Easy as pie

[Anne Lambert]

In a children's book I wrote once (never published) a magician says that he can
go around the earth in 3.14 (whatever)_ seconds, "namely, pi. So, instead of
saying 'as easy as pie,' we should really say 'as quickly as pi.'"

Bapopik at AOL.COM wrote:

> EASY AS PIE
>
>     Christine Ammer's AHDOI has:
>
> _easy as pie_  Also, _easy as falling_ or _rolling off a log_.  (...)  Mark
> Twain had it in _A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur's Court_ (1889): "I
> could do it as easy as rolling off a log."  The first colloquial term dates
> from the early 1900s, the colloquial variants from the 1830s.  For a synonym,
> see PIECE OF CAKE.
>
>     The AMERICAN KITCHEN MAGAZINE, March 1898, Miscellaneous, pg. xxviii,
> col. 1, has an ad for Enterprise Raisin and Grape Seeder:
>
> _AS EASY AS PIE_
>    Raisins can be seeded quick as a wink, ready for pie or cake--every seed
> coming out clean.
>
> ------------------------------------------------------------------------------
> ---------------------------------------------
> CHESS PIE (continued)
>
>      Another recipe for "Chess Pie" is in the AMERICAN KITCHEN MAGAZINE,
> February 1899, pg. 170, col. 2.
>      I'm a chess master; the recipe looks pretty easy to me.
>
> ------------------------------------------------------------------------------
> ---------------------------------------------
> DOUGHNUTS/ CRULLERS/ FRIED CAKES/ POVERTY CAKES/ RAISED DOUGHNUTS/ SINKERS/
> FRIED HOLES
>
>      From the AMERICAN KITCHEN MAGAZINE (taken from THE WATCHMAN), September
> 1898, pg. xxiv, col. 2:
>
>      "It amuses me to hear you call them crullers," said Mr. Haskins.  "Now
> in Boston, we never think of calling them anything but doughnuts.  But I
> suppose the influence of the Dutch settlers of New Amsterdam--"
>      "Why don't you give them a name that means something?  They're fried
> cakes--nothing more or less.  Anybody in Connecticut will tell you that,"
> interrupted Mr. Chesterfield, the floor walker.  (See "friedcakes" in DARE,
> which also gives "doughnut, cruller"--ed.)
>      "I'm afraid you gentlemen are not given to nice discriminations,"
> remarked Mr. Collamore, the young lawyer at the right of the landlady.
> "There's a great difference between a cruller and a doughnut.  A cruller is
> sort of twisted, and is solid; but a doughnut is round and has a hole in it.
> Now these are--"
>      "It always makes me laugh to hear men discuss any questions of cookery,"
> chirped up Mrs. Riggs, the stenographer.  "They see only the outside, and
> never notice the essential things.  Now let me tell you the difference
> between crullers and doughnuts.  A cruller is much richer and 'shorter' than
> a doughnut.  It is made with eggs, while a doughnut isn't.  The shape has
> nothing to do with it.  A doughnut is made of plain dough--"
>      "Why, that's what we used to call 'poverty-cakes' up in Vermont!"
> exclaimed Mr. Plunkett, the drug clerk.  (DARE?--ed.)
>      "I was about to say," resumed Mr. Riggs, severely, "that doughnuts are
> made of plain dough, raised as bread is raised, while crullers are not
> raised--"
>      "But down in the State of Maine we have what we call plain doughnuts and
> what we call raised doughnuts, both," said the medical student.  (DARE?--ed.)
>      "And out in Chicago we call those things 'sinkers,'" said the tall,
> long-haired man at the foot of the table as he pointed to the plate.
> (DARE?--ed.)
>       The debate lasted long and grew eloquent.  In the midst of it there was
> the sound of a chair pushed back and a satisfied sigh.  The new boarder, a
> boy--just a plain boy who was learning the hardware business--got up and
> remarked, as he slid out the door, "Them things may be doughnuts, or
> crullers, or fried cakes, or poverty cakes, but they're awful good.  I ain't
> had any before since I left home.  That's why I ate so many.  We used to call
> 'em 'fried holes.'"
>      The eyes of the boarders turned toward the plate in the centre of the
> table.  It contained only a little powdered sugar.  The boy had listened to
> the discussion, but he had not allowed it to divert him from more momentous
> matters.
>      "I believe that boy will do real well in the hardware business," said
> Mrs. Skinner, after a painful pause.