A comical writing about spellings in English...;-)

[Valerie Sutton]

SignWriting List
April 10, 2006

Dear SW List members!
I am a member of other Lists, including the Interpreters List, which  
is called the Terps List...

Today on the Terps List someone posted this wonderful comic writing  
about English spellings and how they could change, and still be  
logical...

Since our List talks about spellings in other languages, this shows  
some of the problems that every writing system has...I got such a big  
grin...I wanted to share it with you...I hope you enjoy it too! This  
is a joke I believe...I don't believe the European Commission has  
done any of this! ;-))

--------------------------


Date: April 10, 2006
To: terps-l <terps-l at majordomo.valenciacc.edu>
Subject: [terps-l] Just sharing a cause to smile

This was too good not to pass on.

Read this out loud.
The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby  
English will be the official language of the European Union rather  
than German, which was the other possibility. As part of the  
negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling  
had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5- yea r phase-in  
plan that would become known as "Euro-English".

In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c".

Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard  
"c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up  
konfusion , and keyboards kan have one less letter.

There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the  
troublesome "ph" will be re placed with "f". This will make words  
like fotograf 20% shorter.

In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be  
expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.

Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have  
always ben a deterent to akurate speling.

Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the  
languag is disgrasful and it should go away.

By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th"  
with "z" and "w" with "v".

During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords  
kontaining "ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl  
riten styl.

Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu  
understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.

Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in  
ze forst plas.

IF ZIS MAD YOU SMIL, PLEAS PAS ON TO OZA PEPL.
-------------- next part --------------
An HTML attachment was scrubbed...
URL: <http://listserv.linguistlist.org/pipermail/sw-l/attachments/20060410/ca0fa594/attachment.html>