hello ! (I say goodbye)

[Bapopik at AOL.COM]

   This is surely a joke?  Who wrote this article--Allen Koenigsberg?  Woody 
Allen?
   Surely, someone remembers the 1834 "hello" I posted here, way back in the 
pre-computer database days?
    What makes things worse is that the author of this piece actually 
contacted the OED and was given nonsense:
  

It was time to check the authoritative Oxford Dictionary of the English 
Language (unabridged), which gives the first use of every word in English. The 
earliest appearance of the word "hello" was given as 1883, in a book by John Hay 
entitled ‘Breadwinners’ (which had appeared monthly in Century Magazine). 
There the word was used in conversation: "Hello, Andy! you asleep?" Well, the game 
was now afoot who was right - the Oxford or Francis Jehl?

Just to be on the safe side, we contacted the editors of the OED in England 
to see if any earlier dates had turned up since the set was printed - and to 
explain a puzzling 1854 reference in the Shorter OED. We were informed that the 
1854 given was a "rogue date" (incorrect), and that 1883 was the earliest 
verified date they had.
(...)
The search continued in the AT&T Archives until paydirt was struck. Edison 
had written a short note on August 15, 1877 to T.B.A. David, president of the 
Central District and Printing Telegraph Company of Pittsburg, Pa., who was 
preparing to introduce the telephone into that city shortly after Edison had 
invented the carbon button transmitter. The brief - and now historic letter - which 
refers to a model Edison was making for him, reads as follows:

"Friend David, I do not think we shall need a call bell as Hello! can be 
heard 10 to 20 feet away. What you think? Edison - P.S. first cost of sender & 
receiver to manufacture is only $7.00."

This short message contains the first authenticated occurrence and spelling 
of "Hello" in the English language    
(...)
What can one conclude from all of this? It seems that a slang word "hullo" 
was developing in the mid-1800's to express surprise and as a means of calling 
attention, and that Edison was indeed the first to spell it "Hello" in the 1877 
letter to T. B. A. David. This usage was picked up at Menlo Park where Edison 

  
  
   Yep, Edison wrote the first "hello" in 1877.  If we search Wright American 
Fiction 1851-1875,  we're going to find zero hits, like this:
    
Your simple search in Wright American Fiction, 1851-1875 resulted in 434 
matches in 207 records   
  
  
   Maybe I should schedule more days of parking tickets?