Tiger Woods

[Jonathan Lighter]

Occam's Razor, Lighter's Law - both quite indispensible.

JL

Michael McKernan <mckernan at LOCALNET.COM> wrote:
---------------------- Information from the mail header -----------------------
Sender: American Dialect Society
Poster: Michael McKernan
Subject: Re: Tiger Woods
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Laurence Horn wrote:

>there was a whole slew of these, including one whose punchline hinged
>on someone being arrested for violating of the Mann Act by crossing a
>state lion for immortal porpoises. And then there was the one whose
>moral was "a Benny shaved is a Benny urned". Of course I forget the
>shaggy-dog lead-ups.

Drat, why must I rise to the bait?

'There once was a man named Benny, and Benny loved to shave. Every day,
Benny shaved several times, and on weekends, he sometimes shaved all day...
That is, until he was merrily going about his over-shaved way, when POOF!
A wicked witch appeared and said, 'Benny, I put a spell on you: if you
ever shave again, I will turn you into an urn.' With another POOF!,
accompanied by clouds of smoke and the smell of brimstone, the wicked witch
disappeared....
[add text ad libitum but tout jours unshaven; resolve with Benny, now an
old, old man, deciding the wicked old witch must at last be dead, so he
decides to go ahead and shave for the first time since she appeared,
whereupon, POOF!...]

I've added personal touches, and left out the interminable central
obfuscation, following Jonathan Lighter's 'law of the excluded middle,' but
this should suffice to orient anyone of reasonable imagination.

Please don't mention 'Peach Cream Pie.'





Michael McKernan

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