Bartendresses

[Page Stephens]

Of course there is the old gag about the termite who sits down and asks,
"Where is the bar tender?"

And then, of course, there is the story of the cannibal who had a stomach
ache who went to the doctor.

The doctor asked him what he had recently eaten, and after he said a
missionary, an anthropologist, a tourist and the woman who tended bar at the
local pub the doctor told him that he knew his problem which was the bar
bitch you ate.

The common term in the Cleveland, Ohio area is server which like mail
carrier solves the problem entirely since it is sex neutral as is bar
tender.

Many years ago in recognition of this problem I wrote two gags. I decided to
call a mailbox a contradiction and a mailman a redundancy.

For reasons which are beyond me these terms never took off but every once in
awhile I attempt to introduce a slang term into my local dialect.

My most successful has been rat killer for artificial sweetener on the
ground that when given to rats it causes cancer.

This one I think has the possibility of taking off if only a few of you will
use it whenever you ask for artificial sweetener.

Best,

Page Stephens

----- Original Message -----
From: "paulzjoh" <paulzjoh at MTNHOME.COM>
To: <ADS-L at LISTSERV.UGA.EDU>
Sent: Thursday, March 17, 2005 9:28 PM
Subject: Re: Bartendresses


> ---------------------- Information from the mail
> header -----------------------
> Sender:       American Dialect Society <ADS-L at LISTSERV.UGA.EDU>
> Poster:       paulzjoh <paulzjoh at MTNHOME.COM>
> Subject:      Re: Bartendresses
> -------------------------------------------------------------------------------
>
>>Don't forget "bustroid"
>>
>>I don't know which I find more offensive, this or "waitron."
>>
>>JL
>>
>>
>>"Mullins, Bill" <Bill.Mullins at US.ARMY.MIL> wrote:
>>---------------------- Information from the mail
>>header -----------------------
>>Sender: American Dialect Society
>>Poster: "Mullins, Bill"
>>Subject: Re: Bartendresses
>>-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
>>
>>I've heard "waitstaff" as a catch-all unisex term for waiters,
>>waitresses, bartenders, etc.
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>>BARTENDRESSES
>>>
>>>>From the "Ardent Spirits" newletter by Gary Regan:
>>>
>>>
>>>Barmaids, Bartendresses, and Bar Bitches
>>>
>>>Our friend, Claudia C. F. Craig caused some controversy when,
>>>as we reported in the last issue of Ardent Spirits, she wrote
>>>to say that she was in favor of calling females who work
>>>behind the stick "barmaids," as opposed to bartenders.
>>>Not one of our readers who wrote in to comment agreed with
>>>Claudia. Mind you, Claudia's used to that . . .
>>>
>>>First off we should explain the Bar Bitch term lest you're
>>>getting irate: Gary was tending bar at a charity function at
>>>Painter's Tavern in Cornwall-on-Hudson recently when he found
>>>himself in the weeds in a big way. He looked to Pete
>>>Buttiglieri, his buddy, and one of the owners of Painter's,
>>>for help, and Pete dutifully went to work, grabbing a tray
>>>full of clean glasses from the kitchen, and re-stocking the
>>>glass shelves. He rolled his eyes at Gary, and muttered,
>>>"Now that I'm officially your bar bitch . . . " So, we don't
>>>think that Bar Bitch is a suitable term to use when referring
>>>to a female bartender, but we do believe that it suits Peter to a T.
>>>
>>>Here's a look at what some of you wrote on the subject of barmaids:
>>>
>>>>From Philip Duff, Holland:
>>>
>>>"I'd go for bartender to describe a, er, bartender of either
>>>gender. As well as being unisex, it also fits well with the
>>>profession of "tending bar", and is universally understood,
>>>something that can't be said for "barkeeper"(most Germanic
>>>countries). To me personally, having lived in the UK,
>>>"barman" or "barmaid" tends to be used to describe a fairly
>>>untrained pub-standard bar worker, whereas "bartender" always
>>>seemed to indicate a trained professional."
>>>
>>>Any bartenders in the U.K. care to comment?
>>>
>>>Nancy A. Breslow had pretty strong views on this subject,
>>>too. Here's what she had to say:
>>>
>>>"Gary and Mardee: The idea of a female bartender being
>>>called anything but a BARTENDER gives me the dry-heaves. If
>>>I tend bar, I do the same job whether I've got the inny or
>>>outy equipment between my legs. I don't care if some men
>>>pine for the "Fly me" days; that's their problem. Would
>>>Claudia want a woman flying the plane to be called a
>>>pilotess? Ugh. From "maid" it's only a step or two to
>>>"wench" and anyone calls me that is begging for a black eye. -Nancy-
>>>
>>>And speaking of wenches, Deven Black, an old friend, and
>>>former manager of the North Star Pub in Manhattan wrote,
>>>"Personally, I prefer serving wench." Don't get too upset at
>>>Deven, we know him well enough to tell you for sure that
>>>Deven had his tongue firmly in his cheek when he wrote that
>>>one. If he was even half-way serious we're also sure that
>>>Jill, his ever patient wife, would whip him soundly.
>>>
>>>A certain woman by the name of Brenda wrote to say that she
>>>didn't mind being called a bartender, a barmaid, or even
>>>"sweety hon," but she added that her customers seldom had to
>>>call her anything at all since she gets the drinks out before
>>>they have to ask. And finally, a reader who signed his
>>>e-mail "Jeffrey"
>>>suggested that we start using the word "bartendress" when
>>>referring to female bartenders.
>>>
>>>The vast majority of you, though, think that "bartender" is a
>>>good unisex term that should be employed when referring to
>>>bartenders of either sex. Sorry, Claudia.
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>
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