No Rhodes Scholar; I Kid You Not

Wed Jan 28 03:35:33 UTC 2004

OT:  Back at work, several people saw (and said they supported) my letter to 
the editor of the BRONX PRESS REVIEW about the lack of fire exits at the Bronx 
Help Center and the upcoming 100th anniversary of the nickname "Yankees."  
The BRONX PRESS REVIEW had done a story about my workplace explosion.  While I 
was on vacation, a similar NYC explosion occurred and killed someone this time. 

   "We don't have heat!  This place should be condemned!" was a frequent 
comment made to me today.
   One person asked why I didn't send my comments to a more influential 
newspaper like THE NEW YORK TIMES.  Well, twelve years ago...

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I KID YOU NOT

   Jack Paar has died. "I kid you not" was his famous 
catchphrase...Newspaperarchive.com doesn't record it before the 1970s, though.
   (Not to be confused with a basketball player's introduction to New Jersey: 
 "I, Kidd; You, Nets.")

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NO RHODES SCHOLAR

   From this week's NEW YORK PRESS:

http://www.nypress.com/17/4/news&columns/mugger.cfm
There are numerous expressions—clichés—to describe someone who’s not smarter 
than the average bear. "Well, he’s no rocket scientist," had a lot of 
currency a decade ago; "She’s a taco short of a combo platter" is currently popular; 
and "He’s got the I.Q. of a houseplant" has never gone out of style. The 
perennial putdown, of course, is that some sucker is "no Rhodes scholar."Maybe an 
upshot of the Democratic presidential contest will be a retirement of that 
phrase, since Gen. Wesley Clark is a Rhodes scholar, yet judging by his campaign 
he seems far worse off than a child left behind.  

   Let's check Newspaperarchive.com:

   NO RHODES SCHOLAR:

Reno Evening Gazette - 12/14/1951   
...as RHODES SCHOLARs Nevada will have NO RHODES SCHOLAR attending Oxford 
university.....the board did NOt convene. Last Nevada RHODES SCHOLAR was Barney 
Childs who received.....Dr. Anderson and Mr. McDonald are former RHODES SCHOLAR
s and Dr. Inwood was recently.....with a degree in English literature. The 
RHODES SCHOLARship is limited to male..
Reno, Nevada Friday, December 14, 1951  730 k       

Nevada State Journal - 6/7/1942     
...Ameri'can and Hieir playing ability with NO RHODES SCHOLAR who plaved with 
lions asked.....about as safe as your own fireside, there's NO denying (hat 
some danger from living.....mosquitoes, redbugs, chiggers, deerflies, NO
-seeums, ants, midges and ticks. Of all..
Reno, Nevada Sunday, June 07, 1942  811 k       

Nevada State Journal - 4/21/1928    
...to front rooms." RHODES SCHOLARs NO RHODES SCHOLAR is to be trusted in 
the.....the un-American ideas. What, then; 'can a RHODES SCHOLAR do Tvhen he 
returns to the.....editorial departments and you willfind' RHODES SCHOLARship 
-men, British subjects.....s speech with a cry of joy, and spread the RHODES 
SCHOLARship paragraph in extra bigand..
Reno, Nevada Saturday, April 21, 1928  721 k    

Mountain Democrat - 1/2/1987    
...as the District 4 supervisor. Mike's NO RHODES SCHOLAR, but I have NO 
doubt he will.....VOL 137 NO MONDAY. JANUARY 5. 1987 'Here's what we.....Visman tc 
have that kind of freshmen year. NO candidate I have seen in nine years and..
Placerville, California Friday, January 02, 1987  428 k     

Zanesville Signal - 1/8/1933    
...his famous fund. New Zealand will have NO RHODES SCHOLAR this year. Tho 
selection.....Jan. 7. yp) For the first time since Cecil RHODES 
established.....SectionTwo SOCIETY FEATURES VOL. XLIX, NO. 27 ZANESVILLE, OHIO, SUNDAY, 
JANUARY 8.....Improving the park so that i since there is NO bea The river frtmt 
along the well field..
Zanesville, Ohio Sunday, January 08, 1933  1065 k       

Chronicle Telegram - 8/19/1984  
...permits him to put on meat." If NO RHODES SCHOLAR, the chicken NOnetheless 
has.....PERDUE "follow "here's and, to paraphrase, "NO, the sky's NOt 
falling, but there's a hawk.....only too happy to help someone out. There's NO 
problem at said Richard Hales, butcher at..
Elyria, Ohio Sunday, August 19, 1984  519 k     

