14.1067, All: LINGUIST List Taken Over - MaLingua Exclusive

LINGUIST List linguist at linguistlist.org
Thu Apr 10 04:28:06 UTC 2003


LINGUIST List:  Vol-14-1067. Thu Apr 10 2003. ISSN: 1068-4875.

Subject: 14.1067, All: LINGUIST List Taken Over - MaLingua Exclusive

Moderators: Anthony Aristar, Wayne State U.<aristar at linguistlist.org>
            Helen Dry, Eastern Michigan U. <hdry at linguistlist.org>

Reviews (reviews at linguistlist.org):
	Simin Karimi, U. of Arizona
	Terence Langendoen, U. of Arizona

Home Page:  http://linguistlist.org/

The LINGUIST List is funded by Eastern Michigan University, Wayne
State University, and donations from subscribers and publishers.

Editor for this issue: Richard John Harvey <richard at linguistlist.org>
 ==========================================================================
To post to LINGUIST, use our convenient web form at
http://linguistlist.org/LL/posttolinguist.html.

=================================Directory=================================

1)
Date:  10 Apr 2003 02:28:05 -0000
From:  linguist at linguistlist.org
Subject:  'LINGUIST List' Now 'LINGUIST Cook Online' - Hostile Takeover

2)
Date:  Thu, 10 Apr 2003 00:05:20 +0000
From:  linguist at linguistlist.org
Subject:  How to Donate and the LINGUIST List Hall of Fame

-------------------------------- Message 1 -------------------------------

Date:  10 Apr 2003 02:28:05 -0000
From:  linguist at linguistlist.org
Subject:  'LINGUIST List' Now 'LINGUIST Cook Online' - Hostile Takeover


		*********************
		*** MaLingua 2003 ***
		*********************
		   10th April 2003

~To read MaLingua online, and see the photos, visit:
             http://linguistlist.org/malingua2003.html

'LINGUIST List' Now 'LINGUIST Cook Online' - Hostile Takeover

MaLingua EXCLUSIVE!

Shocking news has reached the desks of MaLingua that will impact not
only the discipline of linguistics, but the business world as well!
The LINGUIST List, for years a staple of the linguistic community, has
been taken over by the Food is Very Profitable Network (FVPN) in a
hostile share deal that will make millions for the company, but will
leave academics everywhere dry-mouthed and undernourished. The new
company will be marketed as LINGUIST Cook Online.

A surprised Wall Street is still trying to recover from the
astonishing deal that was announced at the start of this morning's
trading - but the general feeling is one of euphoria at the serious
bundles of cash that will be made in the next few days. Forecasts are
off the charts and the projected turnover for the next year is so much
that the MaLingua office calculator started to smoke.

Questions have been raised as to how such a large acquisition could
have happened without any leaks. The official statement released by
FVPN is that disgruntled graduate students at LINGUIST, annoyed with
the draconian working conditions and a diet of bread and water, were
easily swayed by the offer. Loyalty was secured and secrecy assured
and the team pulled together in a midnight swoop on the moderators,
leaving the crestfallen leaders of LINGUIST powerless to resist the
move. FVPN already owns three of the largest publishing houses, four
national and eight regional television stations, six digital radio
stations; and this is just in America. Via their two custom made power
satellites FVPN provides the world with a plethora of food and drink
related programming that is second to none.

Many analysts are saying that this is the final step in a ten-year
crusade by the network to position themselves as the world leader in
the Food Information sector. The takeover will bolster the one area in
which FVPN has not made an impact: the Food Metadata Digitization
quarter of the market. Gayathri Sriram, FVPN's chief technical
consultant said that "the dot com era was over, dead, finished! With
this exciting move, we have spiced up the markets into a dot 'come
again'." Sriram informed us that LINGUIST Cook Online will take full
advantage of the technology developed by LINGUIST List, especially the
dynamic web architecture to deliver recipes and cooking tips to the
kitchens of the world. She also told us a lot of other technical stuff
that we didn't understand.

BACKHANDERS!

