Computer proverbs - backlash

[James A. Landau]

At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly
compared the computer industry with the auto industry and
stated, "If GM had kept up with technology like the computer
industry has, we would all be driving $25 cars that got 1,000
miles to the gallon."

In response to Bill's comments, General Motors issued a press
release stating: If GM had developed technology like Microsoft,
we would all be driving cars with the following characteristics:

1. For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash twice a day.

2. Every time they repainted the lines in the road, you would
have to buy a new car.

3. Occasionally, your car would die on the freeway for no
reason. You would have to pull over to the side of the road,
close all of the windows, shut off the car, restart it, and
reopen the windows before you could continue.
For some reason you would simply accept this.

4. Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn would
cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case
you would have to reinstall the engine.

5. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was
reliable, five times as fast and twice as easy to drive - but
would run on only five percent of the roads.

6. The oil, water temperature, and alternator warning lights
would all be replaced by a single "This Car Has Performed An
Illegal Operation" warning light.

7. The airbag system would ask, "Are you sure?" before deploying.

8. Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock
you out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted
the door handle, turned the key and grabbed hold of the radio
antenna.

9. Every time a new car was introduced, car buyers would have to
learn how to drive all over again because none of the controls
would operate in the same manner as the old car.

10. You'd have to press the "Start" button to turn the engine off.

(source unknown)

      - James A. Landau