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<p class=MsoNormal><font size=3 color=black face="Times New Roman"><span
style='font-size:12.0pt'>FOUR ALL WHO REED AND RIGHT<br>
<br>
We'll begin with a box, and the plural is boxes,<br>
but the plural of ox became oxen not oxes.<br>
<br>
One fowl is a goose, but two are called geese,<br>
yet the plural of moose should never be meese.<br>
<br>
You may find a lone mouse or a nest full of mice; <br>
yet the plural of house is houses, not hice. <br>
<br>
If the plural of man is always called men, why <br>
shouldn't the plural of pan be called pen?<br>
<br>
If I spoke of my foot and show you my feet, and<br>
I give you a boot, would a pair be called beet?<br>
<br>
If one is a tooth and a whole set are teeth, why<br>
shouldn't the plural of booth be called beeth?<br>
<br>
Then one may be that, and three would be those,<br>
yet hat in the plural would never be hose, and the <br>
plural of cat is cats, not cose. <br>
<br>
We speak of a brother and also of brethren, but <br>
though we say mother, we never say methren.<br>
<br>
Then the masculine pronouns are he, his and him, <br>
but imagine the feminine, she, shis and shim.<br>
<br>
Let's face! it! - English is a crazy language.<br>
<br>
There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in<br>
hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple.<br>
<br>
English muffins weren't invented in <st1:country-region w:st="on"><st1:place
w:st="on">England</st1:place></st1:country-region>. We<br>
take English for granted.<br>
<br>
But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand <br>
can work slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea <br>
pig is neither from <st1:country-region w:st="on"><st1:place w:st="on">Guinea</st1:place></st1:country-region>
nor is it a pig.<br>
<br>
And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing,<br>
grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham?<br>
<br>
Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends,<br>
but not one amend?<br>
<br>
If you have a bunch of odds and ends, and get rid<br>
of all but one of them, what do you call it?<br>
<br>
If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught?<br>
<br>
If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?<br>
<br>
Sometimes I think all the folks who grew up speaking English<br>
should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane.<br>
<br>
In what other language do people recite at a play and play<br>
at a recital?<br>
<br>
Ship by truck and send cargo by ship?<br>
Have noses that run and feet that smell?<br>
How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the<br>
same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites?<br>
<br>
You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language<br>
in which your house can burn up as it burns down,<br>
in which you fill in a form by filling it out and<br>
in which an alarm goes off by going on.<br>
<br>
If Dad is Pop, how come Mom isn't Mop?<br>
<br>
Or park on a driveway and drive on a parkway?<br>
<br>
--AUTHOR UNKNOWN--or is it "KNOTKNOWN"?<br>
<br>
<br>
<br>
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