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<P class=MsoNormal><B><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 36pt">Was this
put together by a retired English
teacher?</SPAN></B></P></DIV></TD></TR></TBODY></TABLE></TD></TR></TBODY></TABLE>
<DIV>
<P class=MsoNormal><BR><B><SPAN
style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Calibri','sans-serif'; FONT-SIZE: 36pt">Read all the
way to the end.................<BR>This took a lot of work to put
together!</SPAN></B><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Calibri','sans-serif'">
</SPAN></P></DIV>
<TABLE style="WIDTH: 100%" border=0 cellSpacing=3 cellPadding=0
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<DIV>
<P class=MsoNormal><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 24pt"><BR>1) The bandage
was <B><U>wound </U></B>around the <B><U>wound.</U></B><BR><BR>2)
The farm was used to <B><U>produce produce</U></B>.<BR><BR>3) The
dump was so full that it had to <B><U>refuse </U></B>more
<B><U>refuse</U></B>.<BR><BR>4) We must <B><U>polish </U></B>the
<B><U>Polish </U></B>furniture..<BR><BR>5) He could <B><U>lead
</U></B>if he would get the <B><U>lead </U></B>out.<BR><BR>6) The
soldier decided to <B><U>desert </U></B>his dessert in the
<B><U>desert..</U></B><BR><BR>7) Since there is no time like the
<B><U>present</U></B>, he thought it was time to <B><U>present
</U></B>the <B><U>present</U>.</B><BR><BR>8) A <B><U>bass
</U></B>was painted on the head of the <B><U>bass
</U></B>drum.<BR><BR>9) When shot at, the <B><U>dove dove
</U></B>into the bushes.<BR><BR>10) I did not <B><U>object
</U></B>to the <B><U>object.</U></B><BR><BR>11) The insurance was
<B><U>invalid </U></B>for the <B><U>invalid.</U></B><BR><BR>12)
There was a <B><U>row </U></B>among the oarsmen about how to
<B><U>row</U></B>.<BR><BR>13) They were too <B><U>close </U></B>to
the door to <B><U>close </U></B>it.<BR><BR>14) The buck <B><U>does
</U></B>funny things when the <B><U>does </U></B>are
present.<BR><BR>15) A seamstress and a <B><U>sewer </U></B>fell down
into a <B><U>sewer </U></B>line.<BR><BR>16) To help with planting,
the farmer taught his <B><U>sow </U></B>to
<B><U>sow.</U></B><BR><BR>17) The <B><U>wind </U></B>was too strong
to <B><U>wind </U></B>the sail.<BR><BR>18) Upon seeing the
<B><U>tear </U></B>in the painting I shed a
<B><U>tear..</U></B><BR><BR>19) I had to <B><U>subject </U></B>the
<B><U>subject </U></B>to a series of tests.<BR><BR>20) How can I
<B><U>intimate </U></B>this to my most <B><U>intimate
</U></B>friend?</SPAN></P></DIV></TD></TR></TBODY></TABLE>
<DIV>
<P class=MsoNormal><BR><SPAN
style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Calibri','sans-serif'; FONT-SIZE: 24pt"><BR><BR>Let's
face it - English is a crazy language. There is no egg in eggplant, nor
ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins
weren't invented in England or French fries in France . Sweetmeats are
candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat. We take English
for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can
work slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from
Guinea nor is it a pig..<BR><BR>And why is it that writers write but
fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham? If the
plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth, beeth? One goose,
2 geese. So one moose, 2 meese? One index, 2 indices? Doesn't it seem
crazy that you can make amends but not one amend? If you have a bunch of
odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call
it?<BR><BR>If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught? If a
vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat? Sometimes I
think all the English speakers should be committed to an asylum for the
verbally insane. In what language do people recite at a play and play at a
recital? Ship by truck and send cargo by ship? Have noses that run and
feet that smell?<BR><BR>How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the
same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites? You have to marvel at
the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it
burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out and in which, an
alarm goes off by going on.<BR><BR>English was invented by people, not
computers, and it reflects the creativity of the human race, which, of
course, is not a race at all. That is why, when the stars are out, they
are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible.<BR><BR>PS. -
Why doesn't 'Buick' rhyme with 'quick' ?<B><BR><BR><BR>You lovers of the
English language might enjoy this ..<BR><BR>There is a two-letter word