   NO ROCKET SCIENTIST:

Mountain Democrat - 6/13/2000   
...first place, almost unbelievable. I'm NO ROCKET SCIENTIST, and I don't 
have any of the.....in the Mountain Democrat and there were NO contradictory 
statements from other board.....Livingston, N.J.; and five grandchildren. NO 
services will be held. Arrangements were..
Placerville, California Tuesday, June 13, 2000  570 k       

Mountain Democrat - 4/21/1987   
...stories about where Hanna is. "He's NO ROCKET SCIENTIST, for sure, but NO
body calls.....years. He was a member of Carpenter's Local NO. 162, San Mateo. 
Mr. Wischhusen is.....Polivka of Berkeley, a niece and a nephew. NO local 
services will be held. Interment..
Placerville, California Tuesday, April 21, 1987  490 k      

Star Herald - 3/7/2002  
...Dunne 58 Hockey great Mikita 59 Coup 60 NO ROCKET SCIENTIST 61 Desires 62 
Too hasty 63.....Dumbfounded 15 Colonist William 16 Jai 17 SCIENTIST Curie 18 
Zone 19 Daybreak, to a.....be entrusted with confidential information, NO 
matter how much you like this person. She..
Scottsbluff, Nebraska Thursday, March 07, 2002  503 k       

Chronicle Telegram - 4/26/1998  
...Service. Gates is NO Satan, but he's NO ROCKET SCIENTIST, either Gillette 
Co. is.....buildings will crumble, districts will have NO help funding the new 
mandates, and.....property owners will have NO tax relief. Issue 2 isn't a 
final solution..
Elyria, Ohio Sunday, April 26, 1998  547 k      

Chronicle Telegram - 8/16/1998  
...selling in the thousand dollar range. NO ROCKET SCIENTIST is needed to 
detect an odor.....3 RDER 25 YEAR GUARANTEE CLOGGING NOOVERaOW NO TRENCHING NO 
ICE DAMAGE NO LEAKS NEVER.....Act with your head NOt your heart I kNOw of NO 
agent who tells their friends, relatives..
Elyria, Ohio Sunday, August 16, 1998  568 k     

Mountain Democrat - 6/13/2000   
...first place, almost unbelievable. I'm NO ROCKET SCIENTIST, and I don't 
have any of the.....red in the Mountain Democrat and there were NO contradictory 
statements from other board.....Li vingston, N.J.; and five grandchildren. NO 
services will be held. Arrangements were..
Placerville, California Tuesday, June 13, 2000  566 k       

Gleaner - 4/24/2002     
...s city 36 TorrrnieoftnedBrNOnd 37 NO ROCKET SCIENTIST 38 Tiny stream 39 
Task 40..
Kingston, Kingston Wednesday, April 24, 2002  468 k     

Frederick Post - 6/15/2001  
...regrets had been offered. It takes NO ROCKET SCIENTIST to figure out 
something more.....would have held the position for two years. NO miNOr 
consideration for a person of her.....tried on three other occasions but NO contact was 
made." Let slide the claim she..
Frederick, Maryland Friday, June 15, 2001  1491 k       

   SMARTER THAN THE AVERAGE BEAR:

Sheboygan Press - 10/11/1962    
...Come See Him In Person BEAR He's SMARTER THAN THE AVERAGE BEAR, and he'll 
be at Food.....THE SHEBOYGAN PRESS, Thursday, October I I.....of U.S. Grade 
"A" Frozen Turkey except THE breast. Package AVERAGEs 5 to 10 pounds..
Sheboygan, Wisconsin Thursday, October 11, 1962  563 k      

News - 6/17/1992    
...Hey-hey Boo-boo, I'm SMARTER THAN THE AVERAGE BEAR." Yogi BEAR THEre's no 
telling.....if it was a smart BEAR or even an AVERAGE BEAR, but it was 
definitely a BEAR that.....1993 that is less THAN million higher THAN last year's 
spending plan. THE.....a dog. No, it was definitely a BEAR." THE BEAR climbed 
over THE guard rails on THE..
Frederick, Maryland Wednesday, June 17, 1992  748 k     

Mountain Democrat - 10/6/1982   
...Georgetown's Smokey THE BEAR is SMARTER THAN THE AVERAGE BEAR, however 
that isn't due.....request performances and now appears on THE AVERAGE of once a 
month. "I start visiting.....intends to keep THE tradition of Smokey THE BEAR 
alive in Georgetown. "I am absolutely.....dons furry, brown suit to play 
Smokey THE BEAR. type of situation. "I came up with all..
Placerville, California Wednesday, October 06, 1982  395 k      

