A difficult passage from KOTLOVAN

[Andrey Shcherbenok]

I have reservations about both your translations of "dvigaias' v meru
obshchego stroia". "Stroi" strikes me here as suggesting not so much the
column as organization, order, mood, with strong connotations of music
(stroi = pitch, tone, harmony). So, maybe "moving in tune with the common
order" -- or "shared order" -- would be better.

Andrey

 
-----Original Message-----
From: SEELANGS: Slavic & East European Languages and Literatures list
[mailto:SEELANGS at bama.ua.edu] On Behalf Of Robert Chandler
Sent: Saturday, December 06, 2008 2:04 PM
To: SEELANGS at bama.ua.edu
Subject: [SEELANGS] A difficult passage from KOTLOVAN

Dear all,

This passage contains several particular difficulties, which I have
underlined.  I would be grateful for any suggestions!

The Pioneer orchestra, having distanced itself from the town,
('otdalivshis''  - setting out into the distance??) began to play the music
of a young military campaign (march?? 'pokhoda').  Precisely in step,
conscious of the importance of their future, the barefoot little girls
marched past the forge; their frail, maturing (manly?? 'muzhayushchie tela')
bodies were clothed in sailor suits, red berets lay freely and easily on
their thoughtful, attentive heads and their legs were covered with the down
of youth.  Each of the little girls moving along with the column (moving in
the column's common measure?? - 'dvigayas's v meru obshchego stroya') was
smiling from a sense of her own significance, an awareness of the
seriousness of the life clenching itself tight (szhimayushcheisya v nei
zhizni) within her - a life essential both to the unity of the column and to
the power of the march.

Оркестр пионеров, отдалившись, заиграл музыку молодого похода. Мимо кузницы,
с сознанием важности своего будущего, ступали точным маршем босые девочки;
их слабые, мужающие тела были одеты в матроски, на задумчивых, внимательных
головах вольно возлежали красные береты и их ноги были покрыты пухом юности.
Каждая девочка, двигаясь в меру общего строя, улыбалась от чувства своего
значения, от сознания серьезности сжимающейся в ней жизни, необходимой для
непрерывности строя и силы похода.

Тhanks very much, in advance!

Robert

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