Whole Nine Yards (1955!)

Tue May 17 14:26:54 UTC 2005

Legman says he heard a version of the joke in question in Washington, D.C., in 1951.  Though "whole nine yards" isn't mentioned, at least the equivalent of one yard is.  Here is Legman's summary (_Rationale of the Dirty Joke_ [N.Y.: Grove, 1969] ) :

"A Highlander plans to give his girl a yard of tartan plaid for Christmas, and to make sure she likes the pattern has a kilt made of it which he wears the next time he visits her. 'How do you like it ?" he asks, twirling around in front of her. 'It looks all right to me,' she says rather surprised. 'Fine,' he answers, 'because you're going to get thirty-six inches of it for Christmas.'"

Perhaps nothing can "prove" that the figurative phrase came from this or a similar story - after all, an existing "whole nine yards" could have replaced a slightly less Paul-Bunyanesque "one yard" just as easily (or maybe less easily) than vice versa.  But an origin a bawdy joke would help to explain why the idiom is first known to have circulated within the masculine subculture of military aviators.

For the humor involved, cf. the bawdy limerick,

The second mate's name was Hopper,
By God, he had a whopper :
Twice round the deck,
Thrice round his neck,
And up his arse for a stopper.

http://www.limericks.co.uk/narrative/venus.html [e.g.]

JL

Benjamin Zimmer <bgzimmer at RCI.RUTGERS.EDU> wrote:
---------------------- Information from the mail header -----------------------
Sender: American Dialect Society
Poster: Benjamin Zimmer
Subject: Re: Whole Nine Yards (1955!)
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On Fri, 13 May 2005 20:06:25 -0400, Douglas G. Wilson wrote:

>As I've probably noted here previously I had a similar correspondence a
>while ago with a gentleman who recalled "whole nine yards" from the early
>1950's from the USN aviation school at Pensacola, where (he stated) it was
>used just as it is now, and where it was said at the time to be the length
>of an ammo belt. He didn't mention any dirty songs.
>
>Of course the derivation from a dirty song is not hard to believe. If this
>is the real origin, one might speculate that the length reflects that
>"nine-yard kilt" tradition (genuine or not, I don't know). However a
>pre-existing expression might be recycled in a song too.
>
>Of course I am not convinced of anything without documentation from the
>time in question. But even dirty songs and stories are recorded to some
>degree, aren't they? Where would one look?

Based on the whole shaggy-dog story that Richard Stratton provided (see
previous post), I tracked down a related song on the Digital Tradition
Folk Song Database (DigiTrad):

-----
http://www.mudcat.org/@displaysong.cfm?SongID=8097
ANGUS AND THE KILT
(Lolly Foy)

Well, Angus was a happy lad, for soon he would be wed.
He'd found a brisk and bonnie lass to take him to his bed.
And happier still his mother was that he had found a wife,
For, truth be told, she'd often feared she'd be stuck with him for life.

Cho: It's a fine thing, a bonnie thing, the grandest ever seen.
(Repeat last line of verse)

In honor of the grand affair that wedding day would be,
She set about to weave a kilt, the finest ever seen.
The night before the wedding, when the kilt was finally done,
She called young Angus over and she tried it on her son.

She wound the kilt about him and she wound, and wound, and wound,
And when she finished winding, it was still eight yards too long.
"Never fear, my bonnie boy. We'll simply cut it off,
And to your blushin' bride we'll give the extra length of cloth."

Now Angus was so pleased, y'know, his heart had swelled with pride.
He felt that he must rush right out and show it to his bride.
'Twas raining, so he grabbed a cloak to shield him on the moor,
But in his haste to be away his kilt slammed in the door.

Well, Angus was in such a rush to show off for his bride,
He never really noticed that he had left his kilt behind.
He knocked upon her door and cried, "Oh, let me in, I pray!
I've something that you've got to see before our wedding day."

Now, Bridget let him in, y'know, but said, "Ye cannot stay.
For I've got to have my beauty sleep before our wedding day."
"I'll only be a moment, love, but it's so grand, my dear,
Ye've really got to see what I'm a-hiding under here."

Now, when the cloak was thrown aside and Angus stood quite bare,
We must admit she was impressed and tried hard not to stare.
"Oh, love, I'll ne'er see finer, though far and far I roam!"
"Well, lass," he cried, "that's nothing! I've got eight more yards at home!"

Sung by Wench Works and by Saucy Jade. This song has a tune of its own,
but it f
its "THE SCOTSMAN'S KILT" as well.
-----

No "nine yards" in this version, but see the discussion here about a
possible connection to "the whole nine yards":

http://mudcat.org/thread.cfm?threadid=31508&messages=28#410526

--Ben Zimmer

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