MaLingua can exclusively reveal that this recipe for success is not as
well mixed as it sounds. A variety of sources have informed us that
this pot-luck stinks of insider deals, backhanders and unsavory
ingredients. We have learned that the Department of Justice Anti-trust
division has been investigating this and a number of other deals
involving FVPN, dating back to 1997. Enquiries have centered on the
dynamic and megalomaniac head of the network, Dr. P.C. Ival. As
always, Dr. Ival was not available for comment; his reclusive nature
has often been a cause for rumors. But we are told that in order to
secure this deal, many a brown envelope containing lots of cash and
raw linguistic data has been passed 'under the table' to high ranking
linguists around the world. Dr. Ival's international-wide government
connections are also very strong - his influential daily newspaper in
Britain The Sun Ripened Tomato was crucial for the success of the
current leadership to gain power; in France he publishes the well
respected Le Monde de la Cuisine; in Germany his Die Welt des Kochens
carries much political weight; and of course in America The Cooking
Post is the favorite read of many a representative on Capitol
Hill. This strange and hermit-like individual is steering the course
of Food Information wealth directly to the well stocked vaults of
FVPN's bank account.


DEVASTATING BLOW

MaLingua, after months of research into P.C. Ival, can exclusively
report the true identity of this tyrannical ruler. After months of
crack investigative journalism, our highly trained team has uncovered
a conspiracy that will rock the discipline of linguistics, shake the
foundations of scientific enquiry and send shockwaves though the
economic infrastructure of the global economy that FVPN dictates. The
real person behind P.C. Ival is not a person at all - he's a cat! And
not just any cat, but Percival The LINGUIST List Cat
(http://linguistlist.org/percy.html).

This one-time mastermind behind the LINGUIST project disappeared about
six weeks ago, much to the distress of the moderators and student
crew, leaving a message that he'd had enough and needed a holiday. As
it turns out the postcards that he sent from around the world were
just cover stories for the real purpose of his travels: pulling
together a consortium of the world's richest fat-cats to raise the
cash he needed to implement his takeover plans.

Everyone at LINGUIST was fooled. For years Percy has been directing
LINGUIST towards the goal of gentle academic achievement, when in
truth behind the scenes he was running the most powerful collection of
cooking enthusiasts ever known; his sole aim for LINGUIST List was to
turn it into the Premier Web Portal for Cooking Data in the world. The
moderators were so convinced by Percival's lies that they even went to
the extent of hiring a private detective to chase the delinquent
super-brain all around the world in the hope of catching him and
bringing him back. Percy was always one step ahead of his captors,
however, and somehow managed to sneak his way back to LINGUIST List HQ
in time to oversee the conversion to LINGUIST Cook Online. See Steve
Moran's brilliant MaLingua Photo Journalism at:
http://linguistlist.org/malinga-photostory.html

The future of LINGUIST Cook Online and FVPN is uncertain, but we know
that the moderators in a last-ditch attempt to recover the List to its
rightful seat of excellence in academia have mounted a Retaliation
Takeover bid, and are currently seeking out friendly, good-natured
linguists to make donations towards the campaign. So far they have
raised $38,346.57 - a staggering amount considering the avaricious
nature of the opposition. They still need another $11,653.43 if they
are to reach the $50,000 needed to overcome the corporate giant FVPN
and its nasty feline mastermind P.C. Ival. Helen Aristar-Dry and
Anthony Aristar are optimistic; they hope that if control can be
regained Percival can be sent to a rehabilitation center for
megalomaniacal-inclined kitties so he can come back to work and
LINGUIST can return to normal. To help, visit:
http://linguistlist.org/donation.html

MaLingua, as always, will keep you posted of further developments with
this story.

**********************************************************************

WHAT'S COOKING AT LINGUIST

As our reporters found out, in the LINGUIST offices work has already
started to appropriately embrace the new challenge of LINGUIST Cook
Online. Two out of three offices have been equipped to serve as
kitchen units in order to test new recipes, and a ramp is being
constructed to reach the sixth-floor window of the third office that
was remodelled as a drive-through. The departmental lounge has been
changed into a cosy "LINGUIST Cafe", where junior student editors who
so far had to work for LINGUIST as unpaid volunteers can now earn
their way through college by waiting on tables. "I'm thrilled,"
admitted Sobha Siripurapu, "This is the first dollar bill I've seen
since I started working for LINGUIST. I'm gonna keep it forever!" The
menu is full of simple, yet nourishing and sophisticated dishes, which
have already achieved legendary fame among linguists worldwide. In
recognition of the great market demand, some of the recipes were
published in the form of a book under the title "The LINGUIST List
Cookbook", available from LINGUIST List Publishing Services.
(http://linguistlist.org/premiums.html)

Other student editors are also excited about the prospect of earning
real money and are very enthusiastic about their new career
path. Richard John Harvey, the former LINGUIST financial manager, now
maitre d' of the Cafe, expressed his hopes in the following words:
"There is almost certainly a probability of a promise that we'll at
least be able to regularly afford a box of donuts for the weekly
meeting, a luxury that so far has been out of our financial reach."

