porn-star names that are puns

[Arnold M. Zwicky]

On Apr 24, 2004, at 4:29 PM, i wrote, about porn-star names:

> ... (most of the names are so routinely
> all-american whitebread that it's hard to remember them!)...

the may 2004 issue of Out magazine has a little piece on names of porn
stars.  according to www.gaypornstars.net, the "top five last names...
of gay porn models" are:
   tied for 1: Scott, Michaels (10 models each)
   2: Adams (8 models)
   tied for 3: Taylor, West (7 models)

not exactly a memorable bunch.  what was your name again, honey: Adam
Taylor Scott?  Michael Scott West?  Scott Adam Michaels?

not surprisingly, the site has no one with first or last name Arnold,
nor does my (much larger) data collection.

two comments.  first, the site refers to these men as models (and
sometimes as stars, but never, i think, just as actors).  now, the
delectable guys who display apparel in Undergear catalogs (where they
are scantily clad) and International Male catalogs (where they are
wearing mostly laughably absurd clothes) are models.  Brian Cruise, Lon
Flexx, Jeff Stryker, and their companions, however, are primarily
"models", as in the Escorts and Models ads at the back of gay
newspapers; some of them do pose (in steamy nakedness or
near-nakedness) for glossy photoshoots for places like Falcon Studios,
but their main job is getting it on with other guys in films.

second, the Out piece refers to the game of generating your own
personal porn-star name by formula: "your first pet's name plus the
name of the street you grew up on", or a novel suggestion, "first name
of person you most want to get back at + your middle name" (which
assumes there is a person you most want to get back at, but i come up
empty-handed there, and i'm sure not going to use Melchior as my last
name).  the one i'm most familiar with is mother's maiden name plus
name of the street you grew up on, and i like that one because it
yields Rice Highland for me, not bad as a porn name (and produces Chase
Palm and Johnson Kincade for a gay couple i know, really a *fine* pair
of names).  but it's not without its risks, producing things like
Liebowitz 59th or Castro The Alameda de las Pulgas on occasion.

arnold (zwicky at csli.stanford.edu), may-day silly