All-Candy Diet

[Bapopik at AOL.COM]

   (Just a minute, let me put down the Ben & Jerry's.  One day, I've got to
sue those guys.)
   A stupid article appeared in an October 2002 NEW YORK POST about an "all
candy diet."  A few crazy New York City women skip meals by eating sugar
instead.
   (Just a minute.  It looks like I've run out of Haagen Daz in the freezer.
This is a tragedy.  Back to the post.)
   Nutritionists are aghast, but dentists just love the diet.  I thought the
whole thing was pretty stupid, and thought no more of it.  Then my January
2003 WIRED magazine arrived this week.  (A New Jersey Nets player is on the
cover of WIRED.  The Nets usually can't get on the cover of BASKETBALL
magazines.  We must be near the apocalypse.  I digress, but I'm short of
chocolate.)
   Pg. 48:

WIRED            TIRED              EXPIRED
all-candy diet   all-protein diet   cabbage-coup diet

   Here's a Googled article that was published last month in PITT NEWS.  A
bad newspaper publishes a dumb article about a few people and it's a _new
trend_:


The sweet taste of the all-candy diet
Pourquoi?
by LESLIE HOFFMAN
November 01, 2002

What if you could eat Necco wafers for breakfast, Swedish fish for lunch and
Reese's peanut butter cups for dinner and still lose weight? This isn't a
solution to finishing off a giant bag of Halloween candy in one day, it's a
new trend. It turns out many young women are now resorting to a new method of
weight loss, "The All-Candy Diet," to shed pounds and fulfill their cravings.
In a recent article featured on Anythingbut.com, a reporter interviewed many
professional young women in New York City who have to maintain their weight
and find it easiest to do through primarily eating or supplementing their
diets with sugary delights. We're not talking about women who sneak a Hershey
bar to satisfy a late afternoon sugar low, but women who obtain most of their
calories from candy: gummy bears, Sugar Daddies and Jelly Bellies. One photo
editor in her thirties admitted a special craving for chewy Spree candy. "If
I'm eating something before dinner," she said, "I'll go for candy. And then
you've eaten so much candy that you're not even hungry!" Of course you're not
hungry - you've done just what your mother always warned you about: you've
spoiled your dinner. While the idea of chowing down on Cherry Clan candies
and Lemonheads may seem appetizing, it of course is not as tasty as it seems.
Serious health complications arise in adults who malnourish themselves by
eating too much candy. In addition to the health problems you'd expect such
as cavities, adults who eat too much sugar position themselves to be prime
candidates for diabetes. These women - young professionals - all know the
health risks associated with just eating candy, but they do it anyway. It's
not surprising to learn that it's young people who are resorting to this
diet. Candy has a cheerful, colorful image that is associated with youth and
innocence - ever wonder why parents just let their kids eat as much candy as
they want on Halloween night? And as a child, didn't you ever wonder why your
parents didn't eat as much candy as you did? The Food Network recently
presented a special about the candy business; candy companies rely heavily on
informal taste tests presented to children. Considering this country's
consumer lifestyle, it shouldn't be all that surprising that we have young
people eating up Jelly Bellies like they're going out of style. It's simply
indicative of our capacity for overindulgence. Maybe the dangerous aspect of
this particular diet isn't that it's "All-Candy," but that it relies on only
one indulgence - if my diet consisted only of steak, I'd probably lose weight
just because my body was lacking other important nutrients. The issue here is
balance, both nutritional and cultural. Our cultural excesses are manifested
in our personal lives. What if they start to kill us? Eating a grab bag of
sugary confections for breakfast, lunch and dinner may be appealing, but it
will never be a proper substitute for a well-balanced meal?

(OF COURSE IT'S A BALANCED DIET!  THEY EAT "BEANS" AND "BEARS"!!!!--ed.)