The development of the new business takes a great deal of devotion and
perseverance, features that, fortunately, are not scarce among the
crew. When asked about plans for the future, Zhenwei Chen told our
reporters through the clouds of steam that filled the LINGUIST C
office that he is currently preparing to enter the Iron Chef contest
and is determined to win. "Improvisation and quick reaction to
critical situations became my second nature after I worked as a
programmer for LINGUIST. The hardest part was learning to juggle the
knives." However, sometimes their dedication to the cause is stronger
than their civil obedience: editor Prashant Nagaraja was recently
arrested for attempted smuggling of large quantities of Indian spices
into the US. His official representative Lakshmi Narayanan managed to
ensure his release soon afterwards in exchange for a secret apple pie
recipe not published in the cookbook; however, the batch was lost in
the hands of a greedy immigration officer, a fact that compelled the
LINGUIST dry goods supply manager Tomoko Okuno to devise an
alternative delivery route through Japan to avoid similar incidents.

It seems that only the former moderators Helen Aristar-Dry and Anthony
Aristar cannot accept the new order. According to the reports of
student editors, they refused to have anything to do with LINGUIST
Cook Online, and, to lend weight to their opposition, decided to start
a protein-only diet as a sign of protest. "They will sit there and
just look at the donuts," commented James Yuells, glancing fearfully
around, "It's really creepy." Marisa Ferrara, through a mouthful of
cheese tortellini that she was just testing, could not agree more: "We
decided to cook all carbohydrate-charged dishes from the cookbook and
lock them in a room with Helen and Tony. The sooner they accept the
situation, the better." When approached for a comment, Anthony Aristar
loomed menacingly and, waving a German sausage at our reporter, said
only: "We'll see who gets to order the dessert."




-------------------------------- Message 2 -------------------------------

Date:  Thu, 10 Apr 2003 00:05:20 +0000
From:  linguist at linguistlist.org
Subject:  How to Donate and the LINGUIST List Hall of Fame

Help the LINGUIST Moderators recapture the site and get back to
normal. They need $50,000 to do it.

The LINGUIST List is under the umbrella of Eastern Michigan University
and as such can receive donations through the EMU Foundation, which is
a registered 501(c) Non Profit organization.  Our Federal Tax number
is 38-6005986.  These donations can be offset against your federal and
sometimes your state tax return (U.S. tax payers only).  For more
information visit the IRS Web-Site, or contact your financial advisor.

Many companies also offer a gift matching scheme, such that they will
match any gift you make to a non-profit organization.  Normally this
entails your contacting your human resources department and sending us
a form that the EMU Foundation fills in and returns to your employer.
This is generally a simple administrative procedure that doubles the
value of your gift to LINGUIST, without costing you an extra
penny. Please take a moment to check if your company operates such a
scheme.

HOW TO DONATE

You can make a contribution by selecting one of three convenient
payment methods: secure credit card form, check, or wire transfer.
You can also PLEDGE your support to LINGUIST and pay later, i.e.  send
in a check. Also, if you do not want to use a credit card, but wish to
pay in a currency other than US Dollars, you can donate via our
European bank account held in Switzerland.  See below for details:

SECURE CREDIT CARD FORM:
http://linguistlist.org/donate.html

CHECK:
Please make checks payable to 'The LINGUIST List Editorial Support
Fund'.  The address is:

The LINGUIST Editorial Support Fund
Department of English Language and Literature
612 Pray Harrold
Eastern Michigan University
Ypsilanti
MI, 48197
U.S.A.

WIRE TRANSFER:
For details on how to transfer funds by wire, please contact LINGUIST
at the address donate at linguistlist.org. Both an American and a
European bank account are available.

