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<div>This comes courtesy of my socio-cultural anthro. friends, but I
haven't yet seen it from ling. types, so here it is - KW</div>
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<blockquote type="cite" cite><a
href="http://www.borowitzreport.com"><u><b>The</b></u></a><u><b> Andy
Borowitz Report</b></u><br>
<font size="+1"><b>Breaking News</b></font><br>
<font size="+2" color="#0000FF"><b>BUSH CANCELS AGREEMENT BETWEEN NOUN
AND VERBS</b></font><br>
<font size="+3"><b><br>
</b></font><font size="+2" color="#0000FF"><b>'I Has a Mandate, and I
Intends to Use it,' Says President</b></font><br>
<font size="+2"><b><br>
</b></font><br>
President George W. Bush announced the first major initiative of his
second term in office today, canceling the agreement between nouns and
verbs.<br>
<br>
The president, who had been widely expected to announce a series of
faith-based initiatives, surprised Washington insiders by kicking off
his second term with a grammar-based one.<br>
<br>
Mr. Bush left little doubt that he intended to consign the agreement
between nouns and verbs to the dustbin of history, telling reporters,
"I has a mandate, and I intends to use it."<br>
<br>
In world capitals, heads of state responded with a mixture of shock
and dismay to the president's decision to back out of the noun-verb
agreement, long considered a cornerstone of human communication.<br>
<br>
"It was one thing to back out of the Kyoto Protocol and the
Geneva Conventions, but if Mr. Bush intends to break the agreement
between nouns and verbs he is going it alone," said French
president Jacques Chirac.<br>
<br>
But President Bush was quick to correct Mr. Chirac, responding,
"I think what my good friend Jacques Chirac means is, I 'are'
going it alone."<br>
<br>
The president noted that his proposal had received a vote of
confidence from British Prime Minister Tony Blair, who earlier in the
day said, "He have my full support."<br>
<br>
Mr. Bush went on to announce a series of other bold initiatives, such
as imposing a moratorium on complete sentences and eliminating the
letter "g" from the end of most words.<br>
Elsewhere, the Pentagon announced that U.S. fighter jets missed a
target in southern Iraq today, strafing a middle school in New
Jersey.<x-tab> </x-tab></blockquote>
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<div>Kathryn A. Woolard<x-tab>
</x-tab><x-tab>
</x-tab><x-tab>
</x-tab>kwoolard@ucsd.edu<br>
Professor<x-tab>
</x-tab><x-tab>
</x-tab><x-tab>
</x-tab><x-tab>
</x-tab>Phone: (858) 534-4639<br>
Department of Anthropology, 0532<x-tab>
</x-tab><x-tab> </x-tab>Fax
: (858) 534-5946<br>
UCSD<br>
9500 Gilman Drive<br>
La Jolla, CA 92093-0532</div>
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