"Leader DeLay"??? What's up with that?

[Roger Shuy]

on 5/15/05 8:43 PM, Laurence Horn at laurence.horn at YALE.EDU wrote:

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> Sender:       American Dialect Society <ADS-L at LISTSERV.UGA.EDU>
> Poster:       Laurence Horn <laurence.horn at YALE.EDU>
> Subject:      Re: "Leader DeLay"??? What's up with that?
>
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> At 10:19 PM -0400 5/15/05, Beverly Flanigan wrote:
>> At 10:17 PM 5/15/2005 -0400, you wrote:
>>>> ----- Original Message -----
>>>>>
>>>>> LOL! I not only hear it, I say it! (I also say "Sir" - both of them often
>>>>> in the courtroom).
>>>>
>>>> I've been thinking about that. I always use "ma'am" with respect. And I
>>>> often use "sir" with respect. But sometimes I use "sir" as a means of
>>>> providing distance or separation.
>>>
>>> That's what "respecting negative face" is all about.
>>>
>>> There's also been nice (if dated) work on "ma'am" vs. "dear",
>>> "honey", and other terms of endearment (between strangers in
>>> commercial exchanges), most notably an old (1980) paper by Wolfson &
>>> Manes, "Don't 'Dear' Me" (in S. McConnell-Ginet et al. (eds.), Women
>>> and Language in Literature and Society, 79-92.  New York: Praeger),
>>> which explores age, sex, and regional differences (New England vs.
>>> Southern U.S.) in the choice of terms of address.  Don't know if
>>> there's been any follow-up since.
>>>
>>> Larry
>>
>> I just put a grad student onto that article; he wants to see how people
>> address restaurant and shop people.  As I recall, the article was
>> particularly concerned with men "dearing" waitresses--oops, servers.
>
> Right; class is another variable, along with age, sex, and region.  I
> also liked the discussion of how the terms of address shift along
> with impatience (when the customer is being particularly obtuse, in
> the eyes of the worker).
>
> L
>
An interesting thing happens when I testify as an expert witness in trials.
Sometimes the opposing lawyer who is cross examining me asks me, early on,
how he should address me--Professor? Doctor? Mister? I suspect that my own
lawyer would prefer Doctor, since Professor carries the notion of
absent-minded, a bit nutty to some jurors at least. Mister doesn't quite fit
the notion of an expert. Doctor may seem self-serving. I've never quite
managed to satisfy anyone with my answer, which is "call me whatever you
want to." But it's a real pickle, a kind of no-win situation.

As for "sir," I have found that when the opposing attorney gets a bit miffed
at me or thinks he/she has me in some kind of corner, I start getting called
"sir." Sarcasm I suppose.

It's usually best for all parties in trials to call the judge, "your honor"
and to refer to the defendants, however disrespectable they might be, as
"Mr,"or "Ms." Of course, it's best to call the lawyers Mr. or Ms. also.

roger