PLEDGE NOW, PAY LATER:
If you would like to make a pledge of support, please go to:

http://linguistlist.org/donate.html


ALREADY PLEDGED:
If you have already pledged to LINGUIST and would now like to pay by
credit card, please go to:

http://linguistlist.org/creditcard-general.html

and select 'PAY PREVIOUS PLEDGE' as the Type of Payment from the
dropdown list provided.

******************************************************

The LINGUIST List Hall of Fame

ANGELS ($1000 and over)

  Blackwell Linguist List Plus
  European Language Resources Association
  John Benjamins
  Natural Language Processing Group, Microsoft Research

	
MAINSTAYS ($100 to $1000)
		
  Adam Werle
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  Dipika Mukherjee
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  Dr. MJ Hardman
  E. Wayles Browne
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  James J.Jenkins
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  Julie Auger
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  Keren Rice
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  Laura Wagner
  Laurel Watkins
  Linda Rashidi
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  Linguistic Society of Hawai'i
  Linguistics Department - Cornell University
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  Natasha Warner
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  Patrick Chew
  Paul Chapin
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  Rebecca Larche Moreton
  Robert s. Belvin
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  Ronnie Wilbur, Purdue Linguistics Program
  Rudolph Troike
  Russell Tomlin
  Sally McConnell-Ginet
  Sarah Ross
  Satoshi Oku
  Shanley Allen
  Sharon Obeidallah
  Shirley Silver
  Stavroula Tsiplakou
  Terry Langendoen
  Theo Vennemann
  Tokyo University of Foreign Studies - English Department
  Tom Milligan
  University of Edinburgh- Department of Linguistics
  - Plus 7 anonymous donors

SUPPORTERS ($50 to $100)

  Akira Ishikawa
  Alan H. Kim
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  Alice Faber
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  Cory R C Sheedy
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  Department of Linguistics, University of Canterbury, New Zealand
  Diane Brentari
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  Graduate Students, Department of Linguistics, University of Toronto
  Grover Hudson
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  Languages, Literatures, Linguistics at Syracuse University
  Larry LaFond
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  Northeastern University Linguistics Program
  Ocke-Schwen Bohn
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  Patricia Donaher
  Paul Kerswill
  Philip LeSourd
  Philippe BARBAUD
  Pilar Pereira Barbosa
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  Ray Hudson
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  Regina Morin
  Richard Hudson
  Robert Dale
  Robert Englebretson
  Ross Clark
  Sanford Steever
  Sarah Fish
  Scott McGinnis
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  Shamila Naidoo
  Sharon L. Shelly
  Sharon M. Klein
  Sherida Altehenger-Smith
  Stan Dubinsky
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  Victoria L. Bergvall
  Virginia LoCastro
  Wally Anderson
  Wannie Carstens (on behalf of School of Languages, Potchefstroom University, South Africa)
  Yi-ching Su
  Zenzi M Griffin
  Zouhair Maalej
  - Plus 16 anonymous donors
	
DONORS (Up to $50)

