A Diller, A Dollar (1955); OT: Goodbye AOL?

[bapopik at AOL.COM]

OT: GOODBYE AOL?

My AOL at home (I'm now at the NYU Bobst Library) died last night, and I've had enough of my dumb dial-up connection. I downloaded the "Security Edition," but still must battle through "Party Poker" and "Casino.net" interruptions.

Should I get AOL "Privacy Wall" and AOL Broadband? Road Runner? Verizon DSL? Juno? Any suggestions?

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A DILLER, A DOLLAR:
RHYMES AND SAYINGS FOR THE TEN O'CLOCK SCHOLAR
compiled by Lillian Morrison
New York: Thomas Y. Crowell
1955

The author also wrote two books on autograph albums and one title called "Yours Till Niagara Falls" (see ADS-L archives). This book is 150 pages, loaded with interesting stuff such as "Liar, Liar" and "Never went to Yale." I'll research them maybe in another post, or by request.

Pg. 2:
1,2,3,4,5,6,7,
All godd children go to Heaven.
2.3.4.5.6.7.8.
All bad children have to wait.

Pg. 3:
Here comes teacher with a hickory stick;
You better get ready for arithmetic.

Pg. 6:
One's none,
Two's some,
Three's many,
Four's aplenty.

I love you a bushel,
I love you a peck,
I love you a hug
Around the neck.

Pg. 9:
To a semicircle, add a circle,
The same again repeat;
Add to these a triangle
And then you'll have a treat.
(COCOA)

Pg. 10:
Sixty seconds make a minute,
How much good can I do in it?
Sixty minutes make an hour,
All the good that's in my power.

Pg. 11:
Multiplication is vexation,
Division is as bad;
The Rule of Three, it puzzles me,
And fractions drive me mad.

If one and one are two,
And one and one do marry,
How is it in a year or two,
There's two and one to carry?

Thirty days hath September,
April, June, and November,
Save February; the rest have thirty-one
Unless you hear from Washington.

Pg. 14:
Come, dear teacher, hear my say
What I can of A B C
A B C D E F G
H I J K L M N O P
Q R S and T U V
W and X Y Z.
Now you've heard my A B C,
Tell me what you think of me.

A-B, ab, catch a crab,
G-O, go, let it go.

Pg. 15:
While a baker was kneading his dough,
A weight fell down on his tough,
He suddenly exclaimed, "Ough!"
Because it had hurt him sough.

Pg. 16:
Put i before e
Except after c,
Or when sounded like a,
As in neighbor and neigh;
And except seize and seizure
And also leisure
Weird, height, and either,
Forfeit and neither.

A pretty deer is dear to me,
A hare with downy hair,
A hart I love with all my heart,
But barely bear a bear.

Pg. 17:
Bill had a billboard and also a board bill
but the board bill bored Bill so that he
sold the billboard to pay the board bill.

Pg. 18:
My first is a circle,
My second a cross;
If you meet my whole,
Look out for a toss.
(O-X)

Do you realize that your real eyes tell real lies to me?

Pg. 20:
On a hill there is a mill,
>From the mill, there is a walk,
Under the walk, there is a key,
Can you spell this name for me?
(Milwaukee)

Pg. 21:
A knife and a fork,
A bottle and a cork.
That the way to spell
New York.

Pg. 22
What starts with a T,
Ends with a T,
And is full of T?
(Teapot)

Pg. 26:
Ain't ain't in the dictionary no more,
So I ain't gonna say ain't no more.
Ain't that good?

_Heading for a letter:_
Jersey City,
Jersey state,
Excuse me, honey,
I forgot the date.

Pg. 28:
The wind riz
And then it blew.
The rain friz
And then it snew.

Spring has sprung,
The grass is riz.
I wonder where
The flowers is?

Spring has sprung,
Fall has fell,
WInter's here
And it's cold as heck.

Pg. 29:
The swan swam over the sea,
Swim, swan, swim.
The swan swam back again;
Well swam, swan.

The sea ceaseth, but the forsythis sufficeth us.

The water fell down the mill dam, _slam_.
That's poetry.
The water fell down the mill dam, _helter-skelter_.
That's blank verse.

Pg. 30:
A kiss is a noun
Both common and proper,
But not always approved
By mama and papa.