that perhaps has more meanings than any other two-letter word, and that
is</B><U><SPAN style="COLOR: red">'UP.'</SPAN></U></SPAN><B><SPAN
style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Calibri','sans-serif'; FONT-SIZE: 36pt"><BR><BR>It's
easy to understand </SPAN></B><U><SPAN
style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Calibri','sans-serif'; COLOR: red; FONT-SIZE: 36pt">UP</SPAN></U><SPAN
style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Calibri','sans-serif'; FONT-SIZE: 10pt">,
</SPAN><SPAN
style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Calibri','sans-serif'; FONT-SIZE: 24pt">meaning
toward the sky or at the top of the list, but when we awaken in the
morning, why do we wake </SPAN><U><SPAN
style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Calibri','sans-serif'; COLOR: red; FONT-SIZE: 36pt">UP
</SPAN></U><SPAN
style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Calibri','sans-serif'; FONT-SIZE: 24pt">?<BR>At a
meeting, why does a topic come </SPAN><U><SPAN
style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Calibri','sans-serif'; COLOR: red; FONT-SIZE: 36pt">UP</SPAN></U><SPAN
style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Calibri','sans-serif'; FONT-SIZE: 24pt">?<BR>Why do
we speak </SPAN><U><SPAN
style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Calibri','sans-serif'; COLOR: red; FONT-SIZE: 36pt">UP
</SPAN></U><SPAN
style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Calibri','sans-serif'; FONT-SIZE: 24pt">and why are
the officers </SPAN><U><SPAN
style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Calibri','sans-serif'; COLOR: red; FONT-SIZE: 36pt">UP
</SPAN></U><SPAN
style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Calibri','sans-serif'; FONT-SIZE: 24pt">for election
and why is it </SPAN><U><SPAN
style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Calibri','sans-serif'; COLOR: red; FONT-SIZE: 36pt">UP
</SPAN></U><SPAN
style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Calibri','sans-serif'; FONT-SIZE: 18pt">to the
secretary to write </SPAN><U><SPAN
style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Calibri','sans-serif'; COLOR: red; FONT-SIZE: 36pt">UP
</SPAN></U><SPAN
style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Calibri','sans-serif'; FONT-SIZE: 24pt">a
report?<BR>We call </SPAN><U><SPAN
style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Calibri','sans-serif'; COLOR: red; FONT-SIZE: 36pt">UP
</SPAN></U><SPAN
style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Calibri','sans-serif'; FONT-SIZE: 24pt">our
friends.<BR>And we use it to brighten </SPAN><U><SPAN
style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Calibri','sans-serif'; COLOR: red; FONT-SIZE: 36pt">UP
</SPAN></U><SPAN
style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Calibri','sans-serif'; FONT-SIZE: 24pt">a room,
polish </SPAN><U><SPAN
style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Calibri','sans-serif'; COLOR: red; FONT-SIZE: 36pt">UP
</SPAN></U><SPAN
style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Calibri','sans-serif'; FONT-SIZE: 24pt">the silver;
we warm </SPAN><U><SPAN
style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Calibri','sans-serif'; COLOR: red; FONT-SIZE: 36pt">UP
</SPAN></U><SPAN
style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Calibri','sans-serif'; FONT-SIZE: 24pt">the leftovers
and clean </SPAN><U><SPAN
style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Calibri','sans-serif'; COLOR: red; FONT-SIZE: 36pt">UP
</SPAN></U><SPAN
style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Calibri','sans-serif'; FONT-SIZE: 24pt">the
kitchen.<BR>We lock </SPAN><U><SPAN
style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Calibri','sans-serif'; COLOR: red; FONT-SIZE: 36pt">UP
</SPAN></U><SPAN
style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Calibri','sans-serif'; FONT-SIZE: 24pt">the house and
some guys fix </SPAN><U><SPAN
style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Calibri','sans-serif'; COLOR: red; FONT-SIZE: 36pt">UP
</SPAN></U><SPAN
style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Calibri','sans-serif'; FONT-SIZE: 24pt">the old
car.<BR>At other times the little word has real special meaning.<BR>People
stir </SPAN><U><SPAN
style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Calibri','sans-serif'; COLOR: red; FONT-SIZE: 36pt">UP
</SPAN></U><SPAN
style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Calibri','sans-serif'; FONT-SIZE: 24pt">trouble, line
</SPAN><U><SPAN