  A.-M. Olsen
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  Agnes SANDOR
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  Julia Huettner
  Julia James
  Julia Penelope
  Julie Ann Osborn
  Julie Steele
  Julio Santiago
  Junji Kawai
  Justin Fitzpatrick
  Kara L. Gibson
  Katharine Beals
  Kathleen Wood
  Kathryn Hansen
  Kati Pletsch de Garcia
  Kazuha Watanabe
  Keigo Noda
  Keira Gebbie Ballantyne
  Keith GOERINGER
  Ken Nakatani
  Kent Johnson
  Kevin Bretonnel Cohen
  Kevin Varden
  Kiel Christianson
  Kira Gor
  Kleanthes K. Grohmann
  Kristen N. Asplin
  Kylie Richardson
  Lan-Hsin Chang
  Laurel LaPorte-Grimes
  Lauren Hall-Lew
  Laurence Krute
  LECARME Jacqueline
  Leonardo Oliveira
  Liang Chen
  Liang Tao
  Lilia Delfina Ruiz-Debbe
  Line Mikkelsen
  Lisa Davidson
  Lisa Minnick
  Lista 'Etnolinguistica'
  Llorenç Comajoan
  Loraine K Obler
  Loretta O'Connor
  Lorna Feldman
  Lotus Goldberg
  Louisa Chiang
  Luca Lorenzetti
  Luis Alonso-Ovalle
  Luis Gonzalez
  Luis Vicente
  Luisanna Fodde Melis
  Lynn Burley
  Lynn Santelmann
  M. Pilar García Mayo
  Ma. del, Carmen, Herrera, M.
  maire noonan
  Malcolm MacDonald
  Malcolm Ross
  Mara Henderson
  Marc Deneire
  Marek Koscielecki
  Maren Pannemann
  Maria Gouskova
  MARIANN BAKRO-NAGY
  Marianna Chodorowska-Pilch
  Marie-Josée Goulet, Joël Bourgeoys
  Marina Gorlach
  Marina Nielsen
  Mark A. Mandel
  Mark McConville
  Mark Sharp
  Martin Ehala
  Martin Kappus
  Martin Salzmann
  Mary C Gruber
  Mary Grantham O'Brien
  María, Paula, Santalla, del Río
  Matt Pearson
  Matthew H. Ciscel
  Max W. Wheeler
  Mayrene Bentley
  Meltem Kelepir
  Mengistu Amberber
  Meri Larjavaara
  Michael Brooks
  Michael Erard
  Michael Horlick
  Michael Hughes
  Michael Kliffer
  Michael L. Mazzola
  Michael Newman
  Michael Parrish Key
  Michael Pasquale
  Michael Pickering
  Michael R. Marlo
  Mihaela Pirvulescu
  Mikael Parkvall
  Miquel Simonet
  Mira Kawaletz
  Mireille Tremblay
  Miriam Meyerhoff
  Mogens Hygum Jensen
  Morris Salkoff
  Mélanie Jouitteau
  Nancy Hall
  Nancy J. Stenson
  Nancy Stern
  Nancy Wiegand
  Nanfred Gehrke
  Nathan Sanders
  Neil Bermel
  Nick Caffrey
  Nicla Rossini
  Nicolas Berthomeau
  Niki Collier
  Norbert E. Fuchs
  Notis Toufexis
  Ora Matushansky
  Paco Hernández Paricio (Univ. de Zaragoza)
  Paul Fallon, Christina Kakava
  Paul Justice
  Paul Kilpatrick
  Paul Zhang
  Paula and Darren Beck
  Paula Radetzky
  Paula W. Baird
  Pavol Stekauer
  Peter Menzel
  Peter Sells
  Phaedra Royle
  Phil Chappell
  Prisca Augustyn
  Qing Zhang
  Queen's University, Linguistics
  Rachael Allbritten
  Rachel Nordlinger
  Ranchhod, University of Lisbon
  Randall Gess
  Randy Sharp
  Raphael Berthele
  Ray LaVerghetta
  Rebecca Shields
  Rene J. Valdes
  Richard A. Winters
  Richard Schrodt
  Richard Steiner
  Richard Whitt
  Richard Wright
  Rick Lavin
  Robert Bayley
  Robert L., Clara B. Trammell
  Roberta Chase-Borgatti
  Robin Hooper
  Robin Shoaps
  Rodrigo Gutiérrez-Bravo
  Roland Noske
  Roland Pfau
  Ron Artstein
  Ronald Schaefer
  Roser Saurí Colomer
  Sabine Geldof
  Sandra W. Smith
  Sara Meilijson
  Sarah Cummins
  Sarah Harmon
  Saskia Daalder
  Scott Schwenter
  Sebastian Ross Hagebaum
  Seran Dogancay Aktuna
  Shin Ja Hwang, SIL/Graduate Institute of Applied Linguistics
  Shlomo Izre'el
  Shuki Cohen
  Silvina Montrul
  Simon Musgrave
  simon smith
  Simone Mueller
  Sky Sang-Geun Lee
  SNEDDON, James
  Stefan A. Frisch
  Stefan Rijnhart
  Steve Hartman Keiser
  Steve Poteet
  Steven Donahue Miami-Dade Community COllege
  steven h. weinberger
  Stuart Stewart
  Sue Medeiros
  Sun-Hee Lee
  Susan Fiksdal
  Susan G. Guion
  Susanne Bartke
  Susanne Gahl
  Suying Hsiao
  Suzette Haden Elgin
  Sylvana Krausse
  Tadhg '' hIfearnáin
  Taka Shinya
  Tamara Nicol
  Tamra Wysocki
  Tania Ionin
  Tanja Collet --- University of Windsor
  Tanya Ivanova
  tim collett
  Tobias Thelen
  Tom Roeper
  Tomislav Stojanov, Zagreb, Croatia
  Ton van der Wouden
  Toshihiro Sugawara
  Tracey McHenry
  Uli Reich
  Umarani Pappuswamy
  Umberto Ansaldo
  Uri Horesh
  Ute Smit
  Vern M. Lindblad
  Vernon L. Curts
  Vic Ferreira, University of California, San Diego
  Victoria Anderson
  Victoria Vázquez Rozas
  Vieri Samek-Lodovici
  Vijayarani J. Fedson
  Viktor Tron
  Vincent De Rooij
  Violetta Cavalli-Sforza
  W. Keith Winkler
  Weber Andrea
  Will Fitzgerald
  Wiltrud Mihatsch
  WIM VANDENBUSSCHE, VRIJE UNIVERSITEIT BRUSSEL
  Winifred Davies
  Xose L. Regueira
  Yuwen Lai
  Z. Bond
  Zaida A. Cintron
  Zoe Toft, Wouter Jansen
  Zsuzsanna Fagyal
  - Plus 126 anonymous donors

