The Way We Live Now

Wayne Glowka wglowka at MAIL.GCSU.EDU
Thu Apr 29 16:27:00 UTC 1999

The following is not direct comment on language, but may nonetheless be
relevant to much of what we do.

Wayne Glowka

Signs That You've  Had TOO MUCH Of The 90's

* You try to enter your password on the microwave.
* You now think of three espressos as "getting wasted."
* You haven't played solitaire with a real deck of cards in years.
* You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of 3.
* You e-mail your son in his room to tell him that dinner
  is ready, and he emails you back "What's for dinner?"
* Your daughter sells Girl Scout Cookies via her web site.
* You chat several times a day with a stranger from South
  Africa, but you haven't spoken to your next door neighbor yet this
* You didn't give your valentine a card this year, but you posted one   for
your email buddies via a Web page.
* Your daughter just bought on CD all the records your college   roommate
used to play that you most despised.
* Every commercial on television has a web-site address at
  the bottom of the screen.
* You buy a computer and a week  later it is out of date
  and now sells for half the price you paid.
* The concept of using real money, instead of credit or
  debit, to make a purchase is foreign to you.
* Cleaning up the dining area means getting the fast food
  bags out of the back seat of your car.
* Your reason for not staying in touch with family is that
  they do not have e-mail addresses.
* You consider 2nd day air delivery painfully slow.
* You refer to your dining room table as the flat filing cabinet.
* Your idea of being organized is multiple colored post-it notes.
* You hear most of your jokes via email instead of in person.

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