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<DIV><FONT face=Arial size=2>Note: At least part of the material cited (if not
all of it) is from the book "Crazy English," by Richard Lederer. I don't have my
copy handy to check if the entire quote is there.</FONT></DIV>
<BLOCKQUOTE
style="PADDING-RIGHT: 0px; PADDING-LEFT: 5px; MARGIN-LEFT: 5px; BORDER-LEFT: #000000 2px solid; MARGIN-RIGHT: 0px">
<DIV style="FONT: 10pt arial">----- Original Message ----- </DIV>
<DIV
style="BACKGROUND: #e4e4e4; FONT: 10pt arial; font-color: black"><B>From:</B>
<A title=Fritz_Goerling@sil.org href="mailto:Fritz_Goerling@sil.org">Fritz
Goerling</A> </DIV>
<DIV style="FONT: 10pt arial"><B>To:</B> <A
title=lexicographylist@yahoogroups.com
href="mailto:lexicographylist@yahoogroups.com">lexicographylist@yahoogroups.com</A>
</DIV>
<DIV style="FONT: 10pt arial"><B>Sent:</B> Friday, April 20, 2007 4:37
PM</DIV>
<DIV style="FONT: 10pt arial"><B>Subject:</B> [Lexicog] Crazy English
language</DIV>
<DIV><BR></DIV>
<DIV id=ygrp-text>
<P>
<DIV class=Section1>
<P class=MsoNormal><FONT face="Times New Roman" color=black size=3><SPAN
style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt">FOUR ALL WHO REED AND RIGHT<BR><BR>We'll begin with a
box, and the plural is boxes,<BR>but the plural of ox became oxen not
oxes.<BR><BR>One fowl is a goose, but two are called geese,<BR>yet the plural
of moose should never be meese.<BR><BR>You may find a lone mouse or a nest
full of mice; <BR>yet the plural of house is houses, not hice. <BR><BR>If the
plural of man is always called men, why <BR>shouldn't the plural of pan be
called pen?<BR><BR>If I spoke of my foot and show you my feet, and<BR>I give
you a boot, would a pair be called beet?<BR><BR>If one is a tooth and a whole
set are teeth, why<BR>shouldn't the plural of booth be called
beeth?<BR><BR>Then one may be that, and three would be those,<BR>yet hat in
the plural would never be hose, and the <BR>plural of cat is cats, not cose.
<BR><BR>We speak of a brother and also of brethren, but <BR>though we say
mother, we never say methren.<BR><BR>Then the masculine pronouns are he, his
and him, <BR>but imagine the feminine, she, shis and shim.<BR><BR>Let's face!
it! - English is a crazy language.<BR><BR>There is no egg in eggplant nor ham
in<BR>hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple.<BR><BR>English muffins
weren't invented in <ST1><ST1>England</ST1></ST1>. We<BR>take English for
granted.<BR><BR>But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand
<BR>can work slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea <BR>pig is neither
from <ST1><ST1>Guinea</ST1></ST1> nor is it a pig.<BR><BR>And why is it that
writers write but fingers don't fing,<BR>grocers don't groce and hammers don't
ham?<BR><BR>Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends,<BR>but not one
amend?<BR><BR>If you have a bunch of odds and ends, and get rid<BR>of all but
one of them, what do you call it?<BR><BR>If teachers taught, why didn't
preachers praught?<BR><BR>If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a
humanitarian eat?<BR><BR>Sometimes I think all the folks who grew up speaking
English<BR>should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane.<BR><BR>In
what other language do people recite at a play and play<BR>at a
recital?<BR><BR>Ship by truck and send cargo by ship?<BR>Have noses that run
and feet that smell?<BR>How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the<BR>same,
while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites?<BR><BR>You have to marvel at
the unique lunacy of a language<BR>in which your house can burn up as it burns
down,<BR>in which you fill in a form by filling it out and<BR>in which an
alarm goes off by going on.<BR><BR>If Dad is Pop, how come Mom isn't
Mop?<BR><BR>Or park on a driveway and drive on a parkway?<BR><BR>--AUTHOR
UNKNOWN--or is it "KNOTKNOWN"?<BR><BR><BR><BR><O></O></SPAN></FONT></P><X></X>
<P><FONT face="Times New Roman" color=black size=3><SPAN
style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt">=<BR><BR><O></O></SPAN></FONT></P></DIV>
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