March-off

[James A. Landau]

I am away from my usual computer at the moment so I have to do this post from
memory:

There has been discussion recently of bake-offs, etc.  (A cook-off, by the
way, is a serious accident with a machine gun.)  Last night I attended a
march-off.  It was the talented Mainland High School marching band (I won't say what
things they are talented at)  which started off their concert by having their
drum major and majorette give rapid-fire orders and retiring everyone who made
a mistake until there was only one person left standing.  It came down to a
trumpeter and three members of the color guard, but the color guard made a
collective mistake and the trumpeter won.

This, I am told, is an annual event, so "march-off" is not to be considered
as a candidate for WOTY.

The majorette, interestingly, wore a formal gown with a tubular skirt.

Yes, the Mainland High School marching band now includes a set of brake drums
(said facetiously to be the instrument used by the conductor to slow down the
tempo).

A piece of non-verbal communication:  the band members wear horse-hair
plumes, probably faux but which would make Achilles jealous.  Except for the tuba
players.  The bell of the tuba would knock a plumed helmet off, so the tuba
players wear black berets instead.  Everyone agrees that they look like they just
joined the Army.

How can I convince my daughter that the US Army wears berets rather than
barettes?

One of the band members told me that due to spam he was getting a new e-mail
address from hotmail.com.  However due to a slip of the tongue that he failed
to notice, he said "hormel.com".

      - Jim Landau