Sports books (more)

[Bapopik at AOL.COM]

FIFTY YEARS BEHIND THE MICROPHONE--THE LES KEITER STORY (1991) by Les Keiter

Pg. 99  I have no idea where radio broadcasters came up with their
oft-repeated phrases...they just sort of happened.  "How 'bout that?" was
classic Mel Allen.  "Holy Cow!" is pure Phil Rizzuto.  (Pg. 100)  My favorite
phrase ever was San Franciscan Jack McDonald's term for a home run: "Out Aunt
Maggie's window!"
     Here is a brief dictionary of basketball Keiterisms fans have not
forgotten:
     _"Tickling the twine."_  That's a basket where the ball doesn't even
touch the rim, just swishes the net.  I don't know when I launched the term,
but it was a staple all through the Big Five years.
     _"Ring-tailed howitzer."_  That's an off-balance shot that a player gets
off at the last possible second as he falls.  Of course it is.  What else
could it be?
     _"In-Again-Out-Again-Finnegan."_  Anyone knows that.  It's a ball that
rolls around the hoop a few times and then pops out again.  Simple.
     _"Let's check the arithmetic!"_  The score, the stats, whatever.
(Compare to "Do the math"--ed.)
     _"It's in the air...it's in the basket!"_  A good example of a phrase
with radio roots.  When you had the time to get a sentence like that off,
everyone knew without being told that it was a thirty-footer.
     _"There's a lid on the bucket tonight!"_  A low-scoring game.
     _"Welcome to Panicsville, USA!"_  That was my traditional sign-on for
Big Five games at the Palestra.  It was self-explanatory, and said with great
affection.  The games there were as exciting as basketball gets.

Pg. 147  _More Keiterisms_
     _He strrrrrruck him ouuuuut!_  In baseball, when a batter strikes out,
you stick six r's and stretch it ouuuuut.
     _He beat the ball.  He beat the ball.  He beat the ball!_  THat's when a
base runner steals a base and is safe in a close play.
     _Here comes the runner, here comes the ball, here comes the runner, here
comes the ball, and he's OUT!_  That's a play where the baserunner is trying
to get to the next base and is called out on a close play.
     _Back, back, back, BOOM!  Off the wall._  That's a line drive that
bounces off the outfield wall as the runner goes for extra bases.
     _Back, back, back, and it's OVER THE FENCE for a home run._  The action
clearly illustrates a ball hit high and long, with the outfielder giving
chase, and the ball sailing out of the park.
     _Wave that shilelagh._  That's when the batter is in the batter's box
swinging the bat waiting for the pitcher to deliver the ball.
     _He rammy-crackled the fastball._  That's a pitch that was really hit
hard by the batter.
     Les Keiter Interview, January 23, 1991

------------------------------------------------------------------------------
---------------------------------------------
VITALE (1988) by Dick Vitale

Pg. 301  THE DICKY DO'S AND DON'T'S GLOSSARY (Basketball--ed.)

