SIGNIFICANT OTHER: Increasingly Significant Issue

[Duane Campbell]

On Thu, 11 Apr 2002 18:40:27 -0400 "Joanne M. Despres"
>
> I hear (and use) "partner" a lot, and also the plural "others"
> (oft.
> Cap) to refer generically to an individual's multiple partners <he
> should consult his Others before initiating a new relationship>.

I have found this discussion particularly useful. My wife is the
executive director of a women's crisis center --- well, technically a
person's crisis center for grant-writing purposes -- and I do their
newsletter (under the condition that no one EVER knows that I do it).

Given the nature of their business, they have a mandate to be
non-judgmental. Unlike me, who grew up with the old-fogyish idea that a
relationship is a man and a woman getting legally married and staying
together no matter what (and believe me, there have been some Whats in
the last forty years). The newsletter must be inclusive.

The practical effect, for an editor, of this inclusiveness is an increase
of perhaps ten percent in the word count of any article, by the time you
add in the hises and herses and spouses and mates and partners and SOs
and SLQs and such.

Occasionally when I am hidden away in my study putting together the
newsletter, we have conversations regarding the convoluted verbiage,
usually not requiring hospitalization. Given her position and my
activistic attitude, we seldom agree.  I always give in, of course. (I
told you we'd been married - or "together" in today's parlance - nearly
40 years.)

But I would like to thank you, Joanne, for giving us the opportunity for
a rare  moment of agreement. "Others" will not be added to the
stultifying list of alternative relationships in the newsletter.

At least not yet.

D