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<DIV><FONT color=#000000 size=2>The following was forwarded to me by a colleague
in the UNT English Dept. While I was amused, I also found it an
interesting and somewhat disturbing example of the types of language ideologies
that Jane Hill has discussed surrounding "Mock Spanish." Note
that in order to create Italian, all one has to do is add vowels to the ends of
English words. There's also the interesting twist that in this case it's
the foreign, usually incomprehensible, language which carries the
"real" meaning while the English titles are deliberately
euphemistic. Anyway, thought people might find it an interesting object
for analysis.</FONT></DIV>
<DIV> </DIV>
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<DIV>> An Opera, White House Style<BR>> <BR>> Act
1.<BR>> The Situation: Bill Clinton has been elected
President of the United<BR>> States by an overwhelming margin. The
Republicans are devastated, angry,<BR>> and are trying to find their way back
to power.<BR>> As the curtain rises on the opera, the
House Republicans are meeting<BR>> with Ken Starr with the object of trying
to find a way to remove Bill<BR>> Clinton from the
Presidency.<BR>> The opening chorale "We Must
Find a Way" (Creatio Grandissimo Floozi<BR>> Scandala) is sung as a
sextet. In an impressive recitative, Tom Delay<BR>> sings "Where Will We
find a Helper?" (Dredgi Uppulia Una Granda Bimba).<BR>> The House
Republicans exit.<BR>> Paula Jones enters stage right
with a mirror, singing her plaintive<BR>> "Why Can't I Find a Man?"
(Mi Schnozzolo Es Humongo.)<BR>> Tom Delay and Newt
Gingrich enter from the other wing. They spot<BR>> Paula and sing the
duet "Why Not Her?" (La Flooza
Perfetta).<BR>> They meet and take Paula to a small
cafe where they hatch their plot<BR>> in hushed tones. Paula tells them
of her meeting in a hotel with Clinton<BR>> years earlier and how her
fortunes have collapsed since then.<BR>> Delay and Gingrich offer to
help. They sing the aria, "Your Luck Has<BR>> Changed"
(Nozjobbo Es Rewardo).<BR>> <BR>> Act 2.<BR>>
The House Republicans reconvene with the news of Paula's<BR>>
revelations. They sing in jubilation "We must Tell the World"
(Phono<BR>> Tabloido).<BR>> The rear curtain rises
to reveal the Chorus of Media who sing the<BR>> chorale, "Tell Us
More, But Only the Truth" (Sexio Scandala Hypo<BR>>
Sweepi).<BR>> Gingrich enters with Pat
Robertson. They sing the duet "He Must<BR>> Go"
(Hypocriti Pious Crappola). Robertson offers to make time on his<BR>>
television program to expose the charges. At the House Republicans'<BR>>
suggestion, Paula initiates a lawsuit. The Jones scandal becomes
the<BR>> topic of conversation throughout the
country.<BR>> The Chorus of Lawyers enters from the
right to sing the jubilant<BR>> grand chorale "We Must Do Our
Duty" (Multi, Multi Grande Moolah).<BR>>
Ken Starr meets with the House Republicans to plan the next steps.<BR>> They
sing the aria "We Will Save the Country" (Sleezi
Connivo).<BR>> Starr promises to convene a grand jury
which will send charges to<BR>> the Congress. He sings "The Truth
Will be Known" (Whitewater Non Starto,<BR>> Probo la Flooz
Epidemio).<BR>> The Chorus of Lawyers sings a reprise
of "We Must Do Our Duty" as<BR>> the act ends.<BR>> <BR>> Act
3.<BR>> Linda Tripp enters the stage arm-in-arm with
Ken Starr. She is<BR>> wearing a headset. She is singing
"Monica is My Dearest Friend" (Mi Es<BR>> la Wiccida Witchi
Occidenta). She tells Starr about the secret tapes that<BR>> she has
made of conversations with Monica Lewinsky.<BR>>
Starr takes them from her and sings "We've Got Him Now"
(Presidente<BR>> Droppo Pantaloni). Starr hurries off to the Grand Jury
to call Monica as<BR>> a witness.<BR>> Monica
enters the grand jury room where the Chorus of Lawyers asks<BR>> her
questions. They sing the recitative "How Did It happen?"
(PantiThongo,<BR>> la Flashi). Monica sings the long passionate aria
"We Were Meant for Each<BR>> Other" (Non Smoko El Pruducto, Phalli
Symboglio).<BR>> In the third scene, Hilary and Bill
are sitting in the Lincoln<BR>> bedroom talking about the revelations about
Monica. Hilary sings "I Will<BR>> Stand By You" (Tu Jercho
Estupido, Mi Removo Su Equipamento).<BR>> Bill replies with
"She Was the Only One" (Non Conto Gennifer, Paula,<BR>> Piu
Multi Bimba Forgetta). They embrace.<BR>> <BR>> Act
4.<BR>> Sam Donaldson is interviewing Henry Hyde in
the Capitol Building.<BR>> The Chorus of Lawyers hums in the
background. Hyde sings the aria "We<BR>> Believe in
Something" (Impeaccho Hippi Bastardo).<BR>>
Donaldson sings a recitative in answer, "We Only Want the
Truth"<BR>> (Toupee Eslippo).<BR>> The great
trial begins in the Senate. Trent Lott reacts to public<BR>> opinion
polls showing that the President has a 76% approval rating with<BR>> the
public in the poignant aria, "What is Right is Not Popular"
(Partia<BR>> Repubblico Committini Suicido).<BR>>
The Chorus of Lawyers sings the chorale "Principles Come First"
(Mi<BR>> Adultero Non Conto).<BR>> With great
flourish, Henry Hyde, Bill McCullom and Tom Delay stand<BR>> before the
Senate to present their case. They sing the somber trio "How<BR>>
Can You Not Convict?" (Evidenso Multi
Flimsioso).<BR>> Finally in a moving chorale, the
Chorus Of Lawyers sings "For the<BR>> Good of the Nation, We Must
Acquit." (Senato Non Stupido.)<BR>> After the
vote is announced, Henry Hyde, Tom Delay, Trent Lott and<BR>> Bill
McCollum leave the Senate Chamber singing the grand quartet "We<BR>>
Still Know the Truth" (Wasto Multi Millioni) as the act ends.<BR>>
<BR>> Epilogue.<BR>> The President sings the
contrite aria "I am Very Sorry" (Revengo<BR>> Futuro) as the Chorus
of Media circles him, shouting their questions.<BR>> They sing "Who Will
Now Believe Us?" (Publicca Degustanta Es in
Media).<BR>> Monica Lewinsky crosses the stage with
her new literary agent, Ken<BR>> Starr. They sing "It is Still Not
Over" (Publishi Grande Bucchi, Dollare<BR>> Millioni) as the curtain
falls.</DIV></BODY></HTML>