Riddles and Conundrums (1883, 1921)

[bapopik at AOL.COM]

No one was interested in the "chicken crossing the road" in my last post, so here's more.
...
...
WIT AND HUMOR OF THE AGE
by Melville D. Landon
Chicago: Star Publishing
1883 (No date is given for this compilation, but OCLC seems to show 1883)

Pg. 709:
Why is a lawyer like a restless sleeper?
He lies first on one side and then on the other.

When is a lawyer like a donkey.
When he is drawing a conveyance.
When is he unlike a donkey?
Don't know.

Pg. 710:
What rose is born to blush unseen?
Negroes.

Pg. 716:
When is a pretty girl like a ship?
When she is attached to a buoy.

Pg. 730:
What is that which you have, and everybody has at the same time?
(A Name.)

Pg. 731:
Two lookers, two hookers, four hangers, four gangers, and a flap to scare the flies away.
(A Cow.)

Black and white and re(a)d all over.
(A Newspaper.)

What is that which divides by uniting, and unites by dividing.
(Shears.)

Pg. 732:
What is that which lives in winter, and dies in summer, and always grows with its roots upward?
(An Icicle.)

Pg. 734:
What word is there of five letters that, by taking away two, leaves one?
(Stone.)

Pg. 735:
A house full and a yard full, but you can't catch a bowl full.
(Smoke.)

What is that which never asks a question yet requires many answers?
(A Door Knocker.)

What yesterday was, and to-morrow will be.
(To-day.)

Pg. 736:
Niddy, noddy, two heads and one body.
(A Barrel.)

Hooked, crooked, notched and straight.
(Steelyards.)

Long legs, crooked thighs, bald head and no eyes?
(Tongs.)

Pg. 737:
What word is there which contains all the vowels and in their proper order?
(Facetiously.)

Round as an apple, deep as a cup, all the king's oxen can't draw it up.
(A Well.)


THE BOOK OF CONUNDRUMS
by Greta Robertson
Cincinnati: Stewart & Kidd Company
1921

Pg. 18:
Is Mississ-ippi should lend Miss-ouri her New Jersey, what would Dela-ware?
Al-ask-a.

Pg. 19:
How do you make a horse fast?
Stop feeding him.

Pg. 22:
Why is a hen immortal?
Because her son never sets.

Pg. 24:
Spell "blind pig" with two letters.
Pg (pig without an eye).

Pg. 25:
Why do Irish peasants wear capes?
To keep them warm.

Pg. 29:
Where were the first doughnuts made?
In Greece.

Pg. 30:
Which is bigger, Mr. Bigger, or Mr. Bigger's baby?
The baby is a little Bigger.

Pg. 31:
What is the highest public building in Boston?
The public library has the most stories.

Pg. 32:
Which travels faster, heat or cold?
Heat, for you can catch cold.

Pg. 33:
Which games do the waves play?
Pitch and toss.

Pg. 34:
Why is your nose in the middle of your face?
Because it's the center (scenter).

Pg. 35:
How can you divide seventeen apples equally between eleven boys if four of them are very small?
By making them into apple sauce.
(See ADS-L archives for the "applesauce" joke.

What is it that runs all the way between two towns and never moves?
A road.

>From a word of five letters take two and leave one.
Al-one.

Pg. 36:
What is larger when cut at both ends?
A ditch.

Pg. 37:
What asks no questions but requires many answers?
A doorbell.

Pg. 47:
What is that which never flies until its wings are broken?
An army.

What was "Hobson's Choice"?
Mrs. Hobson.

Pg. 48:
When is an army totally destroyed?
When its soldiers are all in quarters.