"sort of" is elitist? (""Would that it were")

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I saw John Kerry on The Daily Show with Jon Stewart. Stewart asked Kerry if 
his wife got a nickel for every bottle of ketchup. "Would that it were," Kerry 
replied. 
  
That was pretty harmless, IMHO, but Russ Smith in New York Press went nuts. 
So did a few other people. Now, the New York Post is inventing stuff to object 
to.
  
Enough already. Let's get back to talking about the War of 1812.
  
  
New Partisan - Home - Kerry Courts the Swing Rubes
... “Would that it were” — Russ Smith on how John Kerry speaks to the
common man. We couldn’t have been more pleased to have ... 
newpartisan.squarespace.com/ home/kerry-courts-the-swing-rubes.html - 41k - 
Cached - Similar pages
Reader Comments (1) 
Mr. Smith writes: 

"Kerry also wowed the common man on 'The Daily Show.' When Jon Stewart asked 
whether Teresa got a nickel every time he used ketchup, Kerry pumped his fist 
and replied, "Would that it were, Jon! Would that it were!" I have now asked 
10 guys from Brooklyn whether they know what "would that it were' means. My 
favorite answer came from ex-garbageman and ex-cop Ray Garvey, who asked, "Is it 
a golf club!?'"


I dare say (and I mean that literally), that you have been wasting your time 
in Brooklyn asking people who think that "subjunctive mood" has something to 
do with PMS. Why not ask a linguist? Better yet, let me quench your heart-felt 
thirst for knowledge.

"Would that it were"

is actually quite simple to parse, but if Mr. Kerry had said,

"Would that not be wonderful,
if it were the case,"

would you, Mr. Smith, not have accused Mr. Kerry of being a poet?

I say: hurray for people who are capable of constructing complete and 
grammatically correct sentences not only in their maternal language, but in others as 
well. 
  
by a friend in need on 09.8.2004 
    
    
Right Thinking from the Left Coast
... “Would that it were,” Kerry said. Would that it were? Who the hell, 
apart
from maybe William F. Buckley, uses speech like that? ... 
right-thinking.com/index.php/weblog/snotty_vernacular/ - 19k - Cached - 
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Snotty Vernacular

I’ve accused Kerry many times of being a snotty patrician blue-blood many 
times.  Yesterday, in an attempt to show how hip and cool he is, he went on the 
John Stewart Show.  Check out this exchange. 
> Stewart also sought answers to another hard-hitting question: “Is it true 
> that every time I use ketchup, your wife gets a nickel?” The candidate’s 
> wife, Teresa Heinz Kerry, derived her wealth from her late husband, an heir to 
> the Heinz food fortune. “Would that it were,” Kerry said. 
Would that it were?  Who the hell, apart from maybe William F. Buckley, uses 
speech like that?  As I’ve said before, which candidate could you imagine 
hanging out with the locals in a Waffle House somewhere, Bush or Kerry?  Exactly. 

Posted by Lee on 08/25 at 08:29 AM