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[Bob Fitzke]

>> >  WORDS THAT DON'T EXIST BUT SHOULD
>> >  ---------------------------------
>> >  1. Aquadextrous (akwa deks' trus) adj. Possessing the ability
>> >  to turn the bathtub faucet on and off with your toes.
>> >
>> >  2. Carperpetuation (kar 'pur pet u a shun) n. The act, when
>> >  vacuuming, of running over a string or a piece of lint at least
>> >  a dozen times, reaching over and picking it up, examining it,
>> >  then putting it back down to give the vacuum one more chance.
>> >
>> >  3. Disconfect (diskonfect') v. To sterilize the piece of candy
>> >  you dropped on the floor by blowing on it, assuming that somehow
>> >  it will 'remove' all the germs.
>> >
>> >  4. Elbonics (el bon' iks) n. The actions of two people
>> >  maneuvering for one armrest in a movie theater.
>> >
>> >  5. Frust (frust) n. The small line of debris that refuses to be
>> >  swept onto the dustpan and keeps backing a person across the
>> >  room until he finally decides to give up and sweep it under the
>> >  rug.
>> >
>> >  6. Lactomangulation (lak' to man gyu lay' shun) n. Manhandling
>> >  the 'open here' spout on a milk container so badly that one has
>> >  to resort to the 'illegal' side.
>> >
>> >  7. Peppier (pehp ee ay') n. The waiter at a fancy restaurant
>> >  whose sole purpose seems to be walking  around asking diners if
>> >  they want ground pepper.
>> >
>> >  8. Phonesia (fo nee' zhuh) n. The affliction of dialing a phone
>> >  number and forgetting whom you were calling just as they answer.
>> >
>> >  9. Pupkus (pup' kus) n. The moist residue left on a window
>> >  after a dog presses its nose to it.
>> >
>> >  10. Telecrastination (tel e kras tin ay' shun) n. The act of
>> >  always letting the phone ring at least twice before you pick
>> >  it up, even when you're only six inches away.