pardon this, codger!

[RonButters at AOL.COM]

Dennis Preston writes:

<< [1]. "Offensiveness" is also in both brains,
sender and receiver. ... [2]. we also should probably try to avoid items
which will offend others, and  [3]. I assume, and I think rightfully, that
those who belong to classes which may be offended are the ones who get to say
whether items are
offensvie or not (just like American Poles get to say how to pronounce their
names, and speakers of Polish like me who think we know better can go sit on
it).>>

Concerning [1], I'd like to make the distinction that dictionaries make:
"offensive" is only in the mind of the hearer, while "disparaging" is in the
mind of the speaker as well. You can find something offensive that I do not
intend to be offensive. But if something I say is "disparaging," I intended
the offense.

Concerning [2], since when do grammarians concern themselves with "should" in
this absolute imperative sense? Is it our business to pass moral judgment on
language use? "Should" we also not split infinitives? Nah! Speakers certainly
"should" try not to use terms that others will find offensive--except when
they decide that they want to BE offensive (i.e., unless they chose to say
disparaging things). As Dennis knows (because he has studied discourse
analysis and conversational interaction), most people most of the time in
fact DO go to great lengths to avoid giving conversational offense. That is,
we normally DO "try to avoid items which will offend others"--that is normal
linguistic behavior. But what we "should" do is outside the scope of
linguistics.

Concerning [3], it just ain't that simple. Whether, say, "Hoosier" or
"cornhusker" is taken as offensive depends a lot on context: who is doing the
talking, what are the circumstances, and who is deciding whether something is
offensive or not? Even the worst ethnic slur in America (the "N" word) can be
uttered without giving offense. Some homosexuals are offended by "queer,"
some are offended if one doesn't use it. Some "Hispanics" don't like that
term, some don't like "Latino." I seriously doubt that many people are
offended if a Polish name is not pronounced to their liking--though they may
be annoyed.

--Ron Butters [a faggot who will be grumpy if Dennis does not pronounce my
surname Boo-TEHRZ from now on]