LANG="en-us"></SPAN></P>
<P ALIGN=LEFT><SPAN LANG="en-us"><FONT FACE="Arial">“</FONT></SPAN><SPAN LANG="en-us"><FONT FACE="Arial">Why is it that a woman can man a station but a man can</FONT></SPAN><SPAN LANG="en-us"><FONT FACE="Arial">’</FONT></SPAN><SPAN LANG="en-us"><FONT FACE="Arial">t</FONT></SPAN></P>
<P ALIGN=LEFT><SPAN LANG="en-us"><FONT FACE="Arial">woman one, that a man can father a movement but a woman </FONT></SPAN></P>
<P ALIGN=LEFT><SPAN LANG="en-us"><FONT FACE="Arial">can</FONT></SPAN><SPAN LANG="en-us"><FONT FACE="Arial">’</FONT></SPAN><SPAN LANG="en-us"><FONT FACE="Arial">t mother one, and that a king rules a kingdom but a queen</FONT></SPAN></P>
<P ALIGN=LEFT><SPAN LANG="en-us"><FONT FACE="Arial">doesn</FONT></SPAN><SPAN LANG="en-us"><FONT FACE="Arial">’</FONT></SPAN><SPAN LANG="en-us"><FONT FACE="Arial">t rule a queendom? How did all those Renaissance men </FONT></SPAN></P>
<P ALIGN=LEFT><SPAN LANG="en-us"><FONT FACE="Arial">reproduce when there don</FONT></SPAN><SPAN LANG="en-us"><FONT FACE="Arial">’</FONT></SPAN><SPAN LANG="en-us"><FONT FACE="Arial">t seem to have been any Renaissance</FONT></SPAN></P>
<P ALIGN=LEFT><SPAN LANG="en-us"><FONT FACE="Arial">women.</FONT></SPAN><SPAN LANG="en-us"><FONT FACE="Arial">”</FONT></SPAN><SPAN LANG="en-us"><FONT FACE="Arial"></FONT></SPAN><SPAN LANG="en-us"> </SPAN></P>
<P ALIGN=LEFT><SPAN LANG="en-us"><FONT FACE="Arial">Concerning</FONT></SPAN><SPAN LANG="en-us"> <FONT FACE="Arial">German he refers to Mark Twain</FONT></SPAN><SPAN LANG="en-us"><FONT FACE="Arial">’</FONT></SPAN><SPAN LANG="en-us"><FONT FACE="Arial">s essay</FONT></SPAN><SPAN LANG="en-us"> <FONT FACE="Arial">“</FONT></SPAN><SPAN LANG="en-us"><FONT FACE="Arial">The Awful German</FONT></SPAN></P>
<P ALIGN=LEFT><SPAN LANG="en-us"><FONT FACE="Arial">language</FONT></SPAN><SPAN LANG="en-us"><FONT FACE="Arial">”</FONT></SPAN><SPAN LANG="en-us"><FONT FACE="Arial"> where Twain spoofs the confusion engendered by German</FONT></SPAN></P>
<P ALIGN=LEFT><SPAN LANG="en-us"><FONT FACE="Arial">gender by translating literally from a convers</FONT></SPAN><SPAN LANG="en-us"><FONT FACE="Arial">ation in a German</FONT></SPAN></P>
<P ALIGN=LEFT><SPAN LANG="en-us"><FONT FACE="Arial">Sunday school book:</FONT></SPAN><SPAN LANG="en-us"> <FONT FACE="Arial">“</FONT></SPAN><SPAN LANG="en-us"><FONT FACE="Arial">GRETCHEN. Wilhelm, where is the turnip?</FONT></SPAN></P>
<P ALIGN=LEFT><SPAN LANG="en-us"><FONT FACE="Arial">WILHELM. She has gone to the kitchen. GRETCHEN. Where is</FONT></SPAN></P>
<P ALIGN=LEFT><SPAN LANG="en-us"><FONT FACE="Arial">the accomplished and beautiful English maiden? WILHELM. It has</FONT></SPAN></P>
<P ALIGN=LEFT><SPAN LANG="en-us"><FONT FACE="Arial">gone to the opera.</FONT></SPAN><SPAN LANG="en-us"><FONT FACE="Arial">”</FONT></SPAN><SPAN LANG="en-us"><FONT FACE="Arial"></FONT></SPAN><SPAN LANG="en-us"> <FONT FACE="Arial">Twain continues:</FONT></SPAN><SPAN LANG="en-us"> <FONT FACE="Arial">“</FONT></SPAN><SPAN LANG="en-us"><FONT FACE="Arial">A tree is male, its buds are</FONT></SPAN></P>
<P ALIGN=LEFT><SPAN LANG="en-us"><FONT FACE="Arial">female, its leaves are neuter; horses are sexless, dogs are male, </FONT></SPAN></P>
<P ALIGN=LEFT><SPAN LANG="en-us"><FONT FACE="Arial">cats are female</FONT></SPAN><SPAN LANG="en-us"> <FONT FACE="Arial">–</FONT></SPAN><SPAN LANG="en-us"><FONT FACE="Arial"> tomcats</FONT></SPAN><SPAN LANG="en-us"> <FONT FACE="Arial">included.</FONT></SPAN><SPAN LANG="en-us"><FONT FACE="Arial">”</FONT></SPAN><SPAN LANG="en-us"></SPAN></P>
<P ALIGN=LEFT><SPAN LANG="en-us"><FONT FACE="Arial">Well, seen from the outside I can understand why foreigners say</FONT></SPAN></P>
<P ALIGN=LEFT><SPAN LANG="en-us"><FONT FACE="Arial">that</FONT></SPAN><SPAN LANG="en-us"> <FONT FACE="Arial">my mother tongue</FONT></SPAN><SPAN LANG="en-us"> <FONT FACE="Arial">German is hard to learn, just in the area</FONT></SPAN><SPAN LANG="en-us"> </SPAN></P>
<P ALIGN=LEFT><SPAN LANG="en-us"><FONT FACE="Arial">of gender alone.</FONT></SPAN><SPAN LANG="en-us"></SPAN></P>
<P ALIGN=LEFT><SPAN LANG="en-us"><FONT FACE="Arial">Other languages have other irregularities</FONT></SPAN><SPAN LANG="en-us"><FONT FACE="Arial"> in the area of gender</FONT></SPAN></P>
<P ALIGN=LEFT><SPAN LANG="en-us"><FONT FACE="Arial">which defy logic</FONT></SPAN><SPAN LANG="en-us"><FONT FACE="Arial">? As I am collecting</FONT></SPAN><SPAN LANG="en-us"><FONT FACE="Arial"></FONT></SPAN><SPAN LANG="en-us"> <FONT FACE="Arial">funny examples like those</FONT></SPAN><SPAN LANG="en-us"> </SPAN></P>
<P ALIGN=LEFT><SPAN LANG="en-us"><FONT FACE="Arial">from English and German respectively</FONT></SPAN><SPAN LANG="en-us"><FONT FACE="Arial">, I would be grateful for</FONT></SPAN></P>
<P ALIGN=LEFT><SPAN LANG="en-us"><FONT FACE="Arial">examples from other languages.</FONT></SPAN></P>
<P ALIGN=LEFT><SPAN LANG="en-us"><FONT FACE="Arial">Fritz Goerling</FONT></SPAN><SPAN LANG="en-us"></SPAN></P>
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