******************************************************

MAJOR SUPPORTING PUBLISHERS

  Blackwell Publishing
     http://www.blackwellpublishing.com
  Cambridge University Press
     http://www.cup.org
  Continuum International Publishing Group Ltd
     http://www.continuumbooks.com
  Elsevier Science Ltd.
     http://www.elsevier.com/locate/linguistics
     http://www.socscinet.com/linguistics
  John Benjamins
     http://www.benjamins.com/
     http://www.benjamins.nl
  Kluwer Academic Publishers
     http://www.wkap.nl/
     http://www.kluweronline.com
  MIT Press
     http://mitpress.mit.edu/
  Mouton de Gruyter
     http://www.degruyter.com
  Oxford University Press
     http://www.oup-usa.org/
  Rodopi
     http://www.rodopi.nl/
  Routledge (Taylor and Francis)
     http://www.routledge.com/


OTHER SUPPORTING PUBLISHERS

  CSLI Publications
     http://csli-publications.stanford.edu/
  Cascadilla Press
     http://www.cascadilla.com/
  Evolution Publishing
     http://www.evolpub.com
  Graduate Linguistic Students' Assoc., Umass
     http://server102.hypermart.net/glsa/index.htm
  International Pragmatics Assoc.
     http://ipra-www.uia.ac.be/ipra/
  Linguistic Assoc. of Finland
     http://www.ling.helsinki.fi/sky/
  MIT Working Papers in Linguistics
     http://web.mit.edu/mitwpl/
  Multilingual Matters
     http://www.multilingual-matters.com/
  Pacific Linguistics
     http://pacling.anu.edu.au/
  Palgrave Macmillan
     http://www.palgrave.com
  Pearson Longman
     http://www.pearsoneduc.com/catalog.html
  SIL International
     http://www.ethnologue.com/bookstore.asp
  St. Jerome Publishing Ltd.
     http://www.stjerome.co.uk/
  Utrecht Institute of Linguistics
     http://www-uilots.let.uu.nl/

******************************************************

INSTITUTIONS

American University of Sharjah
Bowne Global Solutions
Brigham Young University
Butler Hill Group
California State University, Dominguez Hills
City University of Hong Kong
Computer Science Innovations
Disetronic Medical Systems AG
Eastern Mediterranean University
Idilia Inc.
Indiana University
McGill University
National Tsing Hua University
Rhetorical Systems
Rochester Institute of Technology
Rutgers University
Scansoft Belgium
School of Oriental and African Studies
Seoul National University
Southern Illinois University Carbondale
Speechworks International Inc.
StreamSage
The University of Sheffield
The University of Texas at Arlington
University of Alberta
University of Amsterdam
University of Antwerp
University of Arizona
University of California, Santa Cruz
University of Edinburgh
University of Essex
University of Groningen
University of Helsinki
University of Kansas
University of Macau
University of Muenster, Germany
University of Ottawa
University of Puerto Rico
University of Rostock
University of South Florida
University of Tilburg
University of Tromso
University of Tromsø
Université du Québec en Outaouais
Université du Québec à Montréal
Uppsala University
Voice Futures

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