MLA on $5 per day

[Sibelan Forrester]

Thanks to Francoise Rosset for a nice detailed response to this issue --
she said most of the things I wanted to say (and with economy and
elegance).  I apologize in advance to anyone who'll be angry after taking
the time to read this whole message -- just erase it now if you are
supposed to be writing your final exams!

It's true that MLA is an organization with too much attitude (power
corrupts); I understand that they have become the new top-secret
governmental espionage front in the US today, since the NSA has leaked into
public discourse.  Hence the impenetrable & multicoloned panel titles and
the well-orchestrated campaign of belittlement and mockery in the
mainstream media.  ...It's way too expensive, it's a meat market (terrible
ambient stress level and people in intimidating clothes!), and it's
offensive that our organization isn't given any special access (hell, their
hotel rates even tend to be $5 or so less per night than ours).

But for all the good reasons already mentioned, lots of people will
continue to want access to MLA -- so maybe we should share strategies on
making that access cheap?  Some of my info is dated (I paid to go to MLA
the last 2 years, for reasons already mentioned), but I hope someone will
correct me if so.

1)  I've had several job interviews at MLA hotels -- but always in the
interviewers' suite upstairs, and was never challenged on my way up.  If
the place interviewing you says they're using one of the meat-market
interviewing rooms, point out gently that this may obligate you to pay $100
just to get in.  Perhaps they'll consider meeting YOU in the handiest hotel
room occupied by one of the interviewers so that you don't have to fork
over the money.  (Would a nice letter on official stationery saying "We
understand that your attendance at this interview does not obligate you to
pay the full conference registration fee" carry any weight with the goons?
-- anyone still doubt the post-NSA theory?)

2)  It appears that MLA has a special cheap rate for first time members.
If you have reaason to expect job interviews in a given year, make sure
you've joined at that rate (it used to  be $35 for new members who were
already dissertated, I think less for grad students, rather than the usual
$75 or whatever), which will mean that you get the mailings and can really
take advantage of what the MLA offers -- the directory of members, the MLA
hotels with their sometimes slightly cheaper room rates, the program with
maps of conference sites so you don't blunder into places you don't want to
go -- and register for the conference ahead of time when it's not $100.
YES it's a drag to have to fork over the money, but at least you'll get
more than a half hour's job interview visit out of it, and unfortunately
job hunting just costs money.

3)  If you want to crash a panel, try adhering to some very distinguished
looking and prominently badged senior professor on your way in -- maybe the
goons will hesitate to harass you (worked for me once).

4)  If you just want the book exhibit, I believe that you can get a badge
just to enter that for $10.  (Maybe the price has gone up?)  Now, any
Josephine off the street can get this $10 book exhibit badge, so it's
offensive that the proud AATSEEL member has no advantage over her, but at
least it's not $100.  EVEN BETTER, if you go to the booth outside the book
exhibit accompanied by someone with an MLA conference badge, they at least
_used to_ offer a free courtesy book exhibit badge, which you simply have
to return when you leave the book exhibit.  Many many thanks to Helena
Goscilo for providing a list of people who we now know are going to MLA and
can be invited for a nice stroll through the book exhibit!  And please
offer to buy them a cup of coffee to show your appreciation.  Those of you
registered for MLA:  don't be offended, look at this as a chance to garner
lots of free cups of coffee, or even free snacks, from other book-exhibit
fans.  We'll make it worth your time.

5)  It often happens that several job hunters group together to purchase a
conference badge under a nice bigendered generic name (choose a last name
full of palatals so they won't even risk calling you by it), so they can
pass it around for the job interviews.  Or borrow your conference-hopping
professor's, if you think you can carry it off.  (How many of us are
prominent enough that the MLA crowd would bat an eye to see our name on a
30-year-old?  Maybe it would leave them thinking that we're a bunch of
precocious geniuses.)  This does require some coordination and even luck
(hope no one has interviews at the same time), and also means overcoming
the suspicion of other candidates for the same job.  That can only be a
good thing -- use your networks to find people in the same boat if there
aren't enough locally -- and (as with point 2 above) plan ahead so you
aren't trying to chase down people on Dec 26.

6)  Twice I took small children to AATSEEL (when under-2 still flew free);
if you see someone in a suit holding a small child, DO NOT make comments to
your companions about how they look like tsyganka or baba iz derevni,
because those will get back to them and will tarnish YOUR karma in the
worst kind of way.
The best conference day care I've had was paying a grad student to sit in
my room with my kid during my panel -- he was happy when I got back 2 hours
later, and she made enough (I hope!) for the nice lunch her institution
wasn't reimbursing her for.
(Is organized and no doubt pricey day care one of the benefits of going to
MLA?)

7)  Use the available mentoring resources to minimize the hassle and
expense to you!  ("What mentoring resources?"  Try for example
<http://ash.swarthmore.edu/slavic/mentors.html> -- though this year a lot
of people on that list aren't going to Toronto, and you'll have to be
careful not to pick a political scientist.)  The messages Helena's post
generated show how many of us have been burned by both the MLA stance and
the general expense and hassle of conferences that our institutions don't
support as much as we need -- and I'm sure a lot of us would love to get
even, in a small way, by helping YOU beat the system.  Even sharing a taxi
from the airport or a ride from Stateside can help a tight budget -- and
mentoring in terms of concrete advice or networking for conference
advantage is just as much mentoring as saying nice things about the third
chapter of your dissertation.

8)  I have to say that some of the things on Helena's list look fabulous --
if people who can't afford to go to MLA want to attend one or another of
those panels, why not look around for distinguished-looking senior people
(the person who taught you "French for Graduate Reading" might be
delighted) to adhere to through the fateful entry phase?  Or organize a
large party of Slavists to enter together and intimidate the goons with
sheer numbers? (nas t'my i t'my i t'my)

9)  Let me add gently, a propos of some of the preceding messages, that a
lot of us can't help having feet in both language teaching and lit crit --
because otherwise we wouldn't have jobs; and our not having jobs would NOT
help the language part of the profession, either.  It's not at all that we
don't appreciate the value of the instrumental case, or clitics, or
proficiency testing.  In fact maybe those of us who go into the MLA should
do our part by talking about those things, loudly, in the hotel hallways.
Make 'em nervous.

10)  Any conference venue in the country is going to discommode a lot of
people -- let's not be provincial & imply that having the conference in
Canada a mere four years after the last time is a bad thing.  Especially
considering passport and visa issues that I won't go into because I can
imagine what stories it might invite.