style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Calibri','sans-serif'; COLOR: red; FONT-SIZE: 36pt">UP
</SPAN></U><SPAN
style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Calibri','sans-serif'; FONT-SIZE: 24pt">for tickets,
work </SPAN><U><SPAN
style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Calibri','sans-serif'; COLOR: red; FONT-SIZE: 36pt">UP
</SPAN></U><SPAN
style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Calibri','sans-serif'; FONT-SIZE: 24pt">an appetite,
and think </SPAN><SPAN
style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Calibri','sans-serif'; COLOR: red; FONT-SIZE: 36pt">UP
</SPAN><SPAN
style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Calibri','sans-serif'; FONT-SIZE: 24pt">excuses.<BR>To
be dressed is one thing, but to be dressed </SPAN><SPAN
style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Calibri','sans-serif'; COLOR: red; FONT-SIZE: 36pt">UP
</SPAN><SPAN
style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Calibri','sans-serif'; FONT-SIZE: 24pt">is
special</SPAN><SPAN
style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Calibri','sans-serif'; FONT-SIZE: 10pt">.</SPAN><SPAN
style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Calibri','sans-serif'; FONT-SIZE: 24pt"><BR>A drain
must be opened </SPAN><U><SPAN
style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Calibri','sans-serif'; COLOR: red; FONT-SIZE: 36pt">UP
</SPAN></U><SPAN
style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Calibri','sans-serif'; FONT-SIZE: 24pt">because it is
stopped </SPAN><SPAN
style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Calibri','sans-serif'; COLOR: red; FONT-SIZE: 36pt">UP</SPAN><SPAN
style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Calibri','sans-serif'; FONT-SIZE: 36pt">.</SPAN><SPAN
style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Calibri','sans-serif'; FONT-SIZE: 24pt"><BR>We open
</SPAN><U><SPAN
style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Calibri','sans-serif'; COLOR: red; FONT-SIZE: 36pt">UP
</SPAN></U><SPAN
style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Calibri','sans-serif'; FONT-SIZE: 24pt">a store in
the morning but we close it </SPAN><U><SPAN
style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Calibri','sans-serif'; COLOR: red; FONT-SIZE: 36pt">UP
</SPAN></U><SPAN
style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Calibri','sans-serif'; FONT-SIZE: 24pt">at
night.<B><BR><BR>We seem to be pretty mixed </B></SPAN><U><SPAN
style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Calibri','sans-serif'; COLOR: red; FONT-SIZE: 36pt">UP
</SPAN></U><B><SPAN
style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Calibri','sans-serif'; FONT-SIZE: 24pt">about
</SPAN></B><U><SPAN
style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Calibri','sans-serif'; COLOR: red; FONT-SIZE: 36pt">UP</SPAN></U><SPAN
style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Calibri','sans-serif'; FONT-SIZE: 36pt">!</SPAN><SPAN
style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Calibri','sans-serif'; FONT-SIZE: 24pt"><BR>To be
knowledgeable about the proper uses of </SPAN><U><SPAN
style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Calibri','sans-serif'; COLOR: red; FONT-SIZE: 36pt">UP</SPAN></U><SPAN
style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Calibri','sans-serif'; FONT-SIZE: 36pt">,
</SPAN><SPAN
style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Calibri','sans-serif'; FONT-SIZE: 24pt">look the word
</SPAN><U><SPAN
style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Calibri','sans-serif'; COLOR: red; FONT-SIZE: 36pt">UP
</SPAN></U><SPAN
style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Calibri','sans-serif'; FONT-SIZE: 24pt">in the
dictionary.<BR>In a desk-sized dictionary, it takes </SPAN><U><SPAN
style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Calibri','sans-serif'; COLOR: red; FONT-SIZE: 36pt">UP
</SPAN></U><SPAN
style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Calibri','sans-serif'; FONT-SIZE: 24pt">almost 1/4th
of the page and can add </SPAN><U><SPAN
style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Calibri','sans-serif'; COLOR: red; FONT-SIZE: 36pt">UP
</SPAN></U><SPAN
style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Calibri','sans-serif'; FONT-SIZE: 24pt">to about
thirty definitions.<BR>If you are </SPAN><U><SPAN
style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Calibri','sans-serif'; COLOR: red; FONT-SIZE: 36pt">UP
</SPAN></U><SPAN
style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Calibri','sans-serif'; FONT-SIZE: 24pt">to it, you
