Platonov translation question: A tam poglyadim, o chem ty bol'she toskuesh.

[Robert Chandler]

- о чем ты больше тоскуешь.... /
...what are you missing most...

K.Peitlova,Ph.Dr. 

            ****************

Thank you, Katrina, but 'missing' does not really convey the most important
idea: that work will be assigned to Dvanov according to what it is that he
most longs for/yearns for.

A friend has written the following:
> Perhaps, "And then, we'll see what your heart ends up being up to" or even,
> "what yearn your heart's up to." I think, having a whiff of Symbolist
> vocabulary -- deliberately out of context, amidst crass and colloquial
> expressions -- is Platonov's trademark -- and not only his but, as always, his
> characters' as well.
Her first suggestion is good, though perhaps a little fiddly.  Maybe just
'what your heart's up to'.

        **********************

Here are a few lines from our translation-in-progress of CHEVENGUR.  It is
1919 or 1920, Dvanov has just joined the Party, and he has been sent by the
Party to the town of Novokhopersk.  He has just arrived there and gone to
the RevCom:

"A mechanic from the depot, the chairman of the RevCom, said to Dvanov,
‘Revolution is risk.  If it doesn’t work out, we’ll churn up the soil and
leave only clay.  Let every son of a bitch fend for himself if things don’t
go well for the workers.’

Dvanov was given no particular task.  They just said, ‘Live here with us,
we’ll all get by better.  Then we can see what your heart wants.’"

There are, no doubt, any number of things that could be improved, but what
most concerns me is the direct speech at the end.  The original reads: живи
тут с анми, всем будет лучше, а там поглядим, о чем ты больше тоскуешь.  Тhe
3 most difficult things here are:
1) the usual problem with translating toska and toskovat'.  I have elsewhere
simply transliterated 'toska' -- but I don't think this will work in direct
speech.
2) поглядим, rather than посмотрим is a little odd, isn't it?  It somehow
seems to ask to be taken more literally -- or am I imagining this?
3) the word больше, with its implication that people will have to assess how
much toska Dvanov feels for different things, is really quite funny.

Our present tr. 'Then we can see what your heart wants.' is simply the least
bad we have been able to come up with.  I'll be grateful for any
suggestions!

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