LL-L "Levity" 2004.05.11 (06) [E]

[Lowlands-L]

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L O W L A N D S - L * 11.MAY.2004 (06) * ISSN 189-5582 * LCSN 96-4226
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From: Wim <wkv at home.nl>
Subject: Euro English is on the way........! ( joke)


>From wim verdoold wkv at home.nl

Got this from a friend…

Euro English is on the way........!

"Euro-English"
The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will
be
the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was
the
other possibility. As part of the negotiations, Her Majesty's Government
conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has
accepted a
5-year phase-in plan that would become known as "Euro-English".

In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make
sivil servants jump with joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k".
This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.

There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the
troublesome
"ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like fotograf 20
percent
shorter.

In the third year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to
reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always
ben
a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the
silent "e" in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away.

By the fourth yer peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th"with
"z"
and "w" with "v". During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from
vords
kontaining "ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten
styl.
Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu
understand
ech oza.

Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru. If zis mad you smil, pleas pas
on
to oza pepl. Zen ve vil rul ze world!!!

(Thist is a joke, of course)

wim.

http://www.getaportal.com/portals/vanderdole/makeapage.htm

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