Children's chant

[Wilson Gray]

Whoa! Many thanks, Jon!

I wonder whether the makers of Serutan are still in business. It's been
decades (BTW, I've heard Bill Kurtis, the host of Cold Case, twice
pronounce this as "dekkids," St. Louis-style; he's a native of
someplace in Kansas) since I've seen or heard an ad for that stuff.

-Wilson

On Feb 1, 2005, at 6:56 PM, Jonathan Lighter wrote:

> ---------------------- Information from the mail header
> -----------------------
> Sender:       American Dialect Society <ADS-L at LISTSERV.UGA.EDU>
> Poster:       Jonathan Lighter <wuxxmupp2000 at YAHOO.COM>
> Subject:      Re: Children's chant
> -----------------------------------------------------------------------
> --------
>
> I may be able to help you out there, young man.  The 1914-18 version
> of "I Don't Want to Join the Army" (based on an English music-hall
> tune) was as follows:
>
> (NOT FOR OFFENDABLE PEOPLE !)
>
> I don't want to be a soldier !
> I don't want to go to war !
> I'd rather hang around
> Piccadilly Underground,
> Living on the earnings of a lay-dee ty-pist !
> I don't want a bayonet up my arsehole !
> I don't want my ballocks shot away !
> I'd rather stay in England,
> Merry, merry England,
> And fornicate my fucking life away !
>
> Then of course there is the interwar American frat song that goes,
>
> 'Twas a cold winter's evening,
> The guests were all leaving,
> O'Reilly was closing the bar.
> And roughly he said,
> To a Lady in Red -
> "Get out ! You can't stay where you are !"
>
> She wept a sad tear in her bucket of beer,
> As she thought of the cold night ahead,
> When a gentleman dapper
> Stepped out of the crapper,
> And these are the words that he saaaaaaaaiiiiiiiiiiiiid :
>
> "Her mother never told her
> All the things a young girl should know -
> About the ways of college men,
> And how they come and go. (OOOOOOOOO moooost - leeee goooooooooooo
> !!!!!)
> Age has now taken her beauty,
> And Sin has left its sad scar.
> So think of your mothers and sisters, boys,
> And let her....sleep under...the baaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrr !
>
> And so we end another trip down Memory Lane, brought to you by Serutan.
> And Serutan, spelled backwards, is "Nature's" !
>
> JL
>
> Wilson Gray <wilson.gray at RCN.COM> wrote:
> ---------------------- Information from the mail header
> -----------------------
> Sender: American Dialect Society
> Poster: Wilson Gray
> Subject: Re: Children's chant
> -----------------------------------------------------------------------
> --------
>
> On Feb 1, 2005, at 10:13 AM, George Thompson wrote:
>
>> ---------------------- Information from the mail header
>> -----------------------
>> Sender: American Dialect Society
>> Poster: George Thompson
>> Subject: Re: Children's chant
>> ----------------------------------------------------------------------
>> -
>> --------
>>
>> Larry Horn submits:
>>
>>> and then there was the related (via Col. Bogey rather than Disney, of
>>> course) verse, discussed on the list some years ago,
>>>
>>> Hitler # had only one, left ball,
>>> Goering # had two but they were small.
>>> Himmler # had something similar,
>>> And Goebbals
>>> Had no balls
>>> At all.
>>>
>>
>> Brendan Behan quotes this in Borstal Boy.
>>
>> GAT
>>
>> George A. Thompson
>> Author of A Documentary History of "The African Theatre", Northwestern
>> Univ. Pr., 1998, but nothing much lately.
>>
>
> This was also very popular as a barracks time-killer and
> mood-lightener, when I was in the Army, except that it was Hitler who
> had no balls at all.
>
> There were a couple of other barracks ballads that I can't quite
> recall, but which someone else may recognize.
>
> I don't want to join the Army
> I don't want to go to war
> I don't want to get me arse shah-toff
> Etc.
>
> ?...?
> ?...?
> A gentleman dapper
> Stepped out of the crapper
> ?...?
> ?...?
> Her mother never told (or "taught"?) her
> The things a young girl should know
> Etc.
>
> There was also a chant used only by NCO's to troops being formed up for
> inspection:
>
> Dress right!
> Dress!
> Dress and cover!
> Dress and cover!
> Dress it up and cover down!
> Eighteen inches all around!
> Dress and cover!
> Dress and cover!
>
> -Wilson Gray
>
>
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