So Hot and So Cold

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JOHNNY CARSON:  It was cold.
ED McMAHON:  How cold was it?
JOHNNY CARSON:  It was so cold that...
--Typical lines from THE TONIGHT SHOW

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SO COLD

   From the NEW YORK SUN, 26 January 2004, "10 Class Clowns Get an Early Shot
at the Big Time,", pg. 2, col. 5:

   There were some notable one-liners.  From Kyle Cardi-Kinzer, 12, who said
he wants to be a comic because it's a good way to "pick up chicks":
"Scientists are saying it's so cold that lawyers have their hands in their own pocket
s."

   Ha-ha!  A crooked lawyer joke.  Hilarious.
   THE SUN thought so much of the joke that it highlighted it in column
three.
   I checked Google for "lawyer," "hands," and "so cold."  There are over
7,100 hits.  The kid stole the joke and got praise from THE SUN.
   I wrote a letter to the editor.  My last letter to the editor of THE SUN
told them that the word "jazz" was not common American slang before the Civil
War.  It wasn't published and no correction appeared.

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SO HOT

   It was so hot that you could fry an egg on the sidewalk.  Does Fred
SHapiro have that?


(WWW.NEWSPAPERARCHIVE.COM)
Reno Evening Gazette - 7/6/1929
...Even when It is so hot you could FRY AN EGG ON THE SIDEWALK, someONe
always remembers.....back when It was so hot you could FRY two EGGs. THE womAN who
cooked ON AN old.....by THE court under proper InstructiONs to THE Jury ON THE
trial of THE case involving.....is also ONe of THE importANt topics ON THE
program. Stultz, as THE autopsy has..
Reno, Nevada Saturday, July 06, 1929  727 k

Monessen Daily Independent - 8/6/1931
...someONe declared "it's hot enough to FRY AN EGG." THEy cracked AN EGG ON
THE SIDEWALK. In.....arc headed west, seeking work. YES, TJIE EGG FRIED (By
United Press) AlbANy, Ore.....hut five little children crumpled ON THE SIDEWALK,
that had beer; THEir playj ground.....comes ON some blistering afternoON, let
THE chlldren help you nuike AN Icert beverage..
Monessen, Pennsylvania Thursday, August 06, 1931  1090 k

Edwardsville Intelligencer - 7/8/1936
...S. D., July W. E. Young bet he could FRY AN EGG ON THE SIDEWALK. THE EGG
lay ON THE.....off, a spectator laid a THErmometer ON THE SIDEWALK ANd it
registered 140 degrees. Oak.....extended downstate speaking tour ANd told THE
United Press he believed THE respONse to.....1926 as 100. THE mark compared with
79.7 ON THE first of April, indicating that THE..
Edwardsville, Illinois Wednesday, July 08, 1936  732 k

Monessen Daily Independent - 7/10/1936
...HOT, but offered to wager Hupple that an EGG would not FRY on the SIDEWALK
at the.....yesterday afternoon at 4 o'clock to FRY an EGG on the SIDEWALK,
thought George Hupple.....suit for EGG Fries On SIDEWALK Here It was HOT enough
in Monessen.....eight minutes were allotted to allow the EGG: to cook. While a
crowd of about fifty..
Monessen, Pennsylvania Friday, July 10, 1936  896 k

Wisconsin Rapids Daily Tribune - 7/14/1936
...escaped with only a burned hand. FRY EGG On SIDEWALK Here "EGGs fried on
the.....Vandcrwall said. "It is both terrifically HOT and terrifically dry,
with temperatures.....at the store, fried a hen's EGG on the SIDEWALK shortly
after o'clock this afternoon.....migration of fish would mean the escape of FRY
and fingerlings in the lake by the two..
Wisconsin Rapids, Wisconsin Tuesday, July 14, 1936  778 k

Indiana Evening Gazette - 11/12/1917
...and I'll let Bobby drive me in. if he will. SO HOT, let's sit out here a
littie while and.....was found. Evaporation Cools Food. You can FRY an EGG on a
rock In tie Imperial Valley.....no strength, no appetite and a bad covgli. SO
thru ;i goci; of the time I was unfit for.....weakens the system lowers the
vitality SO; that you are much more liable to con..
Indiana, Pennsylvania Monday, November 12, 1917  885 k

   (An old yolk.--B. P)