might try building </SPAN><U><SPAN
style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Calibri','sans-serif'; COLOR: red; FONT-SIZE: 36pt">UP
</SPAN></U><SPAN
style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Calibri','sans-serif'; FONT-SIZE: 24pt">a list of the
many ways </SPAN><U><SPAN
style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Calibri','sans-serif'; COLOR: red; FONT-SIZE: 36pt">UP
</SPAN></U><SPAN
style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Calibri','sans-serif'; FONT-SIZE: 24pt">is
used.<BR>It will take </SPAN><U><SPAN
style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Calibri','sans-serif'; COLOR: red; FONT-SIZE: 36pt">UP
</SPAN></U><SPAN
style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Calibri','sans-serif'; FONT-SIZE: 24pt">a lot of your
time, but if you don't give </SPAN><U><SPAN
style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Calibri','sans-serif'; COLOR: red; FONT-SIZE: 36pt">UP</SPAN></U><SPAN
style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Calibri','sans-serif'; FONT-SIZE: 36pt">,
</SPAN><SPAN
style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Calibri','sans-serif'; FONT-SIZE: 24pt">you may wind
</SPAN><U><SPAN
style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Calibri','sans-serif'; COLOR: red; FONT-SIZE: 36pt">UP
</SPAN></U><SPAN
style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Calibri','sans-serif'; FONT-SIZE: 24pt">with a
hundred or more<BR>When it threatens to rain, we say it is clouding
</SPAN><U><SPAN
style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Calibri','sans-serif'; COLOR: red; FONT-SIZE: 36pt">UP</SPAN></U><SPAN
style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Calibri','sans-serif'; FONT-SIZE: 24pt">.<BR>When the
sun comes out we say it is clearing</SPAN><U><SPAN
style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Calibri','sans-serif'; COLOR: red; FONT-SIZE: 36pt">UP</SPAN></U><SPAN
style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Calibri','sans-serif'; FONT-SIZE: 10pt">.</SPAN><B><SPAN
style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Calibri','sans-serif'; FONT-SIZE: 24pt"><BR>When it
rains, it wets the earth and often messes things </SPAN></B><U><SPAN
style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Calibri','sans-serif'; COLOR: red; FONT-SIZE: 36pt">UP</SPAN></U><SPAN
style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Calibri','sans-serif'; COLOR: red; FONT-SIZE: 36pt">.</SPAN><B><SPAN
style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Calibri','sans-serif'; FONT-SIZE: 24pt"><BR>When it
doesn't rain for awhile, things dry </SPAN></B><U><SPAN
style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Calibri','sans-serif'; COLOR: red; FONT-SIZE: 24pt">UP</SPAN></U><SPAN
style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Calibri','sans-serif'; FONT-SIZE: 36pt">.<B><BR><BR>One
could go on and on, but I'll wrap it </B><U><SPAN
style="COLOR: red">UP</SPAN></U></SPAN><SPAN
style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Calibri','sans-serif'; FONT-SIZE: 10pt">,</SPAN><SPAN
style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Calibri','sans-serif'; FONT-SIZE: 24pt"><BR>for now
my time is </SPAN><U><SPAN
style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Calibri','sans-serif'; COLOR: red; FONT-SIZE: 36pt">UP</SPAN></U><SPAN
style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Calibri','sans-serif'; FONT-SIZE: 24pt">,<BR>so.......it
is time to shut </SPAN><U><SPAN
style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Calibri','sans-serif'; COLOR: red; FONT-SIZE: 36pt">UP</SPAN></U><SPAN
style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Calibri','sans-serif'; FONT-SIZE: 36pt">!</SPAN><SPAN
style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Calibri','sans-serif'; FONT-SIZE: 24pt"><BR>Now it's
</SPAN><U><SPAN
style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Calibri','sans-serif'; COLOR: red; FONT-SIZE: 36pt">UP
</SPAN></U><SPAN
style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Calibri','sans-serif'; FONT-SIZE: 24pt">to you what
you do with this email.</SPAN><SPAN
style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Calibri','sans-serif'"> </SPAN></P></DIV>
<DIV>
<P class=MsoNormal><SPAN
style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Calibri','sans-serif'"><BR></SPAN>**********************************************************************</P></DIV></DIV></DIV></DIV></DIV>
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