The elementary-school joke (was Re: "opening the kimono" (1979?, 1984)

[Wilson Gray]

One Sunday, after services. the preacher was supposed to go to this
lady's house for supper. The lady had some children. And one of these
children he always be having trouble with his insides. So, he always be
farting. Now, the preacher coming over and all of that, the lady was
worried that her son might cut the cheese while the preacher was saying
grace over the meal. And, even if the boy fart real quiet, it still
stink up the house and she still would be embarrassed. So, she took out
a big kosher pickle [in my childhood in St. Louis, a favorite snack
that cost only $.05 right out of the barrel at one of the local delis]
and stuffed it up his butt.

At the meal, preacher said, "You know, I sure would like me another one
of them fine pickles." But it wasn't but the one pickle left. So, the
lady said, "I'm sorry, preacher. I ain't got no more." But the preacher
kept at her till she figured it wasn't but one thing that she could do.
So, she sneaked the pickle out of the little boy's butt and gave it to
to him. After he finished eating the pickle, the preacher reared back
in his chair and said, "That sure was a fine meal, especially them
pickles. To tell the truth, that last one was a whopper!"

And before his mama could stop him, the little boy he said, "Preacher,
That wasn't no whopper!
That was my asshole stopper!"

This stuff was kind of folkloric. The set-up had to be as long as you
could stretch it out and the punchline *absolutely had to be* a rhyming
couplet. If there was no punchline, you'd have had the annoyance of
having listened to a shaggy-dog story.

The first time that I heard the term, "bullshit," it was in a
non-rhyming, shaggy-dog punchline: "And you know what it was? All this
bull I'm shitting you!" This was in St, Louis in 1950. In Texas, in
those days, ca.1940-50, we used "bullcome" instead of "bullshit."

-Wilson Gray

On Jun 21, 2005, at 5:48 PM, Baker, John wrote:

> ---------------------- Information from the mail header
> -----------------------
> Sender:       American Dialect Society <ADS-L at LISTSERV.UGA.EDU>
> Poster:       "Baker, John" <JMB at STRADLEY.COM>
> Subject:      Re: "opening the kimono" (1979?, 1984)
> -----------------------------------------------------------------------
> --------
>
>         Wilson, you've teased us enough.  You're going to have to tell
> us the joke.
>
> John Baker
>
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: American Dialect Society [mailto:ADS-L at LISTSERV.UGA.EDU] On
> Behalf
> Of Wilson Gray
> Sent: Tuesday, June 21, 2005 4:58 PM
> To: ADS-L at LISTSERV.UGA.EDU
> Subject: Re: "opening the kimono" (1979?, 1984)
>
>
> You are correct, sir! However, in the interests of full disclosure, let
> me state that this is my own, intuitive analysis, since all of these
> terms, and the joke referred to, antedate my birth. Had I been present
> at their creation, I might think - or even know - different. ["Think
> different" and "know different" are good BE. At the moment, I can't
> come
> up with standard equivalents. Merely adding -ly doesn't work.]
>
> -Wilson Gray
>