Area code J--The jump shot from three-point range, or any shot taken from
another area code.
AT--Air Time.
AWOL--Absent without leave.  A mystery player who has again disappeared from
the game.
(Pg. 302)
Blender--Mixes perfectly.  A good role-player.
Brick City--Throwing rocks.  Shooting poorly.
Carl Lewis--A speedster.
Creampuff Delight--Automatic victory.  Weak team a stronger one has no
business playing.
Crunch Time--The stretch.  The last four minutes of the game.
Cupcake--See Creampuff Delight.
Dipsy-Doo Dunkaroo--A flashy, spectacular, acrobatic dunk, usually from close
in.
Doughnut Offense--Hole in the middle.  A team without a center.
Dow Joneser--An up and down player, like the stock market.  Hot one night,
cold the next.  A yo-yo man.
Drilling Reggies When You Need Pete Roses--Going for the long bombs instead
of moving in and getting higher-percentage shots.
Fan or Funnel--the defense forcing the ball either to the sideline or to the
middle of the lane, respectively.
Finalize--to finish the transition; steals and fast breaks don't mean much if
you don't get the points at the end.
Flash to the Gap--Move to the open areas of the defense.
Glass Eater--strong rebounder.
High-Riser--One who plays at another level, a la Michael Jordan.
Human Spaceship--A guy with a wide body ready to explode.
Ice the Shooter--To call time-out before a foul shot, usually a crucial one,
to make the shooter think about the situation.
Indianapolis Raceway--Playing at the fast pace up and down the floor, a la
Indy 500.
Isolation Man--A one-on-one player.
J--The jump shot.
M & M'er--Mismatch.
Matador Defense--Waving as the dribbler drives by.
Maestro Man--The conductor, the orchestra leader.  The point guard making it
all happen.
(Pg. 303)
Marconi Special--Telegraphing the pass.  You can see from thirty feet away
where the man will throw the ball.
Maalox Time--Last minute of a close game.  The stomach is churning.  (Not
Maalox Moment?--ed.)
Monster Mash--A vicious dunk, ramming it down onto somebody, usually with two
hands.
NBN--Nothing But Net.  Also Nothing But Nylon.
NC'er--No COntest.
Pac Man--A guy chewing up the other side on defense.
PT--Playing Time.
PTP or PTP'er--Prime-Time Performer.
Penetrate the Seams--Find the openings in a zone defense and drive.
Pine Time--Sitting on the bench.
Pink Slip--The rejection special, a blocked shot.
QT--Quality Time.
R & R--Rip and Run in fast-break style.
The Rack--As in "take it to..."--the basket.
Rock and Roll Time--Crowd outburst at a big momentum play.
Shake and Bake--Fancy one-on-one moves.
Slam Bam Jam--An exciting dunk, usually on a fast break.
Slasher--A driver, penetrator.
Space Eater--A guy with a wide body.
Strawberry Shortcake--After a good season, the NCAA tournament.
Surf and Turf--A great player.  Eating big time.  Club 21.
TO--Time-out.
Three-D Man--Drive, draw and dish: Someone who can penetrate to the basket,
draw the defense to him, and dish the ball off to an open man.
Tickle the Twine--Shot hits NBN.  (See the Keiter above, who is not given
credit--ed.)
Times Square--A lot of congestion.  Playing a slow-paced, deliberate offense.
Transition--Running up and down the floor changing from offense to defense or
vice versa.
Uncle Mo--Momentum has arrived in the form of a slam dunk or big block or an
eight-point run.
(Pg. 304)
Velvet Touch--Sweet shooter, silky and smooth.
W or L--Win or Loss.
Wilson Sandwich--A huge blocked shot inside, forcing the shooter to
practically eat the ball.  Sometimes called a Spalding facial.
ZZZ Time--Sleeptime.  The game is terrible.
The Ziggy--If you don't know by now...

------------------------------------------------------------------------------
---------------------------------------------
FASTEST KID ON THE BLOCK--THE MARTY GLICKMAN STORY (1996) by Marty Glickman

Pg. 74  ..."Swish!"  I got this from the ballplayers.  I used to work out
with them.  I would stand beside Sonny Hertzberg or Leo Gottlieb of the
Knicks, and we'd shoot set shots.  When one would go in, they would say,
"swish!"

(Glickman comments on other announcers and states that Dick Vitale is the
best argument yet to turn off the sound on a televised game--ed.)

------------------------------------------------------------------------------
---------------------------------------------
THANKS FOR LISTENING! (1986) by Jack Brickhouse

(Pg. ?)  Ross Hodge's "Bye-Bye Baby" (home run call-ed.) (...)
     One day in the 1950s, Hank Sauer hit a homer for the Cubs and I looked
at my monitor.  The words "Hey-Hey" were filling up the screen.   I had been
saying it without realizing it and the crew decided to call me on it.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------
---------------------------------------------
TOP TEN REASONS THIS HAS NOT BEEN A GOOD WEEK
#9--THE NEW YORK PUBLIC LIBRARY

     The databases have changed.  English Drama and English Poetry have now
combined into Literature Online, which has Drama, Poetry, and Prose or ALL
choices.  This makes it easier, although the service operated much slower.
     While checking a database in the New York Public Library, I felt
something on my leg just above my sock.  I used my hand, and a roach scooted
away.  I immediately called over a librarian, who took my call slip (I've got
to request that book again) and killed the first roach we found.  "That's the
one!" I said.  (There was no food around--another librarian said they like to
eat paper.)
     Another roach appeared, and the librarian killed that one, too.
     I was looking up "guilt by association."