BRITNEY COMMANDO!!

[Jonathan Lighter]

LA-LA LAND (Dec. 2).--Britney Spears, fresh from her Las Vegas BIMBO SUMMIT!  with  Lindsay Lohan and Paris Hilton, has been photographed emerging from a limousine clearly wearing no underwear.

  The story, first reported by the Fox News Channel, was accompanied by the on-screen caption  "BRITNEY COMMANDO!"  (To "go commando" is teenspeak, documented by linguist Pamela Munro and others, meaning "to wear no underwear.")

  The phrase was popularized some years ago by an episode of the popular NBC series _Friends_.

  With a red stripe added editorially for modesty, the picture of Britney Spears, snapped by an unidentified photographer, was aired repeatedly on Fox's _Fox & Friends_ morning show. The show has criticized the current children's movie _Happy Feet_ as containing "gay and left-wing" propaganda inconsistent with family values.

  Paris Hilton has also been photographed commando. Sources claim the Big Three may have decided upon going commando as national policy during the BIMBO SUMMIT!  The related practice of "porky-pigging" is also believed to have been discussed.


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