Chronicle Telegram - 6/26/1997  
...284-6191 NEWARK He's SMARTER THAN THE AVERAGE BEAR. A young male black 
BEAR.....Education and Medicaid will eat up more THAN half of THE budget. Schools 
will -get.....ship home and called THE police. THE BEAR ambled off, eluding 
THE authorities. But.....rack, linen, white Roper refrigerator less THAN one 
year old. Tappan gas range, Sharp..
Elyria, Ohio Thursday, June 26, 1997  634 k     

Frederick Post - 11/3/1990  
...5 baths, nicely landscaped lot. Be SMARTER THAN THE AVERAGE BEAR, 
assumable 3 BDR home.....Excellence tS OIK CONDOMINIUMS OFFER MORE THAN JUST A ROOM 
WITH A }m GREAT STANDARD.....SEISS HOMES PRESENTS racious living at THE Gateway 
to THE Catoctin Mountains THE.....with wood 12.7x23.10 summer kitchen across 
THE back of THE home THEre are also apple amp..
Frederick, Maryland Saturday, November 03, 1990  499 k      

Frederick Post - 12/8/1990  
...l.Sbaths, nicely landscaped lot. Be SMARTER THAN THE AVERAGE BEAR, 
assumable 3 BDR home.....Heat Pump AC OUR CONDOMINIUMS OFFER MORE THAN JUST A ROOM 
WITH A VIEW GREAT STANDARD.....CHEER, PHONE FAST ON THIS ONE 1 BRING THE FAMILY 
AND ENJOY THE Holidays in your own.....698-0966. are llw If tin and spirit 
U.S. THE nchiei'ement of Equal Homing throughout..
Frederick, Maryland Saturday, December 08, 1990  567 k      

Chronicle Telegram - 5/22/1997  
...s extensive travels have made him SMARTER THAN THE AVERAGE BEAR. His 
experiences helped.....she taught physical THErapy for more THAN 30' years at THE 
University of.....Frank's students celebrated THE little BEAR's homecoming with 
sugar cookies and pink.....around Christmas. Frank's students sent THE BEAR 
to Bosnia with candy, cards and a video..
Elyria, Ohio Thursday, May 22, 1997  587 k      

Columbus Dispatch - 2/16/1994   
...To borrow a phrase from Yogi, SMARTER THAN THE AVERAGE BEAR. rap artist 
Dr. Ore.....tickets from THE Connecticut troopers THAN I think he cares to his 
moTHEr, Dorothy.....short of calling it a fetish. deeper THAN Jones said of his 
impulse. THE top 10.....for she had learned that love is stronger THAN THE 
strongest curse. Adapted with..
Columbus, Ohio Wednesday, February 16, 1994  621 k      

Wellsboro Gazette - 8/12/1998   
...in Jellystone Park, "You have to be SMARTER THAN THE AVERAGE BEAR." Don't 
feed BEARs, or.....said. Don't attempt to approach a feeding BEAR, or a BEAR 
with cubs. If you're going to.....Floatability is THE key to success, more so 
THAN THE exactness of THE pattern. THE hatch.....extended season of topwater 
activity. THE AVERAGE size this year seems to be 10-14..
Wellsboro, Pennsylvania Wednesday, August 12, 1998  564 k       

   I.Q. OF A HOUSEPLANT:

Gettysburg Times - 2/5/1980     
...An Alcoholic, A nymphomAniAc, hAs the IQ OF A houseplAnt or she is mAdly 
in love.....other usAge OF the fire hAll for purposes OF public sAles, dAnces, 
etc., contAct Any OF.....the Ability to enjoy Anything. (3) Loss OF interest 
in sex. (4) Loss OF Appetite lor.....SlAybAugh And their fArm, including on eA
ch OF three counts. on eAch OF three other..
Gettysburg, Pennsylvania Tuesday, February 05, 1980  453 k   

Gettysburg Times - 12/16/1992   
...And is A totAl moron. The mAn hAs the IQ OF A HOUSE plAnt. Aunt "GrAce" 
gets.....About A reAl estAte person who sAys, "This HOUSE is A visuAl feAst." Re
Ality check: If.....commonAlity OF goAls commitment to growth OF spouse 
communicAtion skills creAtive use.....two yeArs Ago. I've decided I wAnt no more OF 
this hypocrisy. Pm sick And tired OF..
Gettysburg, Pennsylvania Wednesday,     

   (A/ONE) TACO SHORT OF A COMBINATION PLATE:

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