A kiss is a noun,
Standing up or sitting down,
Indicative mood, present tense,
Taken by those with common sense.

Pg. 38:
Amo, amas,
I had a little lass;
Amas, amat,
She grew very fat;
Amat, amamus,
She grew very famous;
Amamus, amatis,
I fed her potatoes;
Amatis, amant
But she died of want.

Moods and tenses
Bother my senses;
Adverbs, pronouns, make me roar;
Irregular verbs
My sleep disturb,
They are a regular bore.

Pg. 43:
A B C D goldfish,
M N O goldfish.
O S A R D goldfish,
 C M?
O I C.
(Abie, see the goldfish,
Them ain't no goldfish.
Oh, yes they are the goldfish,
See 'em?
Oh, I see.)

Pg. 44:
Stand  Take  2  Taking
I  U  Throw  My
(I understand you undertake to overthrow my undertaking.)

DRAWPU DNA DRAWNO
(Read from right to left for translation)

Pg. 48:
Is Russia Hungary?
I don't know. Alaska.

Pg. 51:
Where did you get those pants?
Pantsylvania.
The coat?
North Dacoata.
The vest?
Vest Virginia.
The collar?
Collarado.
The hat?
Manhattan.
The shirt?
A fellow gave it to me.

Pg. 53:
In Fourteeh Hundred and Ninety-two
Columbus saild the ocean blue.
In Fourteen Hundred and Ninety-three
Columbus sailed the deep blue sea.
In Fourteen Hundred and Ninety-four
Columbus sailed the sea once more.

Pg. 55:
Shoot the cat,
Shoot the rat,
Shoot the dirty Democrat.

Shoot the turkey,
Shoot the hen,
Shoot the dirty Republican.

Pg. 62:
Roses are red,
Violets are blue;
The skunks had a college
And called it P. U.

Googey, gooey was a worm,
A mighty worm was he;
He sat upon the railroad tracks,
The train he did not see.
Gooey, gooey!

Pg. 63:
Ladybug, ladybug, fly away home,
Your house is on fire, your children will burn;
All but the youngest, whose name is Ann,
And she hid herself 'neath the frying pan.

Pg. 66:
An apple a day
Keeps the doctor away.
An onion a day
Keeps everyone away.

Pg. 69:
Mary had a little lamb,
A little pork, a liitle jam,
A little fish, a little ham,
A little soda topped with fizz,
Now how sick our Mary is.

It's better to burp and bear the shame
Than spare the burp and bear the pain.

Pg. 76:
I sneezed a sneeze into the air;
It fell to the ground, I know not where;
But hard and cold were the looks of those
In whose vicinity I had snoze.

Pg. 88:
My story's ended,
My spoon is bended.
If you don't like it,
Go next door and get it mended.

Pg. 90:
Before you say that ugly word,
Stop and count ten;
Then if you want to say that word,
Begin and count again.

A wise old owl lived in an oak;
THe more he heard the less he spoke;
The less he spoke the more he heard,
Why can't we all be like that wise old bird?

Have communion with few.
Be familiar with one;
Deal justly with all,
Speak evil of none.

Pg. 91:
Ask me no questions,
And I'll tell you no lies;
Bring me those apples
And I'll make you some pies.

Pg. 92:
It's not the looks,
It's not the shoes;
Pretty is
As pretty do's.

Pg. 93:
Patience is a virtue,
Virtue is a grace,
And Grace is a little girl
Who doesn't wash her face.

Pg. 96:
Well begun
Is half done.

Pg. 98:
In everything you do
Aim to excel,
For what's worth doing
Is worth doing well.

Pg. 99:
Stop! Look! and Listen!
Before you cross the street.
Use your eyes; use your ears;
Then use your feet.

Pg. 100:
Politeness is to do and say
The kindest thing in the kindest way.

Pg. 101:
Two's a couple,
Three's a crowd,
Four on the sidewalk
Is never allowed.

Pg. 109:
I pity the waiter,
I pity the cook,
I pity the one
Who steals this book.

Pg. 110:
"Clap my hands and jump for joy;
I was here before Kilroy."

"Sorry to spoil your little joke;
I was here, but my pencil broke."
--Kilroy

(TO BE CONTINUED)